Tag Archives: Pittsburgh Pridefest

Letter to the Editor: Show Real LGBT Families in Post-Gazette

You know how I love the LGBTQ-positive letters to the editor. Here’s a great one from the Post-Gazette written by Ellen Garbundy of Butler:

I found the photo on page B-2 of Monday’s paper offensive. The caption read: “Anti-gay protesters were on site but largely ignored during Pride Fest after the parade on Sunday.” The message on the protesters’ sign does not resonate with me at all. That sign could have been ignored by the editor and, in its place, images of the parade participants celebrating pride in who they are.

My grandson is being raised by two loving mommies. They both work hard at their jobs, are active in their community, pay their mortgage and other bills and attend church on Sundays. Nowhere in your coverage did you portray families like this. Showing photos like that might help homophobic people see that same-sex couples are just like the rest of us.

To be fair, the Post-Gazette did print multiple positive photos but I don’t believe there was a simple same sex family with children pic.

Ellen is spot-on that the images in media to impact people’s perception, but I think there is also value in being a “truth teller” as a Alvin McEwan from Holy Bullies and Headless Monsters puts it. Tell the truth, print the truth, photograph the truth about the attempts to demonize and isolate folks in the LGBTQ community. Let the public see the hate signs and children being forced to protest something they can’t possibly understand. And let them realize that Pride carried on and no one paid attention to the hate.

But I appreciate Ellen taking umbrage with those who hate her family and making time to write a letter about it. Ellen is changing hearts and minds as much as any PG photographer.

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Melissa Etheridge “Pittsburgh Pride Showed Me The Money”

Dear God, I’m going to get reamed for focusing on this quote, but seriously …

Melissa Etheridge made her Pridefest debut in Pittsburgh this month and it was apparently a terrific show, but my skepticism was confirmed by a quote she gave to PG music editor Scott Mervis:

She repeated that she played this fest, not ones in LA or New York, because Pittsburgh “showed me the money.” It’s hard to say she didn’t deliver.

Now, I do not hate Pittsburgh Pridefest. I volunteered for three years when I was on the board at the Gay & Lesbian Community Center. I have attended most years – even staffing a booth for a former employer. I was out of town this year so I missed most of the activities, but I did promote them using social media. So let’s be clear – I think Pride is important if not the most important part of Pittsburgh’s LGBTQ community. But its not a sacred cow and anyway, my issue is with Melissa Etheridge not Pridefest per se.

I’m a little skeptical about Ms. Etheridge given the terrible way she’s treated her ex-wife Tammy Lynn Michaels. Supporting marriage equality means supporting divorce equality and Melissa is not doing anyone favors by trying to wiggle out of paying Tammy an equitable portion of her net worth. We can party in the streets all we want, but screaming that you support marriage equality while ignoring your marital obligations is bullshit.

Her quote about “show me the money” made me laugh out loud and pretty much confirmed my impression that she’s a rock star first and gay activist probably like 10th or 12th.

Does it matter? Eh, my only concern is that every penny she received is a penny that doesn’t go to the local LGBTQ service providers (I know there was a small fundraiser for Persad, people!) as we face significant slashes to the human services and health budgets by the Corbett Administration.

Are we “priding” beyond our means? Well, probably. It would be interesting if some third party were to research the net worth of Pridefest – how many people register to vote, how many sign up for email lists, how much is raised in donations, how many dogs are adopted, etc. A sociological study, Dr. Lombardi? Measuring the “pride” factor would be difficult – how do you assign a value to the sense of belonging someone feels – I remember my first few Pridefests.

I don’t think the size and wow factor of Pittsburgh’s Pridefest is an indicator of anything substantial. The way we treat the most vulnerable persons in our community is the best indicator of who we are as a community and in the coming months & years, we’ll have ample opportunity to prove we are one of the leading LGBTQ communities, not just a leading Pridefest City.

