A Lesbian Weekend

I have been stricken with that most awful of beasts .. the summer cold.  I've literally been in bed for most of the past 48 hours with a giant pack of tissues, a brown paper sack (thanks Office Max newspaper insert) and an unending supply of Gatorade.  Today, I decided to pull myself up the stairs for awhile so here I am.  If in fact, some huge gay news had happened I would have caught it on KDKA as that is the only channel we get upstairs and i was forced through all three hours (plus, the noon broadcast) yesterday.  I just couldn't write about it.  Yes, I know about Karl Rove.  Ding, dong and all that good stuff.

It was a nice weekend at Lesbian Central.  We had ice cream (yum), stopped by The Vault for iced tea (more yum) and I scored three books at the library (just in time for sick days).  I told The Vault guy about the “lesbian-friendly man vibe” designation and he was very down with it.  If a tee shirt is made, I get free iced tea for life.  Life, baby.  Then we met a fabu guy (Hey, James) at the Body Shop at Ross Park.  Plus, I had steak which I so never do.  I wonder if that's what made me sick?

Sunday was awesome — our friends, LuLu and Sas, invited us to go kayaking.  We met up with them and their groovy friend Hercules at the kayak place in Perryopolis.  I was very intimidated at the prospect of rolling upside down and getting stuck in the kayak, but once I assured myself that the opening was wide enough to allow for underwater escapes, I was ready to roll.  To our dismay, we were trapped on the transport vehicle with a party of 22 yinzers replete with cases of Pabst Blue Ribbon, wizened sun-worshipping women and lots of authentic retro tee shirts.  Thankfully, no one had on a Borat “suspender thong swimsuit” but then again, I wasn't looking too closely.  My favorite part of the transport (in a school bus!) is when the driver raced the train to the crossing.  Mind you we are in a school bus, pulling a big trailer with at least a dozen canoes and kayaks.  Ah, welcome to Fayette County.

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Kayaking was fun.  Watching drunken yinzers literally dump their trash into the Youghiogheny River was not.  I personally picked up three beer cans (1 unopened), a sandwich wrapper, miscellaneous paper, and two types of dipping sauce containers from Subway.  Then at our rest stop, I swam halfway across the river to recover soggy hohos so the fish wouldn't die on the plastic.  Sas did some impressive swimming as well.  Ledcat scooped up crap.  LuLu and Hercules were kept busy saving me when I flipped my kayak.  Three times.  Rest assured, the yinzers took the time to save the bottle of vodka they accidentally toppled into the water.

My least favorite moment was finding the smoulding fire.  I was a Scout. I knew we had to put it out which took awhile.  I reported it and the chick at the desk laughed in my face. 

So kayaking fun.  Hazelbaker's Canoe Rentals and Crap not such a classy outfit. 

I'm starting to cough nonstop so back to bed for me.  Don't tell Ledcat I wrote this.  By the time she reads it, I'll be better. 


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