Get (a load of) Marty!

Professional concern-troll and police gossip-monger Marty Griffin. Photo via Twitter
Professional concern-troll and police gossip-monger Marty Griffin. Photo via Twitter

So, let me see if I’ve got this about right: the Pittsburgh police apparently have a transgender cadet in the police academy. I’m not sure if zie identifies as male or female, or even if they identify with the gender binary.

Under the guise of expressing concern about this person’s safety — but in fact, pretty transparently trying to gin this up into some sort of “scandal” for KDKA-TV’s geriatric audience — professional concern-troll Marty “No Facts” Griffin staked out the police academy.

Marty, it should be noted, loves to traffic in Pittsburgh police bureau gossip. It never seems to matter if it’s actually newsworthy — if it amuses Marty, it’s fodder for both his breathless TV reports and his daily three-hour AM radio self-congratulation fest.

I’m sure  the idea of a transgender police officer — holy crap, what a world we live in, amirite? What’ll they think of next? — amused the hell out of Marty just as much as it annoyed the crap out of whichever one of Marty’s police tipsters fed him this “scoop.”

Which begs the real question — from whom does a transgender police cadet face the most possible harm, the public or hir fellow officers?

Anyway, Marty used his famed investigative reporting skills to track down an expert in transgender issues — none other than a cisgender white male who’s widely disliked in Pittsburgh’s transgender community, Gary Van Horn of the Delta Foundation and Party-Throwing Society.

Golf-clap.

Luckily, there’s pushback already.

Reports like Marty’s “scoops” are a big reason why I don’t watch the local news any more. Instead, I keep the TV off until the “M*A*S*H” reruns come on at 7.

Which gives me an idea: New at 11—Transgender soldiers in the Korean War! Marty Griffin has the shocking story of a Toledo, Ohio, native who wore skirts on the front lines!

I smell a regional Emmy in this one, Marty.