How Discovering My Superpowers Gave Me True Courage

I’ve been watching a lot of superhero/fantasy tv with my nephew, leading me to consider my preferred superpowers. Yes, superpowers.

I have two well-worn responses to that query.

First, I have excellent peripheral vision because my eyes protrude, known as exothalmia. One of those eyes is lazy and wasn’t properly treated in childhood so I look a bit goofy. Adults are cruel, trying to tear me down with this medical reality for their own purpose, to hurt me. But kids … kids are curious. They ask bluntly, without guile or hidden motives. And they listen before jumping to conclusions.

So, superpowers.

Long ago, I came up with the explanation that my eyes were different because I could see things typical folx couldn’t. If we had time, I’d have them test my peripheral vision. But if we did not, no matter. Kids believe in magic and power and explanations for things being different. It wasn’t hard for them to pivot from “she looks weird” to “she has a superpower.” And I’d always ask them about their superpower, had they received it yet. Tying a physical deformity to something we usually attribute to being an alien/god/attacked by spiders was a game changer.

And it eases their parents stress about the seemingly inappropriate question.

My second superpower is tied to my first – it is my blogging. I’m heading into my 19th year of blogging in December, longest job I’ve ever had (and it pays poorly.) That longevity isn’t due to my writing skills alone, nor my choice of topics. My power is that I see things differently. I see intersections, disconnects, patterns, problems, and the many tangled elements of even the simplest topic.

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And even at my lowest points, I blog. I blog about my reality, blog about the worst things that have happened to me, the worst betrayals. Because I know you have similar if not the same experiences. And we are not alone if we defy convention and say the words together.

This blog connects me to people whether they receive this post via their inbox or find the link on social media. There’s literal power in those moments, something I also experience when I read other blogs myself. Blogging used to be considered a sphere of connections, mainly blog posts, links, and comments. It was interactive and dynamic, fluid even. It was a community, but perhaps too insular.

Today blogs are more outward facing, relying on social media threads over comments to engage the community. I spend hours sharing content, forging those connections.

If I had to pick an actual superpower, I’d be tongue-tied. The anxiety of such a decision would overwhelm me – flying? invisibility? strength? healing? Maybe the truth is that these aren’t just super powers, they are grounded in human experiences. I’ve had them all in some iteration. Picking just one is impossible. But I was fortunate enough to find my superpower and that even at age 53, I can continue to wield it for good.