On Day 227, I Turn 50 Years Old

I wrote this in 2018 My therapist told me that I may just have to endure my birthday each year, that I may not ever find the peace and comfort Iā€™d like to have. It is too deeply connected to my own experiences of chronic trauma. It is not just depression or anxiety. It is […]

The (dis)comforts of turning 50

Comfort comes from feeling engaged and accepted by others. As I approach my 50th birthday, I naturally have been reflecting on well my 50 years of life. This past year has been a doozy, My 19 year old cat Simon died a few days after my 49th birthday. I had to end my relationship with […]

Sad Birthdays and Separation From My Mother

Pgh Lesbian Correspondents

My birthdays are sad. I fight this each year. I pingpong from frenetic planning for lots of autumnal things to despondent hopeless nothingness. It is exhausting and feels like something so primal in my psyche that I cannot escape. And that dramatic sentence reflects my post-birthday emotional reset. My plan is to work out via […]

My Friend John Should Be Turning 50 Today

Dr. John Ruffing

He wouldn’t want a fuss. He didn’t liked being fussed over. More than likely, he’d want solitude and not be particularly thrilled to turn 50. He would definitely not want to me to write (another) blog post about him. “You have to move on, Susie,” he would admonish me. “Stop living in the past.” Past […]

Happy 50th Birthday Ledcat!

We can’t believe she’s 50 either! This blog would not exist without her support, help, encouragement and patience during the past 7.5 years – and her occasional actual blog posts. This is a sample of photos she’s graciously posed for to use as blog content. šŸ™‚