Tag Archives: Spirit Day

Guest Blog Post: I’m wearing purple today, and so should you.

Editor’s Note: This week, I’ll be sharing guest blog post from folks who identify as allies and what that means to them.

Jeanne Clark blogs at Everyone’s Entitled to Jeanne’s Opinion (where this was first published) and at Ms. Magazine.

Today is Spirit Day, a day for everyone to take a stand against bullying and to support LGBTQ youth, who are so often the victims of bullying. And you can show your support by wearing purple.

I’ve always thought one of the worst aspects of any kind of discrimination is that the victims are the ones responsible for confronting and eradicating it.

Seriously, think about. When you are discriminated against, you have less power. And that means you start from behind.So you are always fighting an uphill battle.

But when others join your fight — when people who are not the victims of discrimination take on YOUR fight — it gets easier. And eventually, it gets better. Because it snowballs.

More voices join in pointing out how wrong discrimination is. More voices object to demeaning jokes and images. More voices speak up for what is right. And the voices of intolerance and bullying either get converted, or get quieter.

I know it can be scary. Confronting anyone is hard, and it is especially hard when it comes from people in authority. It might be a teacher. The captain of the football team. Your family. Or even an elected official or a candidate.

The first time that I, as a public figure, was attacked as a lesbian, I had already been confronting discrimination for years. I was running for public office at the time. LGBT rights was a key part of my platform. I had a track record of fighting against bigotry. I was one of the founders of Cry Out! which eventually became Cry Out/Act Up! I had coordinated media outreach for the March on Washington for LGBT rights. And I was working as part of a core strategy group to add sexual orientation to the Pittsburgh Human Relations law.

Of course, I had been “Dyke-baited” before, but it was mostly by anti-abortion, anti-ERA picketers who believed devoutly in harassment. But when it came during a campaign, from one of my opponents in a part of the community that had a reputation for being hostile to the LGBT community, I was unprepared.

How could I stand up for my core beliefs, yet also not pretend to be something I was not? How could I keep faith with the LGBT community at the same time keeping faith with my heterosexual marriage and the husband I dearly loved? I couldn’t disavow my lesbian sisters, nor could I disavow my husband. And I had to answer the attack without doing either.

As I got up to respond, it hit me. This was bullying, pure and simple. And it was an attempt to force me off my message, onto the defense, and perhaps out of politics. And I finally knew deep in my soul what every young lesbian, gay man, bisexual, and transgender student felt everyday of their lives.

So I stood up. I took a deep breath. And I spoke out.

“I doesn’t matter what my sexual orientation is. But my opponent’s question reveals a lot more about him that it does about me,” I said. “Because he’s a bully. And he’s a bigot. He is trying to distract you, and make you afraid. Because he thinks appealing to fear and bigotry is a way to win elections.

“He may be right, but I sure hope not. And I think that you, the voters, are smarter than that.

“Don’t vote for me because you think I’m straight. Or because you think I’m a lesbian. I want your votes, but more than that, I want us to leave bullying and name calling behind, and support and love all of our family and friends, gay or straight.”

The room was quiet when I finished, and no one clapped. But it didn’t matter. I was at peace with myself. And that night I had a very small taste of the horrid behavior too many LGBT youths have to endure. And I knew how very important it was for allies to speak out forcefully.

So join me in wearing purple for Spirit Day. If you’ve never spoken out before, it’s a great first step. And it’s the least you can do to put an end to bullying and bigotry.

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Guest Blog Post: The Enemy Is Us

Editor’s Note: This week, I’ll be sharing guest blog post from folks who identify as allies and what that means to them.

Maria Lupinacci blogs at 2 Political Junkies”

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Most of us like to think that we are good, moral people. That we would intervene if we saw an injustice occur. We would step up if we saw someone abusing a child or an animal, We would call 911 if we saw a group victimizing a person. We would vote against an unjust law. We might even protest an unjust war. And, that should be the easy call. What seems to trip us up is the really personal stuff: how we react — or don’t — to the words and actions of friends, family and co-workers.

When I was a child in the 60s or 70s, I had relatives who thought nothing of dropping the N-word, repeatedly. There was no problem with men referring to grown women as “girls” and laughing at the very idea of women being equal to men. All that still exists — I am by no means saying we are in some sort of post racist or post sexist society — but at some point, that sort of easy, blatant racism and sexism was no longer considered proper in polite society. People at least learned to censor themselves to an extent. Politicians knew they’d be called out on it (they prefer the ever popular dog whistle these days). We at least have a veneer of “tolerance.”

But not so much with with anti-gay sentiments. And, the most popular shield these days against criticism is religion. We are all supposed to respect someone’s religious beliefs. But, what if those beliefs trample on our own rights or try to negate our very being? As a woman, my reproductive rights are constantly under attack these days because of the religious beliefs of others. Similarly, LGBT rights — to marry, to adopt, to even exist in some countries — are under attack.

