Why I’m Giving A Wedding Anniversary Gift To Myself

Today is the third anniversary of my wedding. Obviously, if you read regularly, you know this is a difficult day.

I decided to honor how important this is to me, regardless. My future intentions around my marriage and domestic partnership are not the same thing as the way I feel about the past 20 years (3 married, 17 domestic partnered) for good and for bad.

The traditional gift for the third anniversary is leather. I chose a compass sundial engraved to remind me that I can always find my way home. It has a leather case.

I found my way from being handcuffed and improperly locked in a psychiatric hospital to my lovely temporary home with friends who have cared for me with compassion. This will always be a home for me.

I found my way back to my actual home thanks to the courts, 2x a week, and the fine people who drive me back and forth. In exactly one month, I will return permanently and take it from there.

I found my way to a great psychiatric nurse, to my “Council of Ladies” who text by text get me through, to lawyers who are trauma informed. I found my way back to resolve a simple question from my youth and spend time near my growing up home.

I came into this world with my first home in the arms of a monster who terrorized women and children for decades. I survived him and kept dreaming about a real home.

Wherever my home is, I’ll find it. And I’ll never deny or regret the path that leads me to it.

So I bought myself this anniversary gift. It arrived in the late evening, but still in time to count.

Can someone teach me how to use a compass?



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