Day One, Year Two: My Obligatory Anniversary Covid-19 Anniversary Post

Covid-19 Anniversary

On this day in 2020, Laura worked her final full day at her office with the City of Pittsburgh, came home and began to set up her home workspace in our kitchen. She’s in that workspace right now, working. This is what we consider our demarcation of the COVID-19 pandemic quarantine. This is day 1, […]

A Mental Health Milestone For Me

This is more of a post for me than you, dear reader, but you can read along. Today, I had a teletherapy session and we did some EMDR targeting a difficult closing to my work with the Catholic Church in the 1990’s. It was difficult because they were just awful and terrible and immoral to […]

Of Pandemic Anniversaries: Part One

While I expected the “anniversary” of the pandemic would be sobering, I did not anticipate the emotional wall I would collide with this month. For the most part, we have had a relatively fortunate time during this horror. Our income didn’t change, we could work from home, we had lots of streaming services, access to […]

Both of my parents have COVID-19

Last week, my brother contacted me to let me know. He had authorized requesting hospice for them. They live in an assisted living facility here in Pittsburgh. They have a myriad of underlying conditions, ravages of lives hard lived and filled with tragedies. Of course, they end up both contracting an international pandemic causing virus. […]

On Day 227, I Turn 50 Years Old

I wrote this in 2018 My therapist told me that I may just have to endure my birthday each year, that I may not ever find the peace and comfort Iā€™d like to have. It is too deeply connected to my own experiences of chronic trauma. It is not just depression or anxiety. It is […]

The (dis)comforts of turning 50

Comfort comes from feeling engaged and accepted by others. As I approach my 50th birthday, I naturally have been reflecting on well my 50 years of life. This past year has been a doozy, My 19 year old cat Simon died a few days after my 49th birthday. I had to end my relationship with […]

On Day 194, I’m Edgy

Content Note: sexual violence That’s an understatement. On Monday, I’m planning to use EMDR tools to begin working on some new information. The world is on fire, but I’m sticking with the plan. The new information isn’t actually new – I have attachment challenges, not the least was due to bonding with a substitute caretaker […]

My First Doll

Content Note: sexual violence, assault, intergenerational trauma, child abuse I still have my very first baby doll, a rag doll named Mary. She sleeps in a cradle that was originally a wooden planter. She lived on a relatives dresser for many years and I finally inherited her when that person moved. I’ve written before about […]

Q&A with Therapist Matthew Reinhart About Trauma During a Pandemic

Trauma

How are you doing? I feel the weight of the world so I reached out to some experts on trauma to offer some insight into navigating our personal challenges, our encounters with the anti-maskers, and more as queer people. These are really long reads because the topics are intense and novel (couldn’t resist.) I hope […]

Depression and leaving me home with the dog

Content Note: depression, bipolar disorder, trauma The past few days have been rough as I struggle through this depression. Very tough, painful and scary tough. The sort of symptoms where other people walk away because my pain and anguish are so big. And I can’t blame them. It is like these intense feelings are pounding […]