Pgh Lesbian Correspondents

This Caturday I am sad. My pending divorce means our cats will be divided like property. Which cats remain with which human depends on multiple factors – bonds, capacity, preference, etc.

We can’t explain to them why we are tearing their cat family apart.

I may not see some of my cats ever again, a sentence that hurts deeply just to write. Choosing between them is agonizing.

My spouse trapped the first rescue, Mamma Mia, but I trapped or we trapped together the other cats. Or I was there to greet them when they arrived. Coco came one afternoon, a little sweet Siamese kitten. I picked up Kinzua from his former foster home. Witnessing their entrance to our family and household is particular intense. I remember those traps, those first contacts, and those trapping adventures.

Anticipating this rupture, I added a tattoo on my arm with a paw prints for all of my pets.It begins with my childhood pet from age five, winding through 40 cats and dogs who brought love to my life. The last paw print is little Mollie, born in September 2021. She was the last kitten/cat I trapped. No one ever asked to adopt her so of course she stayed.

I remember their gotcha days and approximate birthdays. I know who naps where every weekday. Who likes the red laser pointer. I can rattle off their names.

My hope is the court will grant shared ownership, but split physical custody. I hope if I contribute to their veterinary bills, I can visit them.

I want them to know I love them, I would never willingly leave them, and I’m doing what’s best for them.

I have a Plan B for someone to take care of my colony cats. At least I can still visit them depending where I end up. The two eldest cats (besides Coco) have to be rehomed so a friend is taking them in while I try to figure it out. They should be fine – they’ll have a window, a cat tree, and I can visit. They like to play, but also like to sleep.

That’s a big unknown – where can I live? how can I pay for it? can I bring a few cats? Unfortunately, it is all a series of last minute decisions based on alimony and division of marital assets.

One thing is for sure – even with the best possible settlement, I cannot be self-sufficient. Fortunately, people have stepped forward to support me. And to support the cats. But that’s not sustainable.

I’ll say this until the day I die – our domestic partnership should be included in the division of marital assets. It should be voluntarily included by two adults working out these details together with a genuine investment in both of us being okay. It should be included by the courts.

So I’m sitting this AM with my cats in various poses around the living room, similar to most days. The thought that my final day here is around the corner sneaks into my mind. Leaving my home of 21 years will be terrible. Letting go of the spaces and things the defined a life we built together will be hard.

Walking out of the door and leaving cats behind – even thought best for them – will definitely break my heart. The 40 pawprints reminds me of other good-byes I had to say, regrets and small heartaches.

If you’d like to help, I have a page up with lots of details and links. I’ll also be supporting the two cats going to live with my friend.

I have to stop thinking about this now.