Pgh Lesbian Correspondents

Everyone reading this post has  experienced the search for a missing remote control. Usually this happens just as your programs comes on the air OR when you really really need to mute the sound.

We toss sofa cushions, peer under coffee tables, and try to retrace our steps. Finally, we just use the control buttons on the television itself and collapse in frustration.

I have a trick, a hack one might say.

Five or six years ago, the living room remote was MIA. I was so frustrated that I ordered a replacement. It worked fine. As you might expect, the OG remote soon emerged from a space we had searched a half dozen times, covered in cat hair and harboring a grudge. A sense of obligation made me return to this traitorous lurker and put the backup remote on the mantel.

Then we set up a new TV in the bedroom, same brand, same remote with a few modifications. Best of all, the backup remote worked on both televisions.

I constantly lose the remote in my bedroom along with my phone. I use findmydevice 2-3 times each week (for the phone) and typically find it under the bedcovers or a cat or some such obvious spot. I wished they had findmydevice for remote controls, but I understand the TV lobby has muted that legislation.

But there is a hack.

I brought the backup remote to my bedroom and within a few minutes, the main remote poked its head out from a pile of papers with a plaintive appeal to be forgiven. Backup remote went in the drawer.

Then she escaped again. After a tepid search, I retrieved backup remote and continued my viewing. Main remote crawled out from the throw pillows and snuck into my hand. Backup remote went in the drawer.

This happened repeatedly, but it took awhile for me to recognize the pattern. Main remote was threatened by backup remote. Jealousy? Professional envy? Concerns about remaining viable as technology progressed? Maybe?

I swear this works. I lose track of the remote. I search the obvious places – under the bedcovers, under the throw pillows, on the floor, and under the cat. Then I get backup remote out, praise her for being so faithful and steadfast. I continue my viewing with backup remote strategically placed for everyone to see.

It typically take under five minutes for the main remote to make itself known. I think the longest stretch has been 15 minutes.

Things got even more interesting when I inherited another backup remote. A remoter remote. Only once did the first and second both disappear, forcing me to get the newbie out and find fresh batteries. The lost ones were found huddling together desperately flashing SOS via the on/off buttons. To avoid a potential temporal loop, I very carefully monitored main remotes location for several weeks.

Last night, main remote disappeared in the middle of ‘Wednesday’ Season Two (yes, I’m behind on my streaming.) There was a mute-moment so I quickly grabbed backup remote. It took a little longer than usual, but I found main remote sitting atop my little box radio. Maybe she wants a change of tune?

After I returned backup remote to my drawer, I took a moment to check second backup remote was still there and that no little baby remotes had been conceived. All was well. I did find one of those old solar powered freebie calculators and a suspiciously fresh not-smart digital watch, but that’s probably coincidental.

A practical solution to this widespread source of anxiety and frustration is to buy a backup. They are not pricey compared to your sanity or your streaming. Designate an official place, preferably in a drawer or other defined space. Your main remote will catch on quickly.

It is important that when you find main remote, you immediately put backup remote into its resting space. Too much mutual exposure will transform envy into a conspiracy, forcing you to watch daytime talk shows or read a book while the remotes are clicking each others buttons to find a mutual frequency.

I’m not saying you ‘should’ get a second backup, but it isn’t the worst idea. The power of three?

On a more serious note, this does really seem to happen quite often. The explanation is that regaining control of the tv significantly reduces my anxiety and frustration. I relax and a part of my brain is retraces my steps since a last known sighting. Inevitably, I remember – I was standing next to the radio when I heard a cat racket, I was poking around the cat snack and medication station when I heard a cat racket. Yes, sometimes I had carried the remote to the bathroom. Shoved in a copious pocket. Tossed into my purse.

It is such a simple solution. Spend a few dollars (five years ago) to reduce my stress and anxiety, much less avoid interrupting General Hospital? Yes, please.