I gotta give Melissa credit – she lays it out there. And with two ex-wives and four kids to support along with the lack of a recent hit record, she probably needs to be shown the money. But let’s not pretend she’s a crusader. She’s a rock star and that’s just fine.

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Western PA Bloggers Team Up To Promote LGBT Equality

My colleague Tom Waters drafted this explanation of a joint initiative we are launching …

Two prominent western PA bloggers are joining forces to host a first ever LGBTQA bloggers and social media summit. Sue Kerr, primary blogger at Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents and Thomas C Waters of thomascwaters.com are planning a get together that they hope will be informative, interesting and meaningful for gay, lesbian, bi, trans, queer and allied friends who are active in any aspects of social media. The preliminary work on an agenda is done, and the next phase is to find a date that may help attract the most participants. A survey is posted here to gather ideas about date and time.

Some might say that the rise of microblogging, has meant that the blog is dead, but Kerr and Waters feel the exact

Then Governor Ed Rendell kicks off Pride March June 2006

opposite is true. There is greater need today for thorough and meaningful reporting via blog and spread throughout by social media. There is a role to be played everywhere on Tumblr, Pinterest, Facebook, Google +, as well as other social media tools and platforms. These two hope to encourage more people who are working within any of these medias to communicate, work together, and increase our presence through LGBTQA voices.

“I want to cast a wide net” explains Kerr “and bring people together who may not be aware of each other so we can amplify the message.” Waters adds, ” there are as many viewpoints as their are LGBTQA persons and by inviting lots of dialogue, more diverse opinions and ideas will get shared and understood.” too often the mainstream media reduces LGBTQ stories to quick sound items, and our roles can be to help provide more complete, stories with depth and meaning.

A “summit” may sound a bit intimidating, but it isn’t meant to be. Rather, this isn’t just getting together for coffee and chitchat. Our goal is to start a process where individuals who often work in isolation, now feel they have a network or more support, ad as a group, we own the role we can play in communication and activism.

For more information, use the survey, or contact Sue Kerr or Thomas Waters

I want to add a personal bit.

I do think people are likely to wonder why Tom and I are teaming up – we don’t often agree. I think however its actually sad that all these years later — 6.5 since I began blogging — there’s just the two of us. And while our disagreements may be public, its easy to overlook that 1) we often have each other’s back and 2) it would be terribly uninteresting if the ONLY TWO LGBT BLOGGERS in Pittsbugh agreed on things all of the time.

And one thing up on which we agree is the need to amplify the voices we know are there … the live journals, the tweets, the tumblrs and the folks diligently working to use social media in their efforts to secure equality for all of us.

Personally, I’m gravely concerned that people misunderstand the status of LGBT rights in Pennsylvania. The fact is that we have not a single statewide right (yes, second parent adoption is permitted, but its not a law.) I’m concerned that so many LGBT persons and our allies misunderstand this reality or misinterpret the impact of federal achievements like executive orders or even federal laws like the Matthew Shepherd Hate Crimes Act. The lack of awareness hurts us and feeds the power of people who hate us.

Yes, hate. They hate what we represent and they will use us as political fodder to advance their own power. You need look no further than Daryl Metcalfe’s latest attack on Planned Parenthood. Or back up to the Voter ID law designed to correct the non-existent problem of voter fraud. Or how about the tightening of SNAP (food stamps) asset tests when again the degree of fraud was miniscule. Clearly – women, marginalized people, poor neighbors are among those under assault.

I included a photo I really enjoy – then Governor Ed Rendell kicking off the Pride march in 2006. That was pretty heady for me. He stood on the platform and used a bullhorn to proudly announce he supported marriage equality. In 2006. In spite of that support and the slim majorities in the Pennsylvania House, we have no rights codified in PA law. That’s not to suggest there hasn’t been progress … I’ve covered that in detail in other posts. But the personal commitment of our leader does not necessarily translate into job protections and housing and safe schools for our community.

I didn’t know Thomas in 2006. Now I do. I didn’t know Rayden and all the others using social media. And now I do. I didn’t have a national platform thru Bilerico. Now I do. But I’ll be honest. Its exhausting writing about this. Its lonely. And I’d love to spend some time with others.

