Tag Archives: second parent adoption

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When Do We Talk About Poverty in the LGBTQ Community?

It is only fitting that days after Amazon releases an “inclusive” commercial for their new Kindle, I am led to a series exploring the lives of transgender persons living on the brink (or deeply enmeshed in) poverty. The cause? Often related to their gender identity, especially in a fragile economy.

“Transgender financial struggle: ‘How We Get By’” offers six snapshot profiles of trans men and women who are coping with the economic consequences of transitioning in the workplace (and health care.) The profiles offer an important glimpse into the lives of LGBTQ men and women who are not necessarily homeless or living with addiction (although one woman profiled is homeless.) Most have (or had) careers, college educations and more privileges that did not buffer them to ugly bigotry and simple discrimination (notably the healthcare inequities.)

The fact is, the “myth of gay affluence” is reflected nicely in the Amazon commercial – white, attractive, gay married male couple who can afford a beach vacation are the ones most likely to afford a spur of the moment purchase of a $125+ electronic gadget because of the glare of the sun. And that’s fine. I would personally move to a shadier spot. Or read an actual book (no glare.) But then again, I don’t have that kind of money to spend on a whim. Or a gadget.value all families

It is a commercial intended to sell a product, not a documentary about the LGBTQ community. So it is what it is and that’s fine.

Dr. Gary Gates from the UCLA School of Law’s Williams Institute published a 2009 study that refutes the myth. And it is worth revisiting. Note that the study focuses on same sex households, not transgender households so the findings while extrapolated to the LGBTQ community as a whole are certainly not conclusive about the trans (or queer) community.

It turns out that lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals (LGB) are actually more likely than heterosexuals to be living in poverty. Further, one in five children being raised by same-sex couples in the United States lives in poverty, giving further insight into the legal and economics difficulties LGB parents face.

The true is that both things can be true – members of the LGBTQ community who have other types of privilege (race, gender, socioeconomic status, etc) can offset the economic impact of being openly LGBTQ. Nothing new about that – it makes complete sense that well educated, white, middle class gay men and lesbians (and probably bisexual men and women) can attain a degree of financial security. Some of them (us?) at least. And it makes sense that the growing mainstream acceptance of LGBTQ people translates into a marketing niche.

The trouble is that we can lose sight of those who don’t have these advantages. It makes equal sense that LGBTQ persons of color or those who come out later in life or those with children are likely to face economic hardships – hardships exacerbated by their identities. Consider:

  • The costs of being a same sex couple without access to marriage – from the expense of the legal paperwork to the tax burden on domestic partner benefits. Thousands of dollars not being poured into the economy. 
  • The cost of a second parent (or both parent) adoption as well parenting decisions made around second class status – finding a “good” school district (aka safe for LGBTQ families), family activities and again the tax burdens. The list of expenses could go on and on.
  • The potential economic risk of being openly LGBTQ in a workplace where there are no job protections. Beyong losing your job there’s the emotional toll (therapy!) of living with that over your head. And again benefits.
  • The nightmare of accessing entitlement program to offset the loss of a job or second income. Try applying for food stamps when you have your partner’s income, but no federal recognition of your relationship beyond roommates. Or turning to faith based safety net programs. Or the increased likelihood that your family supports are more limited.

There are probably a disproportionate number of middle aged LGBTQ individuals who are very much “gay affluent” but it behooves everyone to be mindful that job protections & immigration protections & yes, even marriage equality, offer concrete solutions to the rest of us.

 

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Do You Understand What Happened This Week With The Obama Administration and LGBT Equality?

I hope you have been paying attention, but it is tremendously complicated.  From FireDogLake

The Obama administration on Wednesday decided not to move forward with an executive order prohibiting workplace discrimination among federal contractors that is a top priority for the LGBT community.

“While it is not our usual practice to discuss Executive Orders that may or may not be under consideration, we do not expect that an Executive Order on LGBT non-discrimination for federal contractors will be issued at this time,” a senior administration official told The Huffington Post. “We support legislation that has been introduced and we will continue to work with congressional sponsors to build support for it.”

The decision is a blow to LGBT activists who had huddled with administration officials at the White House earlier in the day to discuss the status of the executive order. That meeting featured White House senior adviser Valerie Jarrett along with officials from the Human Rights Campaign, Center for American Progress, National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and other groups.

This is a serious blow. This would have established protection for LGBT persons in their jobs – a lynchpin to equality. Yet, the Administration won’t take action. And no one has a concrete reason that resonates.

Now I had dinner last week with someone – an educated, bright person – who genuinely thought this was in place. In fact, she seemed to think that because the President had offered domestic partner benefits to some federal employees (not all), that included anyone who worked for the government. I tried my best to explain that it doesn’t work that way, but frankly — its complicated to explain.

And its disheartening to be the one who constantly bursts the bubble of LGBT folks who sincerely believe that they have certain rights.

Another example was a recent adoption by a same sex couple that I know. This did not take place in Pittsburgh so it was disconcerting to realize that technically, they had no legal definition to describe their nearly 20 year relationship. There is no “domestic partnership” in the eyes of the law, no common law marriage, no nothing. In Pennsylvania, a lot of people don’t even realize there’s no legal status as “separated” … you are single or you are married. The person with whom you cohabitate is either your spouse or not. That’s it.

It also stunning to realize that the judge could simply stop the second parent adoption. Period. There’s no statutory law or administrative code ensuring unmarried couples of any orientation can adopt a child together. The judge has to waive Pennsylvania law. The reason we have second parent adoptions is that Pennsylvania court basically said if the state permits straight unmarried couples to adopt, they have to permit gay couples. It is a legal precedent, not a law.

People don’t realize this. They often don’t believe me when I bring it up. And that denial is very dangerous.

Because there are forces at play in Pennsylvania government who don’t think you should have the right to adopt, that you don’t deserve domestic partner benefits, that you should be able to access life insurance and death benefits. And if you aren’t paying attention to these incremental steps – like executive orders – you might be lulled into not taking them seriously.

Yes, they can put a stop to second parent adoptions. They can simply don’t allow anyone to adopt who isn’t legally married. It happens with international adoptions all of the time. It is that tenuous, my friends. Who is going to defend your family in the face of that possibility?

The President who won’t protect you if your employer is being contracted by YOUR federal tax dollars?   Really? You sure he’s got your back?

I think he’s pretty sure he’s got your vote, my friend. And he’s not particularly worried what you think or how your family experiences life in the US until after November 2012.

I realize I’m conflating state and federal policies, but my point is that our alleged allies are pretty weak-willed. Obama has some good stuff on his record and I’m not suggesting you vote otherwise. But I would suggest that a campaign donation might be better invested in a candidate who isn’t willing to wait for our equality. Or an organization in the trenches battling for your rights and the rights of your children.

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