Happy Birthday To My Ledcat!
Friday May 18 is the 49th birthday of my dear Ledcat. Birthday revelry so far includes a blueberry muffin for breakfast and a Kong. (I donated a Kong to Animal Friends instead of buying her a birthday card. She loved it.) 
The other end of the day might include Mexican food. In between work for her and mundane ordinary stuff.
When I met Laura, she had just turned 40 – a month prior to our meeting actually. So I’ve had the privilege of sharing her dare I say best years? I’m going with that. Now I’m just entering my forties and she’s heading into her fifties. I think I’m supposed to take her on a cruise next year so if you start seeing Paypal buttons on this blog …
Be sure to wish her a Happy Birthday. She’s the best person I’ve ever known and she deserves much love & joy today.
Why IDAHO Matters …
Today, May 17, is the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia (IDAHO).
A number of politicians, media personalities and high-profile figures have also joined the chorus of supporters acknowledging the significance of the day, which aims to “celebrate human diversity and rededicate ourselves to a basic but essential truth—that human rights are universal and must be protected,” according to Ambassador Susan E. Rice, U.S. Permanent Representative to the United Nations.
Observed each year on May 17, IDAHO become an important day for millions of people around the world to pause and remember the victims of anti-gay violence and discrimination.
The global portal has a ton of information on why, how, who, where and so forth. Everything from how this compliments Pridefests to what’s happening on the ground for LGBTQ persons around the world.
There’s an interesting bit of news from Washington DC that highlights this for me. Today, the Department of Justice finalized rules to eliminate prison rape. 40% of gay and bi men on parole report that they were sexually assaulted while incarcerated – ranging from a county holding cell to a federal prison. Can you imagine what the data would say if those behind bars were safe to speak?
It is not funny to make prison rape jokes. I don’t care if you are an ally, a prince among men, a paragon of all that’s gay friendly – if you don’t shut it down when YOUR social media leads to prison rape jokes – then you are enabling rape. Period. It is not funny.
Shame on all of us. The media that sensationalizes arrests involving trans or gender non-conforming adults. The justice system which doesn’t have enough safeguards to keep everyone safe. And the rest of us who think “Bubba prison cellmate” jokes are acceptable.
RIP Donna Summer
As soon as I hear her name or the first chords of the song “She Works Hard For The Money,” I am transported to a dinky sub basement room in the West Mifflin Area High School gym where the “girls” learned coordinated quasi-aerobic routines while the boys did something completely different.
I was in 10th grade. I still remember some of the steps. I’m sure it was probably an excellent low impact way to help us with coordination and it definitely beat playing dodgeball.
I didn’t really know her in terms of disco until I was a little older. If GLEE weren’t going off the air, I’d like to see a little Unique/Mercedes tribute with some Brittana dancing …
RIP Donna. Thank you for paving the way for so many women.
Bob Evans Responds
Remember that time I went to Bob Evans and discovered that they categorized this blog as pornography?
Well, at least they got back to me in a timely manner. I wonder if company even cares that there prepacked software filters may not be fine tuned enough to actually support their corporate mission and values? Or if they just dismiss me as a whacky lesbian who wants to scan porn while she eats pancakes (and really … who among us doesn’t?)
Dear Ms. Kerr:
We certainly appreciate you taking the time to e-mail regarding our Bob Evans Restaurants.
Thank you for sharing your feedback regarding the filtering on our WiFi. I have shared your feedback with our operations team for their review.
Again, Ms. Kerr, we appreciate your comments. We value your patronage and appreciate your interest in Bob Evans Farms Inc.
LeAnn Purdy
Representative, Guest and Consumer Relations
3776 South High Street
Columbus, OH 43207
Phone: (800) 939-2338
Fax: (614) 492-4971
http://www.BobEvans.com
So I guess I have a new mission to test this corporate “one size fits all” philosophy about web filters to the test …
Equal Rights in Pennsylvania
Last week, I shared a graphic from The Guardiandepicting the fact that Pennsylvania as a Commonwealth has extended zero benefits to its LGBTQ residents (and tax payers.)
