Pride Anxiety

Pride Anxiety

Today is Pride. We had plans to go with a friend to see the parade and walk around the festival. Then the thoughts crept into my mind. Last night, I was fretting about the hill we’d have to walk up from our car to the festival. What if I couldn’t climb the hill? What if […]

My Love Letter Lost to Bitch Media

At age 51, I cannot remember a time when Bitch Media (originally the magazine, then the website, too) was not part of my day to day life. I also cannot remember how I was introduced to Bitch. It was just there in my adult consciousness. Now it will no longer be here. Bitch Media is […]

My Grieving Chronicle at Five and a Half Weeks

Birthday party idea

It has been five and a half weeks since my mother died. The phrase “and I still haven’t’ really cried” keeps coming to my lips, as if there’s a certain moisture emission density that is necessary to be a proper mourner. But it is true that I have not cried a lot, more often oozing […]

Trans People Are Relevant

Matthew Spampinato

Yesterday, a family friend of Matthew Spampinosa left a comment on this blog post about his death. I was appalled enough to draft a message in response to her, but my gut tells me she isn’t going to hear me. So I opted to share my thoughts with you. After all, just today Georgia introduced […]

And may the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.

Tomorrow will be one month without my mother in this world. That feels momentous, like a tick closer on the timeline of her disappearance from this world. A month, then two, then six, and a year. And so forth. Her birthday. Her private significant milestone dates. I’ll put them all in my phone to remind […]

GI Sue: Part Six in a Chronic Health Crisis

Sue Kerr Cats

G.I. are initials used to describe the soldiers of the United States Army and airmen of the United States Air Forces and general items of their equipment.[1] The term G.I. has been used as an initialism of “Government Issue,” “General Issue,” or “Ground Infantry,” but it originally referred to “galvanized iron,” as used by the logistics services of the United States Armed Forces.[2][3] During World War I, American soldiers sardonically referred to […]

Too Blue to Fly

People tell you a lot of things about grief – the phases, the stages, the array of emotions. They tell you about the heart-stopping-grasp that grief has in your chest, a constricting band that hurts your heart and tightens your breathing. They tell you that each experience of grief is unique, that the absence of […]

Five Tips to Comfort the Grieving

Maybe it is The Gilded Age viewing, but I have been noting some social mores and trends when it comes to mourning and grieving. First, condolences. It is not 1893. You most likely have a cell phone, email, Messenger, or a myriad of communication tools. Extend your condolences directly to the grieving person. Not their […]

Do Passive-Aggressive and Bitter Fit Into the Phases of Grieving?

I’m not a believer in neat little transitions between “stages” of grief. Grief is messy and complicated and ugly. It is not dainty moist eyes on a lace kerchief. Well it might be, but it is also heaving sobs that drown any nearby material in the angst and sorrow of a broken heart. Grief oozes, […]

All the flowers that you planted mama In the back yard All died when you went away

Pgh Lesbian Correspondents

I keep thinking about the lyric from Prince’s Song ‘Nothing Compares 2 U’ It’s been seven hours and 15 daysSince you took your love away When will that be? My mother died on Thursday February 10 at 6:45 PM. So does that mean at 1:45 AM on February 26, that grief moment will hit? Will […]