More pandemic, more hypomania

Content Note: bipolar disorder, trauma I woke up this morning around 9 AM with a start, as if I had been ripped from another time and place. I felt the blood coursing through my veins. It was almost thumping. My chest hurt, a fusion of despair and desperation to get going on some unspecified goal. […]

Bipolar hypomania during a pandemic

I’ve been hypomanic for nearly two weeks. My therapist knows, my psychiatrist knows, my partner knows. Most importantly of all, I know. I know why I feel this bad, I’m not in denial. I’m not enjoying the creative edge. I’m not resisting treatment. But I’m already in treatment and on medication. They may be able […]

Can you lend me a laptop?

I’ve been without laptop for 24 days and it wasn’t working great for a month or so before that. My friend’s son kindly agreed to repair it because he loves cats and appreciates our work, but he’s stuck waiting on a part. For unknown period because it’s coming from overseas. He’s a lovely young man […]

The Destructive Creativity of Hypomania

I am what some call bipolar. Bipolar is not a respectful way to describe my disorder or identity. I have bipolar disorder. I live with bipolar disorder. It is part of me, but shortening a diagnosis to a single word is not efficient or effective. It’s just lazy. Don’t describe anyone as ‘bipolar’ I was […]

Teletherapy and Coping with COVID-19

Telehealth Teletherapy

When word broke of coronavirus, my therapist told me that her practice (East End Therapists) were getting prepared to offer teletherapy options. I was her first client using this technology. They use an  app called Simple Practice that can be accessed via the internet. My therapist creates a unique login code when she puts me […]

Review: Hoard a new play at off the WALL Productions in Carnegie

This is the sort of play that I would prefer to contemplate for a few days before I write a review. However, the importance and impact of this creation is so significant that I’m pushing through my own process to urge you – strongly – to Carnegie to see this show running for three weekends. March […]

That Time When the Social Security Administration Took Away My Disability Benefits Without Telling Me Why: Part One

SSDI Benefits Stopped

A week ago Friday, I put the final touches on an essay for PublicSource and gave it my blessing to be published the following Monday. The topic was social security and I had a teeny twinge about triggering an unwarranted review by someone who sees all the words I create, but doesn’t read them enough […]

Behind the essay: How writing about SSDI took a toll on my mental health

Sue Kerr trauma

Content Note: trauma, neglect, disability, Social Security Administration, mental health On October 28, I sent a draft essay to PublicSource to inquire about their interest in the topic. The final version was published on February 10, 2020. That’s over 100 days. I share this because I want to emphasize how much energy and time goes […]

Minute by minute with anxiety

Content Note: anxiety, trauma I have this stubborn belief that I can somehow untangle the strands of my anxiety from the strands of my trauma responses, that there is a clear line of delineation I can find if I just keep trying to feel my way through the fibers wrapped tightly around my chest. My […]

Processing Trauma with EMDR: Week Five

EMDR Trauma Processing

Content Note: trauma, EMDR, child abuse, sexual assault For more info on EMDR, talk with your therapist or visit this page. We decided to incorporate Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) into my therapy. Time has been the major constraint, so I’m documenting on my blog as a record for myself. You can read other posts […]