From The Guardian
I’ve been challenged – on the fact that a State Surpreme Court determined that as PA permits single persons to adopt, they cannot use sexual orientation of the second parent to prohibit adoption. This was a landmark victory. Ten years ago.
Ten years ago.
And in the ensuing ten years, it has not been written into law. So here is what actually can happen – your family petitions the judge to waive the rules and permit two persons of the same gender to adopt. The judge can say NO. They probably won’t and if they do, you can appeal. But that’s not the same thing as a right. Its not equality. The adoption hearing should be a joyous occasion.
I was also challenged because the quality of our lives does not depend upon the state recognizing our rights. I agree that rights are not recognized, not created. But in reality, most Pennsylvania LGBTQ families do not have the resources and privilege to weather being mistreated or unrecognized.
So what? Well, here’s what – there is good news. Currently, Pennsylvania has 28 antiddiscrimination ordinances on the municipal level. Thanks to Equality PA for the information.
- City of Philadelphia (1982 SO, 2002 GI)
- City of Harrisburg (1983)
- City of Pittsburgh (1997)
- City of York (1998)
- City of Lancaster (2002)
- Allentown Ordinance (2002)
- Erie County (2002)
- New Hope Borough (2002)
- City of Scranton (2003)
- Swarthmore Borough (2006)
- City of West Chester (2006)
- City of Easton (2006)
- Lansdowne Borough (2006)
- State College Borough (2007)
- Allegheny County (2009)
- City of Reading (2009)
- Doylestown Borough (2010)
- Lower Merion Township (2010)
- Borough of Conshohocken (2011)
- Haverford Township (2011)
- City of Bethlehem (2011)
- Springfield Township (2011)
- Newtown Borough (2011)
- Whitemarsh Township (2011)
- Jenkintown Borough (2011)
- Susquehanna Township (2011)
- Cheltenham Borough (2012)
- Abington Township (2012)
This is great. We may actually have the most in the nation. But consider this: Pennsylvania is divded into 67 counties, only one of which is also a city (Philadelphia.) We have 56 cities, 958 boroughs, 1547 municipalities and one town.
In some cases, the municipal law covers multiple entities – like Allegheny County’s ordinance extends to each munipality, borough and so forth in the County. Thus, the second best case scenario is that all 67 counties pass non-discrimination ordinances. That could be a nightmare of slight differences and legal questions about what applies where and not to mention – multiple bureacracies.
The “best” case scenario is a statewide law that includes everyone and treats all of us with the same regard, respect and protection. HB300 is that legislation. It is sitting in the State House Committee and most likely will not move before this session ends. But I know it will be back – whatever happens.
And the good thing is that you can take action. You don’t have to sit patiently and wait for someone to recognize your rights and the rights of your family. A few suggestions
- Call your state representative and your state senator to go on the record asking for them to support this legislation. Even better, WRITE to them or visit their office. Take your children – good learning experience for them.
- Do you belong to an LGBTQ group, maybe a bowling league or a parenting group? Perhaps you can take a few moments to bring this up. It definitely applies to every single LGBTQ person in this state. Forward a link, bring postcards to your next potluck or invite someone from your legislator’s office to attend an event.
- Write a letter to the editor. People read those. A lot. You have everything from your local patch com to the mainstream newspapers to choose among. Here’s my twitter list of over 105 regional media folks and outlets. Follow them. Send them links about LGBTQ events in their neck of the woods. You can use the list without adding all 100+ people to your twitter account … just go to twitter and “follow” the list itself. Its a great way to seize the moments.
- Do you need a Gov 101 refresher? Can you name your state senator and do you know what the difference is between her and your US Senator? Project VoteSmart has a good online tool for you to use. Bookmark when you need a refresher.
Photo Credit Thomas C. Waters
The most important thing is to make the leap from being concerned/aware to action. Action is what led to each of these municipalities extending their protections. It starts with anything as simple as calling your elected official to making time for a meeting. And using your social media power to prod/encourage others to take action.
