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Since 2013, I have reported on the violent deaths of at least 365 transgender, nonbinary, and gender nonconforming peoplem with such grief. I’ve also reported on the deaths of members of my LGBTQ community in Pittsburgh, members of my own family, and friends. More grief. All in all, there are over 430 posts in the […]
February is coming around the bend quickly. I’m so determined to just not think about ‘those things’ happening this week that I keep pushing myself to find something, anything, anything at all to anticipate in February. Tears roll down my face, my face so intently clenched thinking of what could be good in February. It […]
All week, I’ve been loading donations for The Dr. John P. Ruffing VMD Pet Food Pantry into my borrowed Land Rover that we’ve dubbed St. Gertrude or Gertie. She contains multitudes of cat food. Now,there’s no interior light so I bought a head lamp. I added a USB port to the cigarette light – oh […]
One week since I returned home. Spent most of it balancing settling in against new routines. I still have a few boxes to unpack, but I’m mostly done. During my cats visits, I intentionally sat in the spots tied to the police executing the 302 warrant. I sat on the floor where we talked. I […]
I didn’t know ‘dread’ is a clinical symptom. The difference between anxiety and dread is that anxiety is an unpleasant state of mental uneasiness, nervousness, apprehension and obsession or concern about some uncertain event while dread is great fear in view of impending evil; fearful apprehension of danger; anticipatory terror. So my spin through last week took me down a dark path […]
Content Note: Alcohol, depression, death, grief In 2015, a woman named Heather completed the AMPLIFY Q&A and she caught my attention. This response in particular has stayed with me all of these years later. What motivated you to take part in this project? I don’t talk about this part of my life a lot, and when […]
Today is Pride. We had plans to go with a friend to see the parade and walk around the festival. Then the thoughts crept into my mind. Last night, I was fretting about the hill we’d have to walk up from our car to the festival. What if I couldn’t climb the hill? What if […]
At age 51, I cannot remember a time when Bitch Media (originally the magazine, then the website, too) was not part of my day to day life. I also cannot remember how I was introduced to Bitch. It was just there in my adult consciousness. Now it will no longer be here. Bitch Media is […]
It has been five and a half weeks since my mother died. The phrase “and I still haven’t’ really cried” keeps coming to my lips, as if there’s a certain moisture emission density that is necessary to be a proper mourner. But it is true that I have not cried a lot, more often oozing […]
Yesterday, a family friend of Matthew Spampinosa left a comment on this blog post about his death. I was appalled enough to draft a message in response to her, but my gut tells me she isn’t going to hear me. So I opted to share my thoughts with you. After all, just today Georgia introduced […]
