Yesterday, I received an email inviting me to set up an Amazon Influencer page via my Twitter account (@Pghlesbian24) which apparently is pretty sexy with all of you 7,430 followers. You know who you are. <wink emoji> This is my full disclosure.
So I now have my own page where I recommend items that I like with a brief 250 word review. I going to earn percentages if you buy these items. I earn a lower percentage if you buy a tv (2%) than if you buy dog food (8%) which is fine by me because I would never suggest you buy a tv online.
Dutifully, I went through my shopping history for the past several years, adding items that I buy often enough to have an opinion. I eliminated holiday gifts, special occasion items, and things I bought for other people such as donations.
So my Influencer list looks pretty much like you’d expect from a middle-aged cat lady lesbian – a muumuu, several types of cat/dog food, no-slip socks in neon colors, topical analgesic, and herbal tea.
I was tempted to add cat litter, but you’ll get a better deal at Target. I actually did an experiment over the holidays where I ordered cat litter online from Target and Amazon. Target did a much better job for a lower price.
So I can tell you how much I truly love Amazon prime (especially since we bought our new tv in a retail store) and suggest you consider subscribing. And you’ll see this
We both <3 The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Should you spend $99/year to have access to it and free shipping? That’s your call.
It did occur to me that my sudden windfall of affiliate link bountiness MIGHT be due to the fact that I live in Pittsburgh. Could Amazon be trying to woo me and you, dear readers, into a state of retail satiation that will cause us to turn a blind eye to silly things like tax incentives and non-disclosure agreements?
Did Amazon realize that this blog – named after Pittsburgh, helmed by a daughter of at least eight generations of Pittsburghers, and located conveniently near the T and the big enticing tract of land on the Northside – might be a key to a successful negotiation? Do they already have their eye on buying our house+3 vacant lots to dangle before a young executive who wants to bike to work, but give his future children a yard for their playtime (watch the broken glass, kiddos)?
Could it be that Amazon is concerned I subscribed to Hulu during my hysterectomy convalescence? Do they realize that the power of The Golden Girls is strong in this region and regret that Norman Lear won’t just sign over Archie Bunker, George Jefferson, and Fred G. Sanford to satisfy our plebian urges? Note: George Jefferson is not plebian, but he was plebian as he liked to tell anyone who would listen. So they want to lure me away from Hulu and back to a world where Nazis won the war, and Cow Cow dresses never go on sale?
Maybe Amazon knows that I’m sitting on a HQ2 secret that could ruin empires and bring down kings? OK, I could call someone out on a lie in public and embarrass them, but whatever. Pittsburgh is a forgiving town. We may scowl at the miscreant who cozies up with the Trumpians, but they’ll get a solid 5-10 years to actually pack up and head out-of-town before things get ugly. After all, we went to high school with their mother. Hey, West Mifflin and McKeesport didn’t vote for a Black woman – #BlueWave, everyone!
In the interest of full disclosure and transparency, I’ll be sure to remind you that the links are affiliate links and not embed them in words like yarn for no reason whatsoever. Also, I received no tax write-offs, no tickets to sport ball events, and no escorted trips to the Turks & Caicos.
So if you want to buy some stuff, cool. It will help pay the #AMPLIFY bills. I’ll add to the page. I’ll reshare the link occasionally, maybe put it in the side menu.
Here it is again.
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