Processing Trauma of Childhood Hunger

Last week, my therapist and I picked up with EMDR to process more trauma. We intentionally defined a period of my childhood that was brutal, 1979-1983, or the years of 4th to 8th grade. Historically, EMDR has been quite helpful with my lesser traumas and anxiety. The hard stuff hasn’t cooperated and we’ve respected that. […]

Fazing my therapist

My childhood sucked. I knew it then, I know it now. I’ve been working with my current therapist for over four years. She specializes in trauma processing and we’ve spoken at length about some of the atrocities in my life. But with all of her experience, it is hard to faze her. Until this week. […]

Sled Riding the Pipeline in West Mifflin

Sled Riding in the 1970s

And though he never would wave goodbyeYou could see it written in his eyesAs the train rolled out of sightBye-bye In this cold snap, I drive to my cat colony even though it is faster to walk. Not so much faster now sliding on the snow and exerting myself to get the gate unlocked and […]

Let the record show that I spoke up for Susan Kerr and said that what she endured was not okay

Sue Kerr

Content note: trauma, child abuse, generational dysfunction, childhood sexual violence So I’m not attaching or bonding with my parents, I’m developing a ridiculously unhealthy dependency on a horrific abuser. And no one talks about any of this because they don’t have the skills to do so. Welcome to 1972. “How much do you love me?” […]

The Xmas When I Grew Up Too Fast

Content Note: childhood, family dynamics, shame When I was either a little girl about 5 or 6 years old, I wanted a baby doll that wet its diaper for Christmas. This was somewhere between 1975-77. I was quite thrilled when Santa brought me that doll. It wasn’t quite as fancy as some of the other […]

The extra bff

When I was a child, the other girls in my neighborhood were firmly cemented into best friend pairs – Amy & Julie, Laurie & Darlene, Sherry & Meg, etc. My role was to be a back-up friend. Sometimes, I was included in group activities. Sometimes, I was called upon if the BFF was unavailable. And […]

First Daze of School

Pittsburgh Elementary School

It’s back-to-school time: do you love the start of school or dread it? Living, as I do, in a family with no school-aged children, no children at all and no one attending school, my feelings at best are mired in nostalgia and too many hours on Facebook. Ahem. My original thought was to make a […]

Mr. Rogers Was My Hero

When you were five years old, who was your hero? What do you think of that person today? My hero at the tender age of five was Mr. Fred Rogers. I started kindergarten at 4, turning 5 in late October. According to my mother, I would rush home from my half-day of education to flop […]