Pgh Lesbian Correspondents

I need $750 to pay for historic house appraisal. I need your help to raise it.

Today, our lawyers met with the divorce hearing master to review facts. 

One thing to note is that we filed a tort for damages last month in Civil Court and it has been moved to Family Court and combined with the divorce proceedings. So the damages from the involuntary civil commitment will be part of the settlement whether that’s a negotiation or a full trial. Basically, this streamlines things. That was our plan or our hope I guess. We’ve been working on it forever it seems.

We might as well learn about the legal system as we walk together through this process.

I can’t let go of the trauma and harm from that weekend – being homeless for 196 days, not knowing why any of this was happening, fear for my lack of funds, fear of being forever destitute, anxiety around the police, not being able to ride in a car driven by a stranger ... all of these deprivations that weren’t part of my life before 2023. None of that should have happened. I refer to this as the ‘decommitment’ – see what I did there?

But as a show of good faith, we agreed to put this part of the case on hold until after the November hearing. 

Divorces are complicated. My focus is ensuring I am not cast out of an 18 year relationship without housing or the means to provide for myself. Isn’t that everyone’s focus: self-preservation? 

I’m not a worn out rag doll or an old sweater to be handed off to someone else. I deserve to be treated with dignity, respect, and fairness.

Our next step is to arrange for a historic home appraisal. There are four points in time – purchase, date of domestic partnership, date of marriage, and date of separation. I’m genuinely curious about that information. How do they asses? How do they tell the difference between say 2007 and 2017?

This is a pretty standard part of a divorce. It is complicated – as is everything – by our history as registered domestic partners who married after 2014. 

But it will cost me $750 and I could use your help with this. 

The next step will be a second meeting in mid-November to review the data we’ve gathered. Whatever is or is not agreed upon will go to a hearing with our judge. 

I wake up each day with the fear of being homeless and destitute in the back of my mind. I have zero housing options as I laid out in a recent blog post. I can’t increase my income. I have no local family. I have good friends, but this is a hard way to live. I have a lot of comforts and joys, but there is that faint apprehension winding through my brain. I’m glad I have a good lawyer. But legal fees are … woah.

I’m reliant on justice and fairness from the courts, then decency and compassion from my friends and supporters. It shouldn’t be this way after 18 years in a mutual committed relationship. I should be able to stand on my own feet. But permanent long term disability status makes that impossible.

The house appraisal will help us get more clarity on the relationship assets. A solid step forward into the unknown.

Will you help with this specific cost? $750.

• GoFundMe bit.ly/HelpLGBTQBlogger
• Venmo @Pghlesbian
• Paypal.me/Pghlesbian
• Cash App $Pghlesbian
• Zelle sitnscoop@gmail.com

Thank you. All I can do is keep asking and continue to thank you.