Includes homage to The TIng Ting’s “That’s Not My Name”
The owner of the Oakmont Bakery sent me an email that perfectly illustrates the#OakmontBakeryEffect This song is monotone – more clueless white male privilege treating a woman as if I need to be schooled and corrected.
Hi Kim,
I own Oakmont Bakery, and I wanted to share a few details with you. I would prefer the opportunity to sit down together in person so you can walk away with a clearer understanding of who I am and what I stand for — if you’re open to that.
I’d appreciate the chance to explain some of what I believe in and what I’m passionate about. A coworker shared your blog with me regarding José’s story. After reading some of the assumptions about what I’ve supported and my intentions over the years, I simply want to share some facts with you.
So my name is not Kim. Not even close. There’s no one at my blog named Kim. I’m not aware of any local bloggers named Kim. I do know of a journalist named Kim, but to my knowledge there’s no intersection between us. That’s not my name, Marc.
This opening is pretty typical mansplaining bullshit. “I just want to talk” is never a good look and certainly not when you carry on with the whole conversation in the rest of the email. Not even a single question about me. Seriously. Who taught you composition? Or communication?
Also, I don’t give a fuck what any MAGA person is passionate about. Rather, I already know. That’s been made quite clear this past year.
Consider your hand played, Marc. Here’s my response.
To begin with, I have never supported a politician or political party in my life — something that can easily be verified through public records. I have never publicly stated my political leanings, and I only discuss politics privately with my wife, children, and close friends. Quite honestly, I don’t believe either party truly cares about me, my family, or people like José.
Many people point to the unannounced visit by Eric Trump during the 2020 presidential campaign, often referring to it as a “rally,” which is simply not accurate. I did not organize, invite, or support that gathering in any way. We learned he was coming roughly 30 minutes before he arrived. Because it was during the height of COVID, and after my son noticed Secret Service agents inside the bakery, I asked if he could remain outside in the parking lot due to social distancing concerns. That request was declined. I later learned that I could have refused entry, but at that moment, it was overwhelming, and I did not fully understand my options.
What many negative posts fail to mention is that Governor Wolf, Senator Jay Costa (a friend), County Executive Rich Fitzgerald, and Representative Joe McAndrew (a friend) — all Democrats — have also visited Oakmont Bakery. Each of those visits was scheduled in advance and included tours of our facility. In contrast, both J.D. Vance’s and Eric Trump’s visits were unannounced, brief, and limited to the public retail area. To be clear, I do not refuse entry to anyone unless they pose a threat to my employees or customers.
Marc, where do I begin?
If you don’t think either party cares about you (or immigrants), why are you friends with so many Democrat politicians? Why do you let them use your business for photo opps?
The bit about Eric Trump and JD Vance is a unmitigated bullshit. A business owner who doesn’t know that he can refuse service to anyone is not a very good business owner. If you have so much experience with white male Democrats arranging tours of your bakery, wouldn’t you know the basics – like how to decline?
You can say ‘no’ Marc. Clearly, you don’t say no. If you are not invested in either party, but you set up these spontaneous or well-planned out political tours – there must be something in it for you. Money? Good press? Do you put photos on the wall of you shaking hands with these folx? You name dropped them in this message as if it would impress me. It has not impressed me.
Marc, no one believes you aren’t MAGA. You can deny as much as you want, you can waive your voting stubs, you can parade your diversity hires and your Democrat buddies, you can throw a parade and pelt an inflatable Donald Trump balloon with pink pussy cupcakes and whistles. We aren’t going to believe you. Lying about being MAGA is a core MAGA value.
Rachel Maddow says “watch what they do, not what they say.” So do the decent things, it isn’t hard. Like maybe befriend or at least offer a tour to some politicians who are maybe women or people of color or disabled or queer or so forth.
To be clear, Marc, JD Vance presents a HUGE threat to your employees and customers. You let him in. Don’t blame me or others for pointing our your choice. Take some responsibility.