Last week was historic. It was wonderful to hear President Obama affirm his support of marriage equality, but remember – he said it is a state level issue. And last week we also witnessed the brutal vote for Amendment 1 which defines marriage in North Carolina – an amendment that is going to devastate hundreds of thousands of people who are not married, gay and straight. That’s almost the exact same language in the proposed PA amendment which is also sitting in the the House State Government Committee.
I realize how complicated this is, but Pennsylvania has recognized ZERO rights. That’s a pretty fundamental fact. If you don’t do anything, that’s not going to change. And your children – our children – deserve better.
Pittsburgh Lesbian Blog, Blogger Honored for Contributions to the Community
PITTSBURGH– Local blogger Sue Kerr, editor and founder of Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents, the longest running LGBT blog in Southwestern Pennsylvania is honored to be named the 2012 recipient of the “Stacey Walker Memorial Award” by Keystone Alliance Gaylife Newsletter. 
The award was established to honor the spirit of columnist and Greensburgbased drag king performer Stacey Walker. Stacy passed away in February 2009.
“Stacy always was helping people and she stood for the best things of our community,” explained John DeBartola, President. “Each year we choose a recipient who shows the very best to the community and advocates for them and that [is] Sue. [She is] always trying to help raise awareness and change the community for the best so we felt [she] deserved the award.”
Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents was also named “Favorite GLBT Media Publication” after two rounds of voting by members and readers of the newsletter. The vote was open to individuals throughoutPennsylvania,West VirginiaandOhio. This is the first year a blog has been honored for media work. Kerr was previously named “Lesbian of the Year” in 2010.
“This is a very humbling honor – to receive both the support of the community for our blogging efforts and to be recognized as an advocate in the spirit of Stacey Walker,“ says Kerr.
A complete list of 2012 honorees can be found here.
Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents was founded in 2005 as the first lesbian led blog focusing on Pittsburghand the region. The blog is recognized regionally for its contributions to the political dialogue as well as advocacy on a range of issues that are not highlighted by mainstream media. Kerr is a contributor to the national blogging team at The Bilerico Project and has been published on Pam’s House Blend, BlogHer, and DailyKos. She is also a frequently sought out commentator on LGBTQ news in thePittsburgh region. Kerr mostly recently participated in the successful effort to recruit the Pittsburgh Pirates to make a video for the “It Gets Better” project.
The mission of the Keystone Alliance/Gaylife Newsletter as a population of different people and perspectives, is to aspire to promote the growth of all people in their lives. GLBT members of the community and their allies join together to create an organization where people exchange ideas, listen to one another with consideration and respect, and are committed to fostering civility. As members of the GLBT community and others, the organization strives to achieve the following individual commitments: 1. To strengthen the community; 2. To foster an environment for personal growth, to be helpful to others and respect their rights. We will discourage intolerance, hatred, and injustice, and promote constructive resolution of conflict; 3. To contribute to the future of the betterment of the community: ourselves, the community, the nation, and the world. We believe in freedom of the mind and spirit and promote the health and well-being of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender persons to reach their potential.
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Post-Gazette Columnist Dailey Wants To Have Her (Gay Wedding) Cake and Eat It, Too
The fundamental problem with Ruth Ann Dailey is that she wants to support marriage equality AND support using tax payer dollars to fund religious programs.
And her own political beliefs don’t bend that way, no matter how much history she cites.
Here’s the basic argument
Ruth Ann agrees that same sex couples should have access to the civil institution of marriage, recognized by all levels of government. That’s consistent with her interpretation of fairness and small government.
Ruth Ann believes that faith based organizations should not be forced to recognize those marriages.
Ruth Ann honors the centuries old traditions of faith based organizations providing social and health care services (hospitals, schools, work with immigrants, etc) and believes the government should continue to fund them with public monies.
Ruth Ann believes that these faith based organizations should not have to comply with federal laws around the use of these tax payers dollars if those laws conflict with their faith. So they should get a waiver. I think.
Ruth Ann also believes that the government should change the name of marriage to “civil union” to help clear up the issue.
So, its fair to say that Ruth Ann is trying to reconcile her beliefs about civil marriage with her beliefs about religious freedom. And the problem is she wants to fit a square peg into a round hole. If she simply set aside the public dollars, the peg would fit.
