On Day 202, I’m sick

I haven’t felt well all week, mostly gastro symptoms that I chalked up an unexpectedly spicy Thai food delivery. But I had a headache, too. Friday, we had to make deliveries of face masks to be packed for delivery, so a lot of running around. I was tired. We heated up leftovers for dinner and […]

Teletherapy and Coping with COVID-19

Telehealth Teletherapy

When word broke of coronavirus, my therapist told me that her practice (East End Therapists) were getting prepared to offer teletherapy options. I was her first client using this technology. They use an  app called Simple Practice that can be accessed via the internet. My therapist creates a unique login code when she puts me […]

Minute by minute with anxiety

Content Note: anxiety, trauma I have this stubborn belief that I can somehow untangle the strands of my anxiety from the strands of my trauma responses, that there is a clear line of delineation I can find if I just keep trying to feel my way through the fibers wrapped tightly around my chest. My […]

The loneliness of October

Trauma and Loneliness

Content Note: depression, trauma, sexual violence The last time I saw a friend in person by choice was September 22, 2019. That was three weeks ago, a probably unhealthy amount of time without socializing. And I have zero plans to change that pattern. This loneliness, this self-imposed isolation, is not new to me, but my […]

Post Vacation Anxiety

We arrived home Sunday morning. All was well. I was a little tired, but I was expecting that. I wasn’t expecting so much anxiety. It feels like I stuffed so much down inside me during our trip to avoid ruining things that it’s seeping out of my cells now. I’ve got all the old symptoms […]

Vacation. I Wish I’d Stayed (Not Really.)

Vacation Anxiety

It has been ten years since we took a vacation that is purely recreational. We’ve traveled, but it has always been tied to a conference or a work trip or so forth. That’s been fun and interesting, but not always restful or relaxing. Now that I’m away I wish I’d stayed This year, we made […]

Review: Weighted Blankets by Magic Weighted Blanket Helps Me Manage Anxiety

A few years ago, I read about the value of weighted blankets for people who live with anxiety. You might be more familiar with them being used for children with autism and incrasingly for adults with dementia or forms of Alzheimers. The concept is pretty simple. From the Magic Weighted Blanket website Weighted blankets, like […]

‘Nowhere to breathe easy’ – That Time When Anxiety Spoiled My Chance to See Heart and Joan Jett Perform. Here’s How It Happened.

Heart Joan Jett Anxiety

We may still have time, we might still get by Every time I think about it, I want to cry With bombs and the devil and the kids keep coming Nowhere to breathe easy, no time to be young But I tell myself that I was doing alright There’s nothing left to do tonight But […]

Safe in my flower box garden?

I’ve been sticking close to home lately. It helps to manage anxiety and sadness to be in a safe, comfortable space. It’s a tradeoff because I feel lonely, but my projects are doing okay – cat food drive is helping a lot of folks, Q&As are booming, and occasionally people offer to come see me […]

Anxiety Ruined My Chance To Meet Damon Young

Damon Young

It’s a beautiful sunny spring day here in Pittsburgh. Chilly, but I can get away with leggings and a light cardigan. I’m  sitting in the parking lot of my therapist’s office, listening to the oldies station and trying to soak up some sunshine – to feel some fragment of joy. I feel only misery. Yes, […]