Pgh Lesbian Correspondents

It was 20 years ago that I became an aunt for the first time when the eldest nibling was born. I remember that day like it was just yesterday. I love all the niblings, but there’s something unique about the one who teaches you to be an aunt and the youngest who puts all of those lessons to the test.

My favorite memory was a few days after her birth when she came home and was given her first bath. We had been doing cat duty and had arranged for supper. In she came with great fanfare and up she went to the second floor bathroom, an innocent thing who had no idea what indignity she was to endure.

Then it came – the bloodcurling scream as water flowed over baby skin and baby was not pleased. I wasn’t upstairs because I was doing cat things and really you don’t need a pit crew to bathe a baby. So I saw firsthand the cats go from indifferent attempts to get the sushi to WTF? in about ten seconds. Heads turned, tails went up, there was scurrying and hiding and some howling.

I just smiled and said “Welcome your new overlord, kitties.”

She changed the whole world that one day.

When she was four, the whole family went on a Gateway Clipper trip with her grandmas and her little brother and all of his paraphernalia. As we disembarked, her mom had her brother and Dad had the paraphernalia. She said “Pick me up” with that absolute entitlement only a preschooler can rock. She stood there with aunts and grandmas sort of unsure what to do, I realized no one could actually lift her. So I did. I carried her to the car while she talked about the boat and the fireworks and such.

Everyone said “Oh she can walk, you don’t have to carry her, just hold her hand.” I ignored them because carrying her safely anywhere was a great honor. She weighed far less than a big bag of dog food after all.

I hope she knows that I didn’t walk away. I was left and she was part of the fallout. Maybe someday she’ll be curious about the way her life has intersected this blog. Or curious about me. Maybe not. I will always hold a place in my heart and my life for her, but never intrude on hers.

But my eldest nibling taught me to look for cool green and yellow clothing to avoid gender conformity, to listen carefully when stories and secrets are entrusted to me, to be honest that I wasn’t going to keep secrets that might harm her, the concept of a kid’s appetizer (nope), the importance of selfies, the fun of using social media, the horror of having your aunt buy scrunchies in front of your friends, the power of music to connect generations, bravado, and so much more.

Happy birthday, kiddo. I wish I could show you my tattoo.