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If you had asked me last year or even last week to specify my blog audience, I would have said “the LGBTQ community” or “white cisgender people who need to read this” or some such statement. Those things are true, but they are not quite complete. I am writing this blog for my six niblings […]
“I may not always love you” As I move through the transformation of a divorce, I am humbled that I can look back at the past 20+ years and find those exquisite aching moments of happiness, joy, and beauty. Music is a language my spouse shared with me. She helped me level up from pop […]
For years, one little tulip would bloom in the backyard, between the compost bin and the cat feeding station. We’ve tried to remember it’s origin. I thought a family funeral, but my blog archives proved otherwise – they were a condolence gift in March 2008 after the death of our beloved dog Mona. She had […]
Today marks one year since my father, my Dad, died. He was 83 years old. I don’t know what to say, but it feels important to mark this day. Part of me wants to share anecdotes about him,the good memories and the funny stories. Another part of me wants to continue pointing out his traumas […]
Sunday, my youngest nephew, E, made his theatrical debute in Legally Blonde, JR. He played the villainous law professor. The evening show curtain opened at 6 PM. I had seated myself with his mom’s, turning off phone alerts. So it was only after the show that I found this text from him. 2 minutes after […]
It doesn’t hurt this year. Not in the way her absence from this world ricocheted through my mind and heart the past two years. I realize I write about with so much sadness. Let’s try something new this year. And whatever sadness I feel is mitigated by knowing she is safe. Hopefully, she’s safe in […]
February is coming around the bend quickly. I’m so determined to just not think about ‘those things’ happening this week that I keep pushing myself to find something, anything, anything at all to anticipate in February. Tears roll down my face, my face so intently clenched thinking of what could be good in February. It […]
I’ve been emotionally struggling recently, a combination of post-holiday ennui with a reflection on my current situation. Also, I miss my nephews. One reality I cannot avoid is that I am not self-sufficient. I haven’t had to think about myself as unit of independent sufficiency for 20+ years. Now I’m caught in the fallout of […]
In case you were wondering, my solo Christmas was actually fine. I had Xmas eve dinner with friends. Then I came home and settled in. I had a sweet roll for breakfast, then heated up my chicken dinner around 2. In between, I watched ‘Call the Midwife’ most of the day. I did take a […]
Came across an article about spending Thanksgiving and Christmas alone. I’m spending Christmas alone and struggling to find language. That Google search led me to the ‘solo life’ concept. Solos are people who prefer to live on their own. I’m unclear if this identity includes people who don’t consciously choose to live on their own. […]
