Well, it has been awhile since I wrote a letter to you – 35 years? How is everyone? I have to admit that Rankin and Bass have confused me as to who actually lives at the North Pole (Mrs. Claus changes her hairstyle quite a bit, depending on the holiday special.) I really hope you are working in tandem with Snow Miser and Heat Miser – those guys put Christmas specials on the map (no offense to Rudolph.) And it certainly makes me feel like you are down with the LGBTQ community.
So my Christmas list for 2012? See, I do celebrate Christmas but I want to be careful to acknowledge that many of the people I love and respect have other traditions and I am confident that you are fine with that. After all, you are pretty much the high priest of cultural diversity for a white straight guy – every culture has a Santa!
My “big” requests are a bit out of reach for our budget. See what you can do please.
First, I’d like you to visit the Congressfolks working on the Farm Bill. The Ghost of Christmas Future might be helpful – they need to see what America looks like in five years if they slash funding for SNAP (food stamps.) We both know that cookies once a year don’t keep a body and soul going, right?
Second, I’d like to know I can’t be fired because I’m gay. Many people don’t understand that this can happen. I’m confident you have a thorough non-discrimination policy. But since no nation has jurisdiction over the North Pole – I wonder if you might sprinkle a little “common sense” dust and get us an Executive Order on this equal rights issue, followed be a delightful main course of ENDA (Employment Nondiscrimination Act) to protect all of us.
Third? Well if Heat Miser and Snow Miser could find common ground – do you think its possible in the House of Representatives? If Mother Nature has some time, she might want to drop by the Women’s Caucus and chat about how she laid down the law with the stubborn boys. I don’t necessarily have an issue, just some concrete sign that bipartisanship can happen – even if for just one Christmas mirable (but preferably for many.)
Fourth is a little more close to home. You are an expert on alternative transportation and you definitely put in long hours behind the wheel, er reigns. So I expect you have some wisdom to help us here in Pennsylvania make public transportation sustainable. We need a guide to help us run those buses right. Your a working man and a corporate executive after all – who better to help all these factions settle down and dedicate some funding?
Finally – Merry Christmas, Santa. And thank you.
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