Dear David. September 5, 2020

David DeAngelo Pittsburgh

I haven’t written in awhile. As you know, my sweet little dog Ana died suddenly ten days ago. I’m still struggling with this loss. Please forgive my distance. So Wendy Bell got herself silenced on KDKA AM and very likely got herself a national slot somewhere in white supremacy conservative realms. You’ve done important work […]

This Will Get Better for Some of Us: Day 174

CN: depression, suicide I woke up this morning from that thick fog of nightmares, the sort you have to physically wade yourself free from without succumbing to the false awakenings. I pulled my groggy subconscious free from traumatic images and experiences and sat up in bed with a start. As I sat there reorienting myself […]

And I Owe It All To You – Remembering my friend, John Ruffing

Dr. John Ruffing

Dear John, It will be 12 years Saturday since you died. I’m frightened by how quickly the memorials to you are overwhelming the memories with you. I guess that makes sense – we met when I was 15 years old and struggling to figure out all of the things. I was 37 when you died. […]

One Year After His Death, I Have Unfinished Business with Kerry S. Kennedy

Kerry S. Kennedy Florist Collage

I use my Google calendar to track a lot things, but memorial dates are perhaps the most important to me. Because I don’t want to forget them, even if its sad to think about their deaths. I want to remember that they lived (birthdays) and acknowledge that their deaths were too soon and too sad. […]

Not in Kerryville Anymore

Mick Jagger flower

Grief is a tricky bastard. You are doing the most benign task, have a casual or sweet or amusing thought, and reach for the phone to share the moment. Then, you remember. The other person, in this case my friend Kerry S. Kennedy, isn’t there to read the text or answer the phone or listen […]

I Miss My Dogs

I miss my dog. Both of them, I miss both of my dogs. Amadeus died in April 2015 at the age of 13 and Alexander died in January 2016 at the age of 14. They were littermates and had been with me since they were barely eight weeks old. That’s a long time to love […]

The First Time I Called 911

CN: Discussion of suicide Write about a defining moment in your life when you were forced to grow up in an instant (or a series of instants). My mother has always lived with depression and a host of other ailments, many resulting from a childhood bout of encephalitis that destroyed her short-term memory. She was […]

Saying Farewell to a Furry Member of The Family: RIP Natasha

Pittsburgh cat

This past weekend, Laura and I had the sad task of putting our 17-year-old cat Natasha to rest. It was a decision we made together and knew was for the best, but it was still sad. 17 is a long life for a cat and for the great majority of it, Natasha had a healthy […]

Miss Mona’s Final Day

This was the year 2008. She was “fine” the day before. Well, as fine as  an 11-year-old dog with lymphoma could be. She ate, she played, she wagged her tail. She made her very special Mona sounds – low growls and whines – and she slept. But when I woke up that day, she wouldn’t […]