The 44 Year Old Bridesmaid

I’ve never been a bridesmaid. I’ve been the lector (the person who reads during a Catholic Mass) many times over, but never a bridesmaid.

Don’t get me wrong, this has its advantages. I can wear whatever dress I want, I often was included in the pre-wedding festivities and my outlay of cash was minimal. But it was also a little sad to never have this rite of passage. For the record, Ledcat has twice been a bridesmaid and tells me repeatedly that I ain’t missing nothing. I figured that no one wanted a 44-year-old bridesmaid and that my time had passed. Always a lector, not a bridesmaid.

Until today.

Today, my good friends “The Sarahs” were married here in Pittsburgh in the 20th year of their relationship. Present in the magistrate’s office were one set of parents, one sister, two sons (7 and 3) and us – the bridesmaid and best woman. I finally had my moment in the sun – a bridesmaid at age 44. Then we went to Eat n Park to have a celebratory dinner with her parents.


No readings, just beaming smiles and lots of photos. No dress, no butt bows, and no uncomfortable shoes. My escort was the best woman and we were both nattily attired in shades of purple of our own choosing. I say nattily because I wore purple leggings paired with my favorite black boots.

My favorite moments

  • Organizing a bachelorette party at the local Cambodian restaurant and actually managing to surprise both Sarahs as well as watch the PTA moms get a bit tipsy at the lesbian party.
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Bachelorette party (note the sash)
  • 3-year-old Elijah looking up at Judge Hugh McGough in his magisterial robes and asking him if he had a wand. Elijah thought he was Harry Potter.
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The Judge unintentionally gestured as if he had a wand (it was an envelope) and I caught it on film
  • 7-year-old Josiah diving under the chair to retrieve the wedding band his younger brother had just casually tossed aside because the box was more interesting. #RingBearerFail
  • One of the brides running up to us in the parking lot because they needed $42.50 in exact change and didn’t have singles. I found $2.50 in my giant middle-aged lady tote bag that I carry everywhere I go. They mock my bag, but I usually have change. And gum. I SAVED THE WEDDING.
  • Elijah borrowing my bridesmaid sash and my mini-tiara so he could be a Princess (his word) then watching him gallop around the table at Eat n’ Park in pure ecstasy practicing his princess wave (plus, sneaking glances at the other diners.) His wave is awesome.
He’s a bridesmaid princess.

The best was this – amazing how we take for granted the simplest gesture such as holding hands.

Same Sex Marriage Pennsylvania


Congrats to two of the best friends I’ve ever had and to one of the greatest families I know. It was an honor and a privilege to share this very special day with you. And thank you for indulging my little fantasy – that’s what makes us family of choice after all, sharing the love.

Same Sex Marriage
The happy family

P.S – Nope, no plans for us to wed as of yet. But Sarah took all of 90 minutes as a newlywed to start trying to convince us to join the gang. Ha.


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  • Sounds like a perfect day and so glad you got to experience being a bridesmaid to your friends. I have been a bridesmaid and Maid of Honor many times, and you got the true spirit of the honor without the dramas that can pop up. Much happiness to the couple!

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