They value me more when I am literally diminished or why I’m not talking about my unexplained weight loss

Sue Kerr

t I’ve been keeping something from you and most people. I’m struggling with ongoing symptoms related to a potential GI disorder. That’s not the piece I held back – I’ve written about those experiences. The part I haven’t mentioned is that I’ve lost 25 pounds since the spring. <waits to see what you say> <– […]

The Opposite of Abandonment

It was an early fall evening when the light lingered in the promise of chilly weather. My brother and I escaped the schoolbus and ran down the hill to our family home as fast as we could. I was in 3rd grade so 7 years old. My 5-year-old brother was in 1st grade. The house […]

Autoimmune Dysmotility and Me

Last year, I found a doctor who finally believed me. She believed I was always low grade nauseated, I was typically not hungry, etc. I was miserable. She sent me for bloodwork and scheduled other tests. The bloodwork contained a marker suggesting I might have a GI autoimmune disorder. Then, pandemic. She thought I might […]

Sick

Sick

This past week, I’ve been sicker than I can remember. Spoiler warning – it is (likely) tonsillitis. I was grumpy a week ago Monday and Tuesday, chalked it up to the impending house painting we had planned for this coming week. I thought it was anxiety and was disappointed with myself for not handling things […]

One Year Anniversary of Pittsburgh MasQue ProjecT

Today marks one year since Lyndsey Sickler and I spoke the Pittsburgh MasQue ProjecT into existence. Dramatic, perhaps. But this year has taught me that it is up to us to save ourselves. We are the calvary. Mainstream institutions haven’t shown up or acknowledged the realities of our lives during the pandemic, especially media outlets […]

COVID-19 Vaccine #2 Side Effects Have Sidelined Me

Got Moderna shot #2 on Tuesday. Wednesday was rough, but not awful. Thursday much worse. Friday feels awful already. I know this is not a prelude to actual illness so I will just ride it out. I have no energy to explain details, but I wanted you to know why I’m dropping balls. I haven’t […]

Day One, Year Two: My Obligatory Anniversary Covid-19 Anniversary Post

Covid-19 Anniversary

On this day in 2020, Laura worked her final full day at her office with the City of Pittsburgh, came home and began to set up her home workspace in our kitchen. She’s in that workspace right now, working. This is what we consider our demarcation of the COVID-19 pandemic quarantine. This is day 1, […]

A Mental Health Milestone For Me

This is more of a post for me than you, dear reader, but you can read along. Today, I had a teletherapy session and we did some EMDR targeting a difficult closing to my work with the Catholic Church in the 1990’s. It was difficult because they were just awful and terrible and immoral to […]

Of Pandemic Anniversaries: Part One

While I expected the “anniversary” of the pandemic would be sobering, I did not anticipate the emotional wall I would collide with this month. For the most part, we have had a relatively fortunate time during this horror. Our income didn’t change, we could work from home, we had lots of streaming services, access to […]

Both of my parents have COVID-19

Last week, my brother contacted me to let me know. He had authorized requesting hospice for them. They live in an assisted living facility here in Pittsburgh. They have a myriad of underlying conditions, ravages of lives hard lived and filled with tragedies. Of course, they end up both contracting an international pandemic causing virus. […]