Tag Archives: Melissa Etheridge

Melissa Etheridge “Pittsburgh Pride Showed Me The Money”

Dear God, I’m going to get reamed for focusing on this quote, but seriously …

Melissa Etheridge made her Pridefest debut in Pittsburgh this month and it was apparently a terrific show, but my skepticism was confirmed by a  quote she gave to PG music editor Scott Mervis:

She repeated that she played this fest, not ones in LA or New York, because Pittsburgh “showed me the money.” It’s hard to say she didn’t deliver.

Now, I do not hate Pittsburgh Pridefest. I volunteered for three years when I was on the board at the Gay & Lesbian Community Center. I have attended most years – even staffing a booth for a former employer. I was out of town this year so I missed most of the activities, but I did promote them using social media. So let’s be clear – I think Pride is important if not the most important part of Pittsburgh’s LGBTQ community.  But its not a sacred cow and anyway, my issue is with Melissa Etheridge not Pridefest per se.

I’m a little skeptical about Ms. Etheridge given the terrible way she’s treated her ex-wife Tammy Lynn Michaels. Supporting marriage equality means supporting divorce equality and Melissa is not doing anyone favors by trying to wiggle out of paying Tammy an equitable portion of her net worth. We can party in the streets all we want, but screaming that you support marriage equality while ignoring your marital obligations is bullshit.

Her quote about “show me the money” made me laugh out loud and pretty much confirmed my impression that she’s a rock star first and gay activist probably like 10th or 12th.

Does it matter? Eh, my only concern is that every penny she received is a penny that doesn’t go to the local LGBTQ service providers (I know there was a small fundraiser for Persad, people!) as we face significant slashes to the human services and health budgets by the Corbett Administration.

Are we “priding” beyond our means? Well, probably. It would be interesting if some third party were to research the net worth of Pridefest – how many people register to vote, how many sign up for email lists, how much is raised in donations, how many dogs are adopted, etc. A sociological study, Dr. Lombardi?  Measuring the “pride” factor would be difficult – how do you assign a value to the sense of belonging someone feels – I remember my first few Pridefests.

I don’t think the size and wow factor of Pittsburgh’s Pridefest is an indicator of anything substantial. The way we treat the most vulnerable persons in our community is the best indicator of who we are as a community and in the coming months & years, we’ll have ample opportunity to prove we are one of the leading LGBTQ communities, not just a leading Pridefest City.

I gotta give Melissa credit – she lays it out there. And with two ex-wives and four kids to support along with the lack of a recent hit record, she probably needs to be shown the money. But let’s not pretend she’s a crusader. She’s a rock star and that’s just fine.

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Melissa Etheridge Headlines Pittsburgh Pride Activities; Does It Matter That She’s a Bad Wife?

Rumors have been circulating, but today the Pittsburgh Pridefest organizers confirmed that Emmy winner and openly lesbian Melissa Etheridge will be performing at “Pride in the Streets” the Saturday event of Pridefest.

I like Melissa’s earlier music and I have a lot of respect for how gracefully she walked through her battle with breast cancer. But I also think Melissa has been a pretty old school white male rocker when it comes to her wives <ahem> So I’m sort of pondering this from a little different point of view than most.

Now I understand that the entertainment industry is filled with people who basically suck at being in responsible, mature relationships. LOL. Its the hallmark of Liza, Judy, Debby, Liz, et al. And you can’t swing a walking stick without hitting an ex-wife/girlfriend of a 60′s rocker a la Mick Jagger, Rod Stewart and well pretty much everyone. Even Sir Paul McCartney has three wives under his belt.

So does it matter that Etheridge continues the “bad boy” routine by having children with and then discarding her female partners? Should it matter to me? Well, actually the reason I care is made pretty artfully by Etheridge’s ex, Tammy Lynn Michaels who is being excorciated for seeking an equitable settlement in the dissolution of their relationship.

AE: OK. A lot of people are criticizing you for not being able to live on the $23,000 a month you’re currently getting. 
TM: [I] gave up the job that was $25,000 a week, not $23,000 a month. I gave up $100,000 a month.

AE: Which show was that? 
TM: Committed, with the late Tom Poston. Another season would have put me at $30,000 a week. In my mind, based on that percentage of raise increases, I’d theoretically have made $30k by fall of 2005, $35k per week by fall of 2006, $40k per week by fall of 2007, all the way up to $65K a week by now.

But [Melissa] wouldn’t take off from her music stuff to allow me to do TV or movies. She implored me to be home. I hate to think, “Oh, I gave up my career,” because you know what? That would subtract from how much it meant to raise the kids.

AE: That math assumes a lot – Committed only ran for one season. Instead of lost wages or whether $23,000 is more than enough to live on, I’m wondering if it’s really about percentages. If Melissa is making almost $178,000 a month, as you say, then $23,000 is only about 13% of that. Straight wives would seek 50% of their husbands’ income, and many would get it, no? 
TM: It’s the law. When we were together, there were a lot of things said and shared between us. And a lot of things were promised. I’m standing here saying: “You wanted to fight for gay rights; you wanted everything to be fair. You wanted to stand up for all of us? Because now I’m an ‘us,’ the gays that wanted to have gay rights and equality and not look like dip s–ts.”

I think Tammy deserves her fair share of Melissa’s income and I certainly think Melissa should part with more than 13% to support her family, either of her families. Sigh.

So while this is sort of cool, I’m a bit skeptical why someone who at one time would have sold out Consol Energy Center no problem would play for a few thousand people on Liberty Avenue?  Does that make me a bad lesbian or a bad Pittsburgher?

Well, no. It makes me someone who thinks equality is equality. Melissa isn’t high on my list because she conducts herself like a privileged jerk and that doesn’t sit well with me. We are struggling for inches on the spectrum of equal rights and she’s shirking her family/legal duties.  Can we shut up and enjoy the music? Well, sure.

The question is whether we should.

Nonetheless, my quibble is with Melissa not with Pride. They’ve had all sorts of colorful characters in the past so this is certainly not a controversial choice. It will draw in attention and perhaps get some people down to Pittsburgh who might not otherwise attend. And that’s a good thing.

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