On Day 194, I’m Edgy

Content Note: sexual violence That’s an understatement. On Monday, I’m planning to use EMDR tools to begin working on some new information. The world is on fire, but I’m sticking with the plan. The new information isn’t actually new – I have attachment challenges, not the least was due to bonding with a substitute caretaker […]

The Xmas When I Grew Up Too Fast

Content Note: childhood, family dynamics, shame When I was either a little girl about 5 or 6 years old, I wanted a baby doll that wet its diaper for Christmas. This was somewhere between 1975-77. I was quite thrilled when Santa brought me that doll. It wasn’t quite as fancy as some of the other […]

Ten Thanksgivings Without My Family

Thanksgiving placesetting

Content Note : trauma, neglect, family rejection, mental illness I don’t clearly remember the details of the last holiday meal I spent with my parents, but I know it was ten Thanksgivings ago. We were at Laura’s mother’s house and they were late. I was struggling mightily with mental health symptoms and not admitting yet […]

Saying “No” is a Revolutionary Act

setting boundaries

Recently, I blew up at another LGBTQ advocate who made some choices that I found questionable. I ended the conversation by telling them “Please don’t message me. I need a break from you. Thank you.” A week later, they unexpectedly sent me an expository email to help me understand their perspective and tell me how […]

The Art and Science of Unmaking Friends

Pittsburgh friends

Do you find it easy to make new friends? Tell us how you’ve mastered the art of befriending a new person. The fastest way in the world to shed yourself of a friend is to tell them the truth – the truth about your diagnosis, the truth about your needs and expectations, the truth about […]