If the very mention of the word “lesbian” will block you from going to a website on some intranets, if holding hands in public with your significant other is seen as a controversial act (“flaunting it”), if wanting the same recognition and benefits for your spouse in every state is worthy of a massive negative campaign and objecting ballot initiative, if it’s OK for others to object to someone’s very being as being an affront to their own religious beliefs, how can we not be surprised when anti gay bullying and violence still exists?

Religion was used in the past — and sometimes still is — to justify overtly racist and sexist views and actions. It cannot be tolerated now to justify an anti gay agenda. Nor can anti gay sentiments from the casual joke to the outright attack be tolerated. If we don’t call out our family, our friends, our co-workers, our online buddies on the this when it happens, we are not allies, we are not friends — the enemy is us.

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Guess Blog Post: What Tribes Are You In?

Editor’s Note: This week, I’ll be sharing guest blog post from folks who identify as allies and share what that means to them.

Christpher Whitlatch is the Manager of Marketing and Communications at The Pittsburgh Foundation. We met via Twitter and have gone on to connect across multiple social media forums.

It is important to be who you are.

In 5th grade on class picture day, I told my mom I wanted a “true” photo of who I was. So, I donned my retainer, my glasses and my favorite shirt. My mother always supported and encouraged my quirkiness. On this occasion, she also counseled me that be careful as some might not understand this and treat you differently, maybe even bad. I was stubborn and she appreciated that in me so off I went to schools as I wanted. Here’s the photo:

My class thought nothing of it. Some would say I was lucky that my classmates accepted my uniqueness. But, take a look at the class photo:

We are all unique and that is a great photo. All of our differences, personalities, character traits, socio-economic classes are all on display. I don’t think I ever took a better class photo.

The celebrated writer, Sherman Alexie, was asked what it is like to live in two worlds (Native American and White). He replied, “I belong to 10,000 tribes and so do you.”

Your political party, your religion, your gender, your beliefs, whatever – those are only a few of the tribes you belong to. When you recognize that you can be open and honest and accepting of others tribal affiliations and respect their uniqueness just like my 5th grade class did for me.

Sue Kerr asked me to write this as an ally. And, I am. I’m also a friend. A supporter. A cheerleader. And, I hope so much more for her because it is important that she is who she is. Who are you? I bet we share a tribe somewhere.

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Guest Blog Post: Bullies are Jagoffs

Editor’s Note: This week, I’ll be sharing guest blog post from folks who identify as allies and what that means to them.

Our friend Yajagoff Catcher from YaJagoff website weighs in and sums it up nicely.

A few weeks ago, fellow social media-ite and new friend, Sue Kerr, let us know that, based on her online opinions, she was being bullied. Well, bullying was a “kind” word for what was happening. This wasn’t just someone threatening to give her a wedgie at recess. This was someone using nasty slurs and threatening to harm her physically.

It’s 2012 and this stuff STILL goes on? Actually, it appears that this stuff may go on even MORE due to an increased number of people expressing their opinions on the internet. And, when another person opposes that opinion, behind the mask of a silly profile name like “Cute Kitty” or “Sloppy Dog,” the “opposer” uses slurs or phrases like “How about if I come over there and beat your ass!” to get their point across instead of posting opposing research or check-and-balance questions to challenge the author’s opinion.

Even one of Pittsburgh’s most popular and opinionated social media personalities, Hutch Bailie, Jr. of Burgh’s Eye View, commented on behalf of Sue via the Pittsburgh Blogger’s Facebook page:

I’m glad nothing serious came of it Sue. You and I have had some heated discussions and I hope those don’t fit into this category. Politicians and media types have done a real good job of polarizing the nation with accusations of racism, misogyny, class war and homophobia in damn near every speech or news hour.

And we are glad that no harm actually came to Sue as well. But it sucks that she had to endure tension and seek legal help because of such a…. well.. we’ll get to it…

Sue even took our own blog to task on a few opinions. And, while we may differ in opinion, we certainly didn’t threaten her.

No idea what goes through people’s minds that make them think it’s ok to bully or even threaten violence over a difference of opinion. But what we DO realize is, most hateful opinions come from ignorance or a lack of understanding or even TAKING the time to understand the other person’s opinion.

So to Mr. I-Have-No-Idea-How-To-Express-An-Intelligent-Opposing-Point-of-View-Without-Showing-My-Muscles-or-Without-Showing-My-Ignorance-Through-Threats-and-Derogatory-Slurs, Halloween is coming up. Most reports are that Obama and Romney masks will be the most popular. However, we heard that a mask of a Social-Media-bigoted-Bully will be popular also. And we hear that the mask company is on their way over to take a mold of YOUR face to manufacture this new mask, Ya Jagoff!

Editor’s Note > While I have had differences of opinion with Hutch and YaJagoff, it has never deteriorated into any sort of uncivil behavior. We’ve been able to talk things out either privately or in public forums and simply agree to disagree. The fact that Hutch acknowledged the situation speaks volumes about people with different views getting along.

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