Pandemic Depression

Content Note: depression, suicide, racial injustice I’m depressed. Yes, in the existential dread of a pandemic sort of way. Duh. But my three week bout of hypomania turned the corner into depression. I am grateful to be moving through my symptoms toward a stable mood, but depression ain’t fun. The transition was bumpy. I bounce […]

Welcoming Depression

Content Note: depression, mania, These past few days of hypomania have been brutal. I had an appointment with my psychiatrist and two appointments with my therapist. We decided to increase one of my current meds, understanding it won’t kickin for a week. I just could not relax or feel anything but tension. For three weeks. […]

Saturday hypomania during pandemic

Content note: bipolar disorder, hypomania, alcohol, pandemic Saturday, I woke up very early again, struggling to breathe. Lots of fire pits roaring these nights so the air is heavy near our homes. I grab my inhaler and sore throat spray to quiet the coughing. I fall back asleep after lots of breathing exercises to keep […]

Bipolar hypomania during a pandemic

I’ve been hypomanic for nearly two weeks. My therapist knows, my psychiatrist knows, my partner knows. Most importantly of all, I know. I know why I feel this bad, I’m not in denial. I’m not enjoying the creative edge. I’m not resisting treatment. But I’m already in treatment and on medication. They may be able […]

The Destructive Creativity of Hypomania

I am what some call bipolar. Bipolar is not a respectful way to describe my disorder or identity. I have bipolar disorder. I live with bipolar disorder. It is part of me, but shortening a diagnosis to a single word is not efficient or effective. It’s just lazy. Don’t describe anyone as ‘bipolar’ I was […]