Riding in cars with boys – how exposure therapy resolved my trauma

In October 2023, I began writing about two specific trauma experiences arising from my experiences the previous August – police interactions and riding in cars. Since then I’ve been working to process both. This post is about the car trauma. How I realized I had car trauma Back then I wrote “Then we layer in […]

Spencer Cassadine Lives Under My Bed

I trapped two male siblings in spring 2022 from Allegheny West. Mama was trapped a few weeks later. My naming protocol was based on soap opera characters. Mama became Helena Cassadine. Her boys were Stefano DiMera and Spencer Cassadine. Stefano is a love bug albeit an 18 lb love bug. We adopted him after realizing […]

How I’m Resisting Social Anxiety During These Holidays

social anxiety

Resisting social anxiety, holiday edition. Anxiety has been a mighty foe of mine since forever. In addition to missing outings and events, it has severed my ties to my friends and colleagues. My world grew much smaller, but I didn’t even feel it happening. When I was forced to leave my home 3+ months ago, […]

It is Hard to Get The Feeling and Sounds of Being Handcuffed Out of My Mind

Two pairs of handcuffs

35 days ago, I was handcuffed into a police cruiser under an invalid civil commitment warrant. I was only detained for four hours, but does that matter? Denying me my civil liberties – my actual liberty – for any period of time without just cause or due process is an affront to democracy. I am […]

COVID – Lingering

So my active symptoms began on Tuesday, August 16, but I was exposed the previous Friday. It has been over two weeks. I feel better, for sure. But I also feel different and not better or at least not myself better if that makes sense. Mostly, I am exhausted physically and mentally. I wake up […]

50

I just read a line in a crime novel on my Kindle app. In just three years, he’d turn fifty, one of life’s greatest milestones. The protagonist is a woman, making a note about her husband. It isn’t really relevant to the plot, except to give context to their good relationship. I’m turning 50 on […]

Ten Thanksgivings Without My Family

Thanksgiving placesetting

Content Note : trauma, neglect, family rejection, mental illness I don’t clearly remember the details of the last holiday meal I spent with my parents, but I know it was ten Thanksgivings ago. We were at Laura’s mother’s house and they were late. I was struggling mightily with mental health symptoms and not admitting yet […]

Hysterectomy Update: Now knowing what to ask about our bodies is how we end up losing ground with our own bodies

lesbian hysterectomy

It has been 11 days since my surgery. Most of those days have been filled with resting, walking around the house, resting, making sure that I eat, and reminding myself not to pick up a cat or dog. Our weather has been horrible so taking an outside walk was not an option, especially since my […]

Bobbi Jo, 63, is a Transgender Lesbian in Indiana County #AMPLIFY

Transgender Indiana County

  Name: Bobbi Jo Age: 63 County of Residence: Indiana, formerly Butler County Pronouns: she/her How do you describe your identity? Female lesbian. I’ve always been attracted to women. Transgender.  Please describe your coming out experience. Where did you find support? What challenges did you face? It happened while I was in a substance recovery program in Indiana. I am […]

The Advice I Wish Someone Had Offered

Good Advice

9:45 PM on a Friday night is a good time to post something that is really more for me than anyone else. I’ve had a lot of writer’s block this week – more like a stranglehold on my throat that prevents words from leaving my body in any form. I can think, but I cannot […]