Regarding José and his family — I was truly shocked when he was detained. I believed ICE was targeting only criminal immigrants. José is a hardworking, kind man who brings positivity to my business. My son and I have supported his family since he came to Pittsburgh, roughly 16 months ago.
I never intended for that situation to become public because I have several other immigrant families navigating similar legal challenges, and I did not want to draw attention to them or their status. Despite rumors, all my employees have proper documentation to work in the United States.
The core difference between you and me, Marc is that I do not think anyone deserves to kidnapped by masked government Nazis regardless of their status. I don’t think criminals deserve that. People don’t earn their rights in America by working hard or appeasing the micro oligarchs. That’s how authoritarian regimes control people – be one of the good ones and you’ll be fine. Also, immigration status violations are civil matters.
I also don’t believe you were truly shocked. Because you are clearly not stupid. You’ve stood by while over 70,000 of your neighbors across this nation – including Oakmont and nearby communities – have been detained, often violently, often without cause, often without their Constitutional rights. And you thought they were all criminals?
ICE detained an average of 175 children per day, over 600 in one South Texas facility alone – and you thought they were criminals? Since mid-September, emergency crews have been dispatched to Dilley at least 11 times to treat children in medical distress, according to EMS call logs and 911 audio obtained by NBC News.
Arguing that your employee is one of the good ones is horrific. I am so very grateful he has been freed and I find no fault with his famly for seeking your help – I would move heaven and earth, dance with the devil to save someone I loved from ICE. But you go home knowing your circle of family and friends won’t have to worry about detention. Mr. Flores is free, but that could change. It could be his wife or family members or neighbors. His freedom doesn’t change this systemic violent government. But on with the baking.
No one that I’ve seen has ever claimed your employees immigration status was not clear or in compliance. No one cares. You don’t get brownie points (see what I did there?) for hiring people legally. You are supposed to do that. But you aren’t supposed to crow about it.
No one thinks you arranged for Mr. Flores to be abducted by our government. We objected to the abduction.
Even writing this email makes it about you, not your employees – not even the good ones.
We also employ many people from the LGBTQ community, and I believe (hope) they feel respected and valued here. I do not single out any groups because my goal is to support all people, regardless of their beliefs or life choices. As a Christian, I believe Jesus embodied love, and I do not believe He would approve of anyone (or group) being marginalized or treated unfairly. I see it as my responsibility to help people placed in my path.
I believe one reason our bakery has been blessed is because we use our resources to help others.
Did you just play the “I have a gay friend” card In the same paragraph with a Jesus reference? This tells me you are not even remotely queer and trans literate. Hiring queer people does not offset being MAGA. Lots of queer folx work for MAGA employers because they need jobs. The liberation of trans and queer people is inextricably bound to the liberation of every single person abducted by ICE, et al.
José previously held a leadership position in a bank in Nicaragua before the government eroded its democracy. His wife was a government employee and law student. They fled out of fear for their safety. My support for them — and for others in our bakery family — has never been about notoriety, although I believe being forced to discuss it publicly was a leading?g factor in José’s release. It has always been about doing what I believe is the right thing to do.
How does a government erode its democracy? Oh wait, I think I know …
To be honest, I’ve been curious how you got him released. I highly doubt being ‘forced to discuss it publicly” was the key factor. People ‘talking publicly’ about the roughly 70,000 people mentioned above hasn’t freed them. It didn’t work for the children. That’s ridiculous. Obviously, you did something else – pulled a string, called your political buddies – do you know Senator McCormick?
But saying you had this degree of power to free people, why did you stop with him? If you had the key to helping a dozen or a hundred or 70,000 victims of government abduction – wouldn’t Jesus want you to do that? Isn’t helping the two month old baby with RSV in an ICE facility more important than writing an email to me, er Kim?
I hope we can meet in person. Sometimes, a simple conversation will clear up many misunderstandings.