It is also fair to say that while Ruth Ann is struggling to reconcile this, she is being very disengenuous by putting forth ridiculous ideas like the US government and 50 state goverments (plus Puerto Rico) stop using the word marriage. She’s smarter than that. Its a way to appear reasonable without actually using reason.
Look, everyone I know who supports marriage equality is fine with the idea that religious marriage does not have to include same sex marriage. Fine. No problem. We aren’t insisting that anyone’s religious freedom be abridged. I’ve never seen that.
The issue is that the word marriage means two different things. And that’s an issue with English as a language, not gay advocates.
Ruth Ann’s worldview is that the First Amendment should have two different meanings, too. First, it should protect faith communities from extending religious practices to include something they oppose. But, second, it should also allow faith communities to be paid with public dollars to practice their religious beliefs.
Whoa. That doesn’t work.
I have faith Ruth Ann’s innate intelligence will one day triumph over her irrational attempts to redefine the First Amendment. In the meantime, let’s simply set aside her incoherent ramblings that emanate from this core illogical base. She’s really an outlier as a political analyst because of this irrational thinking. I’m hoping she comes round to a logical conclusion. Because she is smart and engaging and has a lot to offer.
Marriage Equality in PA
Don’t count on it.
I know we are all pretty excited about the statements from Vice President Joe Biden and President Barack Obama. As we should be.
But I had a recent twitter discussion with someone who challenged me on the fact that Pennsylvania has enacted no statewide LGBT rights in legislative statute. No adoption rights. No non-discrimination rights. No bullying education. No rights in the schools. No hate crimes. And no marriage equality. She claimed that as second-parent adoption was validated by State Supreme Court 10 years ago, it counts. I challenged her and she then said marriage equality would end that.
She’s right. If Pennsylvania recognized same sex marriages, same sex married couples could adopt without problem. But that’s far from the most significant issue. And I continue to promote that pushing for marriage before the Commonwealth is ready is a bad idea.
We need to lay the building blocks for ALL LGBT residents, not just those who want to marry. We need to push for job security, housing access and safe learning environments. And while we have achieved progress on that front, it seems the way of the Pennsylvania gay is to busy our head in the sand and pretend its okay.
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
A recent Public Policy Polling poll showed Pennsylvania opposition to gay marriage at 50 percent, with only 38 percent approving, leading Byron Tau at Politico to note the president “appears to have gone against the safest read of polling data on gay marriage.”
We continue to “contain” a marriage amendment of our very own to committees in the House and Senate, but that’s about politics. We just un-elected Babette Josephs who was key to keeping the PA House Committee on State Government in some check from its wildcat unfettered hate-leader, Daryl Metcalfe.
I predict we are going to see a backlash as of yet unheard of in Pennsylvania as Diane Gramley of the PA Family Association and her minions and overlords take all that money piling up in the coffers of the Pennsylvania Research Council and unleash it on us. They are going to win PA for Romney at any cost and then they are going to up the ante to push through that marriage amendment.
Feigning ignorance about adoption rights in Pennsylvania is not an option, not if you don’t want your next adoption cut off at the knees. There’s no room for complacency. And there’s no room to justify taking the child in a LGBT family to Chick-Fil-A … seriously?
Let me remind you … if you are part of the LGBTQ community … every right you currently have is granted by your local municipality.
Let me remind you … the President said “let the states decide.”
Let me remind you … unmarried heterosexual couples outnumber same sex households by nearly 10 to 1, but the overlords have no qualms casting them to the side to get to our families.
Let me remind you … our “Democratic Congressman” Mark Critz voted against the LGBT community every chance he had, even when it was unnecessary.
Let me remind you … every time you toss a few coins into the Catholic pass-a-basket, you feed the very machine that will try to crush you.
I sound fatalistic, but the delusions of people in a mere few days make me gravely concerned. I suspect people with a little bit of affluence don’t want to hear the truth. They don’t want to acknowledge that white privilege and socio-economic privilege only go so far. They delude themselves because its not worth the time to educate themselves about how the government works — the federal Matthew Shepherd Hate Crimes law doesn’t do squat if the frat boy beating you to a pulp calls you a “faggot” while he does it. Look it up. Pittsburgh offered domestic partner benefits to City employees almost 17 years go … the firefighters and EMT unions still won’t accept them. And then we wonder about diversity among first responders?
