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Content Notes: sexual abuse, enablers, stigma I published an intense post earlier this week. It was planned with care. I wanted to make specific points about the impact of grooming and programming, not vomit my entire story. It is unclear if I’ll ever do that. Yep, it is that bad. I worked with my therapist […]
CN: grooming, sexual violence, family secrets, cults, programmed,mental health, trauma As a child, I was programmed (or groomed) by my paternal grandmonster. He was a serial predator whose violent behavior was protected by the family. It is a horrific multi-generational story, one I am determined to expose to the light of day in order to […]
Content Note: mental health, bureaucracy, aging, suicide, shed building Last week. A dark and twisty series of days, events, and revelations. It was pretty rough. First … First, there’s my struggle to find a good therapist who accepts Medicare. Or will. I have private insurance now through my spouse, but I also have a Medicare […]
Its anxiety, my old friendYou’ve come to sit with me againBecause a feeling softly does creepGrabbing hold while I cannot sleepAnd the belief that was programmed in my brainStill remainsWithin the hush of silence In childhood years I walked aloneSlipping into a silent homeWatching other families from afarMy door to comfort was ajarWhen my heart […]
After the brutal murder of 14-year-old trans girl Pauly Likens in Mercer County this summer, I was struggling mightily with how to move forward with my work. The story of how this interview came to be is convoluted, but I put on my blogger hat and asked Admiral Rachel Levine, Assistant Secretary for Health for […]
I can’t decide if it’s a sign of the times or simply dumb luck. Burned the index finger of my dominant hand on the icing of a Pop-Tart fresh out of the toaster. Ran cold water. Google “wtf do I do now.” And here I sit with my finger swathed in petroleum jelly and generic […]
Pre-pandemic, I began seeing my counselor twice a week for therapy. We were starting to work on trauma and one session wasn’t enough. This was 2019. Her boss resisted. My insurance did not, so after self-advocacy, I became a woman who went to therapy twice a week. Like psychoanalysis without the cocaine or sex. I […]
This past week, I blogged about Nazis, a pet food pantry, and a loving tribute to a feral cat named Tommy. I wrote about the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette strike, posted a round up of Toys for Tots programs in 26 counties and shared some thoughts about my birthday. I also took two cats to the vet […]
Last week, I attended a town hall meeting organized by the Newspaper Guild of Pittsburgh. It was invigorating, but I had to work through some stuff to step out of my skin and into my role as a supporter. As I headed out the door to the meeting, imposter syndrome wrapped me in familiar tendrils. […]
Every time I call my friend Nikki, I ask “Are you still coming on Saturday?” referencing the (back)yardsale. She softly responds “Yes, I am. It’s okay to ask and I will say yes each time you ask because I understand what you are really asking me.” Please don’t abandon me. That’s what I’m asking. I […]