Sincerely,
Marc
You mean like your misunderstanding of my name? That doesn’t require a simple conversation – it requires caring enough about our possible interaction to get my fucking name right. Or maybe you want to render me invisible as a unique person as part of your attempt to silence me?
Trust me, Marc, I’ve been one of the interchangeable white women bloggers long enough to know this. Get in line with those who tell me quiet girl, but I’m a riot grrrl.
There’s no misunderstanding, Marc. This song is monotone. I’m not going to ever sit down with a self-aggrandizing MAGA zealot to discuss anything. You are not the first white man to try to persuade/manipulate/coerce me into changing my mind. And you won’t be the last.
Sometimes I think about the image of Mr. Flores returning to his home, driven by you. You took a selfie, wearing your bakery jacket, with a man who had just been through hell. Why? It wasn’t a proof of life scenario. He looks exhausted, but we all know he owes you everything now and I’m sure would never deny you anything. In that moment, it was up to you to do the morally correct thing to do and you failed. You should have driven him home without fanfare.
Shame on you for using that moment.
I’m not going to publish that photo, but I will link to it.
You also cried and whined to the media, claiming people were threatening your baked goods and the people who make them. Where’s the evidence of that? You decide to center yourself by going public about the fallout for your bakery instead of the impact on your neighbors.
Marc, you aren’t the victim or the hero in this story. You are a middle-management Nazi-propping Christo-fascist.
Jesus didn’t bless your business, then turn away from Liam Ramos.
Jesus brought tens of thousands of people into your life via the news and you deny them. At least 70,000 times.
The thing is, Marc, I keep wondering why you put together this email to Kim? What do you want from me? You have money, ‘notoriety’ as you put it or respect, and the blessing of Jesus. Why do you care what I think?
Obviously, you know I would never meet with you or you wouldn’t have played your cards in the email. That’s a tired trick – force me to read your profound thoughts while pretending to be on equal footing. Why do you care what a lesbian blogger has to say about you and the #OakmontBakeryEffect? Are you sending me a message to back the fuck off? Is there a threat in there? A power play? It feels more white male privilege than overt threat, but you can’t be too safe these days.
What I suspect, Marc, is that this is simply another bit of optics management for you. Perhaps my post struck a nerve with people whose opinion you value? Or whose business you value? Are you envious of my social media following? My fondness for the Giant Eagle bakery? Do you not like mouthy women who call you out?
You reach out to me with faux sincerity about meeting so you can say “Well, I tried to reason with her, but she’s <insert a four-letter word>” If you can’t get me along, you’ll mock me.
It has all been done before.
I won’t break bread with you, Marc, but I will share a few tips
- Use the right name
- Use the same font in your salutation, body, and closing when you cut and paste an email.
- When you invite someone to meet, throw a little detail – a phone number, a lunch or dinnertime, a location, anything really that suggests you actually want to meet
- Don’t invoke your gay employees. Ever.
In all seriousness, Marc, now you know that ICE is abducting tens of thousands of people in direct violation of the democracy you seem to value and the teaching of Jesus. Meeting with me isn’t the answer, Marc. You need to meet the moment and do something for the least of them. And keep doing it.
I wonder what Kim would think?
Coda: I didn’t write this for Marc Serrao. I have zero expectation people like him are going to evolve or try to do better. I wrote this for me. I could have just deleted the email. But I am exhausted and angry, I’m disgusted and appalled by the #OakmontBakeryEffect. I have my lanyard, my box of whistles, my Instagram feed, and my fear. It is not enough.
Pittsburgh should not continue to give MAGA or Nazis a pass. That’s our historical play and in the long run, they win. Here’s a shortcut to determine if you succumb to the #OakmontBakeryEffect – do you still shop at Target? Yes or no.
What’s likely to happen next, according to Kim, is that friends, employees, and the good people of Oakmont will descend on me here and on social media to defend their baker. I’ve been doxxed, cancelled, TERFd, threatened, harassed, humiliated, and smeared by lots of people.
But Kim and I are still blogging …
