Pgh Lesbian Correspondents

You can read the backstory here.

Thanks to donations after the last update, our small goal is down to $112.

Our next step is to arrange for a historic home appraisal. There are four points in time – purchase, date of domestic partnership, date of marriage, and date of separation. I’m genuinely curious about that information. How do they asses? How do they tell the difference between say 2007 and 2017?

This is a pretty standard part of a divorce. It is complicated – as is everything – by our history as registered domestic partners who married after 2014. 

But it will cost me $750 and I could use your help with this. 

Will you help with this specific cost? $289 $112

• GoFundMe bit.ly/HelpLGBTQBlogger
• Venmo @Pghlesbian
• Paypal.me/Pghlesbian
• CashApp $Pghlesbian
• Zelle sitnscoop@gmail.com

Thank you. All I can do is keep asking and continue to thank you.

Someone asked me what happens to any addition donations – oh don’t worry, there will be legal bills for months if not longer. Discovery will start around the holidays (we think) and that means filing fees, court reporter fees, deposition costs, subpoenas, and oh so much.

I do not understand how average folx mount any legal defense. Or keep their sanity in the midst of legal stuff – I understand why people use battle language b/c OMG, so much rigidity and hardness and tread the narrow path carefully and rules, rules, rules. I am grateful for the kindness and decency of the people in the system who weave compassion and comfort between those rules.

And let’s not even discuss the impact of the Executive Branch on Federal Courts – I have an active case in the United States Court of Appeals for the Third Circuit. That’s an entire different level of complication. And some fear on my part.

I don’t mean to be jaded, but justice and truth and honor and fairness are all measured in dollars and cents. There’s no closure or accountability or answers – how could there be? A court can compel detention or payment, but not words – not explanations, not apologies, not sincere ones at least.

I’m not saying any one actor is a bad apple or broken or unethical. It is the system itself that is not at all what the typical person expects. And given that most of us enter it unexpectedly with little time to prepare, that expectation is just shattered while you are running to remortgage your house or empty your IRA or figure out what to do to navigate a system you never knew existed.

All of my lawyers have told me that accountability, justice, fairness, even truth can only be measured in terms of money. Nobody cares about the fact that I love all of my cats, outside and inside and want to care for them through their natural lifetimes. That I have a legal and ethical obligation to do so. Nobody cares about preserving the life I’ve built over 54 years. Maybe its too strong to say they don’t care so much as they can’t care and also do their jobs.

One truth that seems absolute in civil cases – money talks. Maybe it don’t sing and dance and it don’t walk. But if you can’t afford the fees and costs and charges, you’ll get nowhere. That’s why people like me will beg and plead for help. We have no other option except to give up.