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I didn’t know ‘dread’ is a clinical symptom. The difference between anxiety and dread is that anxiety is an unpleasant state of mental uneasiness, nervousness, apprehension and obsession or concern about some uncertain event while dread is great fear in view of impending evil; fearful apprehension of danger; anticipatory terror. So my spin through last week took me down a dark path […]
Well, it seems that I’ve arrived at the end of June without a significant depressive episode – a rarity for me. I don’t know why June is always a tough month for me, but the data tracks. A few days ago, I wasn’t sure I’d be standing in this moment today on June 30. I […]
Today is Pride. We had plans to go with a friend to see the parade and walk around the festival. Then the thoughts crept into my mind. Last night, I was fretting about the hill we’d have to walk up from our car to the festival. What if I couldn’t climb the hill? What if […]
I’ve blogged many times about my reverse seasonal mood disorders – elevated in the fall, low in the spring. We are not so oldWe have miles to goWe will take it slowAs the years unfoldThat’s a lot to know. This past week, my mood began to dip. Some of this was due to increasing my […]
CN: depression, suicide I woke up this morning from that thick fog of nightmares, the sort you have to physically wade yourself free from without succumbing to the false awakenings. I pulled my groggy subconscious free from traumatic images and experiences and sat up in bed with a start. As I sat there reorienting myself […]
I’ve been chronicling my struggle mental illness symptoms this spring and summer. Ten days ago, I was telling myself that I was coming out of it. I wasn’t so deeply depressed. I didn’t feel hypomanic. But I didn’t feel great. I was incredibly bitchy and mean. I was super frustrated at my inability to find […]
Content Note: bipolar disorder, suicide data, coronavirus Since late April, I have been miserably immersed in a mental health crisis – first, hypomania and then, depression. For more than two months, I have been very ill and struggling to slog through it. It has been nasty, wrapping entrails around me to distort my thoughts, trigger […]
Content Note: depression, bipolar disorder, trauma The past few days have been rough as I struggle through this depression. Very tough, painful and scary tough. The sort of symptoms where other people walk away because my pain and anguish are so big. And I can’t blame them. It is like these intense feelings are pounding […]
Content note: mental health, depression After three weeks of hypomania, I’m now entering my second week of depression. I’m safe and have resources and all that. But I’m miserable. I can’t be helpful to anyone right now. I’m struggling to focus on and understand political nuances that I typically would grasp. I feel quite bad […]
Content Note: depression, suicide, racial injustice I’m depressed. Yes, in the existential dread of a pandemic sort of way. Duh. But my three week bout of hypomania turned the corner into depression. I am grateful to be moving through my symptoms toward a stable mood, but depression ain’t fun. The transition was bumpy. I bounce […]
