The Impact of Police Trauma on My Life

Here Come the Police Last night, a friend stopped by with some meals for me. I jumped in the car with her to avoid the torrent of rain. She was parked behind my house in an alley, but under a streetlight. We chatted about our days, caught up on assorted things. It was maybe 20 […]

Happy Two Year Crowdiversary. What an awkward way to acknowledge an awkward situation.

On this date in 2023, my friends Melissa and Diane helped me to get this crowdfund started It was a Saturday morning after an anxious night. I had called RESOLVE to ask for their assistance getting my prescription medications from my home – I was still homeless, staying with friends at that point. So I […]

How to cope with relationship trauma and recovery

It feels important to acknowledge this day, this anniversary of a terrible series of events two years ago that upended my life forever. You can read the details here. The details matter, of course, but at the same time – it is today that matters. My due process rights were violated. I was homeless for […]

When Occasional Empty Spaces Get You Down

I am restless today, but in that quiet way where my body is still while my mind leaps from topic to topic. The plan for today was to clean the cab of Gertie. She’s a mess. But it feels like 90 degrees outside so I’ll have to wait a few hours. My back hurts. I […]

Attachment disorder, bipolar depression, and me

I’ve been feeling down the past few days – overwhelmed by the media I consume, processing some difficult things in therapy this week, not eating well, not having much energy. Some of that is the weather of course. But June is historically a tough month for me with regard to bipolar depression. I have what’s […]

Mental Health Awareness Month: Revealing the Layers of My Mental Illness and Childhood Trauma

Content Note: This post delves into mental health diagnoses, but also child abuse, childhood sexual violence, rape, abandonment, and more in great detail. An important piece of my mental health journey has been to embrace the different diagnoses. I have bipolar disorder Type I, I have severe anxiety, and I have complex trauma or cPTSD. […]

Riding in cars with boys – how exposure therapy resolved my trauma

In October 2023, I began writing about two specific trauma experiences arising from my experiences the previous August – police interactions and riding in cars. Since then I’ve been working to process both. This post is about the car trauma. How I realized I had car trauma Back then I wrote “Then we layer in […]

This is How Allegheny County Interprets Due Process Under the Pennsylvania Mental Health Law.

‘No Kings’ Means ‘Yes, Due Process’ Right? Local government in Allegheny County might not agree. I think it is important you know that Allegheny County and UPMC are denying they have certain due process obligations in the involuntary civil commitment process. Allegheny County government is denying that they have certain due process obligations. Scroll to […]

Mental Health Awareness Month Resists Stigma

Over the past 20 years of blogging, my understanding of my mental health has deepened considerably. I share more and more often because I am always learning and because I know that one of the biggest threats to my mental health is stigma. Every time I post here or on my social media about my […]

A dangerous moment in my depression requires a response

Today, I had a disturbing thought, wondering if my friends were tiring of hearing me talk about my current struggle with depression? Revisiting recent conversations, looking for subtext, listening for nuance – all to convince myself that I was indeed disturbing them. And that’s the deadly moment where many of us who won’t want to […]