If you think President Obama is going to push through ENDA in the next Congress, you are nuts. But have you even talked to your State Representative about HB 300? Do you know who your state rep is? Do you understand that Obama cannot force PA or Westmoreland County government to do anything? Do you understand that?
I’m not feeling optimistic. As soon as someone countered a posting about the FACTS on LGBT rights with a diatribe about quality of life for LGBT folks, I wanted to swallow my tongue (some would probably approve.) WTF is that going to do to protect the next trans persons arrest in Fayette County for the crime of being different?
50% of your neighbors disapprove of marriage equality. I wonder if the question was framed so that they understood that marriage amendments destroy ten times as many opposite sex families as LGBT? I doubt it, but its a hard message to sell.
That’s where you come in. Its your moral duty to get informed and do something.
This Post Is a SpaceHolder …
So, I’m having some blog quirks since I posted about Bob Evans – my right hand column disappeared. Do you think Bob Evans is that powerful.
So I have to post something else to see if I can fix the problem.
Random thoughts
Why has so much of Pittsburgh’s media coverage on President Obama’s statement featured heterosexual pundits? Perhaps to promote the sexy political angles and not give a bit of concern to the impact on LGBT families here in Pittsburgh? Perhaps. But its sad.
There’s a tendency when organizing on Facebook to treat the tools like everyone participating is on in the “inside” and understands some of the basics like “who is Jessie?” and “where exactly are we meeting?” and “yes, we listed 3 different start times but you should know what that means.” Its not effective. Its also not effective to respond to my request for clarity by telling me how busy you are. I’m busy too. I took time from my personal busy to reach out for information rather than just clicking delete. The least you can do is simply answer my question. I don’t really need an apology, just the information.
Avoiding “conflict” when people seem to disagree on Facebook is not necessarily that different than turning a blind eye to bullying among kids. Seriously. Maybe we have to actually read the dialogue and determine if there’s a power disparity or a kindness disparity or a bitchiness disparity AND then decide to back away. I go head to head with a supporter of Mark Critz all of the time. But we are friends and trust one another and have discussed the ground rules. I don’t mind if you interject, but I’m okay if you don’t. But when people put others down and you say nothing – no statement to defend someone or not even a personal note to see if they are okay – well, aren’t you sort of turning a blind eye?
It hurts when people egg you on when they support your agenda and then not lift a finger when you become the agenda.
I seem to be obsessed with GLEE videos.
sddd
Why is Bob Evans Homophobic?
I know you are probably wondering why I am eating at Bob Evans? Especially when there’s a great Indian place across the street and a Mexican place down the block. 
Well, Bob Evans is comfort food. It is somewhere my family went all of the time and somewhere I could feel … safe? I knew exactly what to expect from the prepackaged food. And I wasn’t disappointed except with a really ugly lemon wedge floating in my glass of water as if it had tried to drown itself and failed. Poor thing. I had a really awful day and wanted to feel some sense of comfort.
So Bob Evans has wi-fi which I was happy to use on my phone while I ate. I checked my email, facebooked etc and then I tried to check the stats on a page from my website. Whoa.
“Sonic Wall Block. Site is considered pornography.”
Ahhh …. I’ve been down this road before. Corporations use preset ‘default’ filters to block anti-family sites. Only in the case of LGBTQ sites, they completely screw it up. My site – THIS site – is not pornographic. I run no ads, I rarely curse and and its not particularly adult in terms of sex chat. But it does have the big LESBIAN in the middle of the page name.
When I encounter these situations, I run a few checks.
- Does website for Hooters load? Yes.
- Does website for at least 3 other LGBT sites NOT named LGBT load? Yes.
- Does a to remain unnamed actual porn site load? Yes
So check. Now I’ll contact Bob Evans and complain. This is prejudice because it assumes that the word lesbian is pornographic. Yes, I know the filters were set by someone else but it doesn’t take a corporate diversity genius to realize its an issue to add to the category of “respect our customers.”
