Pgh Lesbian Correspondents

This weekend, a friend gifted me with a new laptop.

They bought it for me when my previous laptop died. I’ve been using the previous-previous laptop to that one, but it is a hot mess after years of churning out blog posts and social media content. It still works well enough compared to the one that doesn’t work at all. But the drop off in my blogging is directly tied to the laptop issue.

They gave me a laptop because, to paraphrase, they value the work that I do – as a blogger and a community organizer. It is an investment in that work and in me.

I am going to write a blog post about the history of my laptops – scintillating stuff, but worth putting on the record.

It is hard to keep asking for help. In fact, it has been two and a half years that I’ve asked you to help me with my legal and living expenses. I’ve already shared the reality that I’ll wind up homeless because of limited housing resources that are going to be more limited.

Being 55 years old and realizing I’ll never be self-sufficient again is a bitter pill to swallow. I don’t want to be a minor character in a Bronte novel. But here I am.

As hard as it is to constantly ask for financial help, far worse is the experience of asking for friendship. It is a lot to ask anyone to walk with you down a (so-far) two and a half year trauma. To offer support and encouragement, to understand trauma, to listen. And truthfully to understand that things will be one-sided quite a bit as I thrash through this still unclear next phase.

You might think “A friend gave you a laptop, why are you complaining?” Two things can be true at one time. I can be so grateful for the many kindnesses and support while also feel alone. I’m worried that two and a half years is a long time, with no end in sight. I’m worried about losing touch with people because I’m too much. I’m struggling with new trauma emerging and having to explain it over and over. I’m worried about when the end is in sight.

I worry why those friends stopped calling or messaging me. My deep fear is that my trauma triggers theirs, consciously or not. And mine isn’t going away anytime soon.

So I’m setting up my new laptop while looking ahead to blogging and pet food pantry and other 2026 work. I hope to feel less alone soon.

I do need your support. I made a payment to my lawyer to replenish my retainer. It was $3000. I have some filing fees to cover, I now have to pay a monthly subscription for a court ordered communication app, little things piling up to wipe out my funds. Oh, and the oral dentist – very big sigh.

So if you able to contribute a little bit, I will continue to be grateful and feel your support in the months ahead.

• GoFundMe
• Venmo @Pghlesbian
• Paypal.me/Pghlesbian
• Cash App $Pghlesbian
• Zelle sitnscoop@gmail.com