This agenda is not about marriage equality. It is about equality. Marriage is part of that. I throw that out because I want to make sure everyone feels welcome to bring their agenda to the table.

So please take a few moments to complete the survey. We hope to kick off with some sort of meeting in June … casual, not a formal training. To make that happen, we need your input now.

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Melissa Etheridge Headlines Pittsburgh Pride Activities; Does It Matter That She’s a Bad Wife?

Rumors have been circulating, but today the Pittsburgh Pridefest organizers confirmed that Emmy winner and openly lesbian Melissa Etheridge will be performing at “Pride in the Streets” the Saturday event of Pridefest.

I like Melissa’s earlier music and I have a lot of respect for how gracefully she walked through her battle with breast cancer. But I also think Melissa has been a pretty old school white male rocker when it comes to her wives <ahem> So I’m sort of pondering this from a little different point of view than most.

Now I understand that the entertainment industry is filled with people who basically suck at being in responsible, mature relationships. LOL. Its the hallmark of Liza, Judy, Debby, Liz, et al. And you can’t swing a walking stick without hitting an ex-wife/girlfriend of a 60′s rocker a la Mick Jagger, Rod Stewart and well pretty much everyone. Even Sir Paul McCartney has three wives under his belt.

So does it matter that Etheridge continues the “bad boy” routine by having children with and then discarding her female partners? Should it matter to me? Well, actually the reason I care is made pretty artfully by Etheridge’s ex, Tammy Lynn Michaels who is being excorciated for seeking an equitable settlement in the dissolution of their relationship.

AE: OK. A lot of people are criticizing you for not being able to live on the $23,000 a month you’re currently getting.
TM: [I] gave up the job that was $25,000 a week, not $23,000 a month. I gave up $100,000 a month.

AE: Which show was that?
TM: Committed, with the late Tom Poston. Another season would have put me at $30,000 a week. In my mind, based on that percentage of raise increases, I’d theoretically have made $30k by fall of 2005, $35k per week by fall of 2006, $40k per week by fall of 2007, all the way up to $65K a week by now.

But [Melissa] wouldn’t take off from her music stuff to allow me to do TV or movies. She implored me to be home. I hate to think, “Oh, I gave up my career,” because you know what? That would subtract from how much it meant to raise the kids.

AE: That math assumes a lot – Committed only ran for one season. Instead of lost wages or whether $23,000 is more than enough to live on, I’m wondering if it’s really about percentages. If Melissa is making almost $178,000 a month, as you say, then $23,000 is only about 13% of that. Straight wives would seek 50% of their husbands’ income, and many would get it, no?
TM: It’s the law. When we were together, there were a lot of things said and shared between us. And a lot of things were promised. I’m standing here saying: “You wanted to fight for gay rights; you wanted everything to be fair. You wanted to stand up for all of us? Because now I’m an ‘us,’ the gays that wanted to have gay rights and equality and not look like dip s–ts.”

I think Tammy deserves her fair share of Melissa’s income and I certainly think Melissa should part with more than 13% to support her family, either of her families. Sigh.

So while this is sort of cool, I’m a bit skeptical why someone who at one time would have sold out Consol Energy Center no problem would play for a few thousand people on Liberty Avenue? Does that make me a bad lesbian or a bad Pittsburgher?

Well, no. It makes me someone who thinks equality is equality. Melissa isn’t high on my list because she conducts herself like a privileged jerk and that doesn’t sit well with me. We are struggling for inches on the spectrum of equal rights and she’s shirking her family/legal duties. Can we shut up and enjoy the music? Well, sure.

The question is whether we should.

Nonetheless, my quibble is with Melissa not with Pride. They’ve had all sorts of colorful characters in the past so this is certainly not a controversial choice. It will draw in attention and perhaps get some people down to Pittsburgh who might not otherwise attend. And that’s a good thing.

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