Its also ineffective. Would you rather your 15 year old using her phone to browse while you drink your 18th coffee refill take a look at the Hooters website or mine? Would you be okay if the “LGBT” site has adult language, discussions of sex and lots of photos but doesn’t have the “name” BIG GAY WEBSITE?
Of course not. And Bob Evans isn’t really concerned about your child either or they would go to the trouble to set the blocking tools to block content, not words. Lesbian is not a dirty word. It doesn’t represent evil pornography. It simply is a shorthand method to maintain a “family friendly” atmosphere without doing the heavy lifting.
And, by the way, lesbians eat at Bob Evans. I can name a half dozen off the top of my head. Soooo…. maybe we should start tipping based on being considered porn addicts?
So here’s what’s probably going to happen. Someone from Bob Evans will reach out to me and explain all of this that I already know. They MIGHT open my one particular site because I complained. But they won’t change their system because frankly – they don’t really care. One “oh my” from a horrified good Christian beyotche on a Sunday brunch is far more powerful than our entire community.
Bob Evans scored a 15 on the HRC Equality Index. They get those points for including sexual orientation in their non-discrimination policy. That was their only score. And to be fair, I’ve never experienced discrimination at Bob Evans when I’ve been in full out lesbian mode – you know, with my partner ordering eggs and such.
But … even if Bob Evans opens my site because I complain, they aren’t going to get to the heart of the problem and they aren’t going to challenge the tech-assumption that the word LESBIAN is well, pornographic. Its a stupid, ill-informed, inaccurate assumption. But it sends a signal that they will happily take our dollars without spitting in our food, but not use the L-word.
Rest assured, this is not limited to Bob Evans. Panera does it. Even Facebook does it – it took the intervention of GLAAD to get them to allow me to “name” my blog’s page Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondent. Apparently, they make an exception for “gay” because its also a popular surname. Damn gays and their legitimizing ties. 
But seriously … Facebook is supposed to be homofriendly and yet they simply won’t address this.
I’m sure it has a lot to with money. I’m sure its expensive to reprogram your entire sonic wall/filter system to be effective in preventing access to actual pornography. But note to Bob Evans – I got through just fine to multiple LGBT websites filled with ads for gay dating sites that feature men in skimpy swimsuits KISSING. Because I knew the URLs. None of those sites are porn either. They are hard hitting news sites that run ads tailored to the LGBT community. And Hooters!
So if you feel inclined, contact Bob Evans by emailand ask them to reevaluate the effectiveness of their “sonic wall” and the real message they are sending to us customers, gay and straight. You can also tweet them @BobEvansFarms
In the meantime, we as a community need to put pressure on the HRC and others to consider this standard practice as an indicator of LGBT cultural competency. I have dozens of stories of people being blocked and they all involve big companies. The ability to fine tune filters does exist. Its just not going to be a priority until someone draws attention to the issue. And that person shouldn’t have to be the employee — I had several incidents where I went to my IT team to get legitimate access to sites FOR WORK and had to explain. That was so annoying. I would politely send the request with a cc to my boss (who trusted me) and I would still get push back. The suspicion was unnecessary. My boss was clearly aware of my request. Duh!
It creates problems. If you are a gay employee and want to look at an appropriate news site JUST LIKE OTHER PEOPLE LOOK AT CNN, are you going to feel comfortable asking for permission? And if you are already having some qualms about being perceived as gay, are you going to be okay asking for access to a site – even for a work related purpose? NO.
My favorite story is when a friend who is a partner in a lawfirm couldn’t get to my site. He went to IT and they asked him to explain WHY. His response “None of your fucking business.”
He is, after all, a partner. The site was opened.
Blocking our sites reduces access to important information. My blog is filled with critical facts on news, media, politics, cultural and so forth topics. I would think it looks GOOD for Pittsburgh to be home to a site that tackles these topics. Yes, I”m fine that my site might have mature content because I talk about some heavy duty issues. I KNOW THAT. But its not pornography.
And to suggest otherwise is simply offensive.
(Irony – if Bob Evans officials actually take time to investigate, they can’t read this! ha!)
