Tag Archives: allies

LGBTQ&A: John – Blogger, Ally, Caller-Outer of Jagoffs

An occasional series where we pose some questions to local LGBTQ folks (and Allies) to learn more about their personal experiences with LGBTQ culture.

John and friend good naturedly participated in a project I organized.

Jagoff Photo

I met John a few years ago when his (super awesome) blog, YaJagoff, called out someone for parking in a spot reserved for persons with disability. We had a heated but cordial exchange about the issue of hidden disabilities and I was very impressed with John’s sincere interest in learning about other people. He may call out jagoffs, but he is also open to rethinking assumptions AND admitting when he jumped the gun. John is the ally we want in our corner – loyal, open to knew ideas and willing to go to the mat when it counts. John just posted a excellent piece about abusive adult bullies and made a point to show that not all athletes are homophobic assholes.

And, as with many of these features, John’s story and self-awareness around meeting the first LGBTQ person in his life is simply humbling.

Name. John

Affiliation: Creator of Ya Jagoff.com (hobby), Co-Creator of OutreachU (real job)

Tell us about the very first LGBTQ person you met and what that meant for you. The very first LGBTQ person I met was an upper classman.. I was in 7th grade and he was in 8th grade. This was in Catholic School which makes things REALLY interesting because, being in a religious school, you would think that there would be the utmost compassion for any of “God’s Children.” But juxtapose that with the era, 1970’s, unfortunately, the young man took a fair amount of verbal abuse from others.. me included unfortunately. I think back on that often and how my views have broadened and how now, I would be scolding/educating my own child for doing that.

How do you stay informed on LGBTQ issues? I currently try to read the posts by Susan Kerr when I can but, prior to meeting her, I mainly took in what was covered by the mainstream media and through my own LGBTQ friends.

What is the most important issue facing the LGBTQ community today? I’m not sure that I am qualified to answer what the most important issue is from INSIDE the LGBTQ community. But as an outsider, I would say the biggest issue facing the LGBTQ community is contributing to “stereotyping.” This is something that I talked about with Sue. As the LGBTQ outreach continues, providing more and more examples that they are not outcasts or menaces to society, I think they have to be careful, to NOT provide examples of the “stereotype” that gives the extreme phobics fodder and the on-the-fence phobics, or “quiet accepters,” reason to NOT be more openly accepting. This is no different than in the straight community where, I would not want a straight person phobic stereotype getting on the media and providing extreme anti-LGBTQ views and the general public thinking they represent me.

If you could wave a magic wand and change one thing in Pittsburgh’s LGBTQ community, what would it be? It would probably be related to my previous question… in no way would I ask anyone to be “normal” or be like everyone else. On the other hand, while I want my kids and my peers to know that they should be accepting of everyone that is different, it can be difficult if some are representing the LGBTQ as the stereotypes that often are held out as fodder by the phobics.

Secondly, while I think Pittsburgh, in general, is becoming less parochial, I would like to wave that magic wand to try and get all people, straight, LGBTQ, various races to be more tolerant and accepting of others that are different that themselves.

Past or present, favorite LGBTQ character in television, film or literature? Not sure if this really suffices as a “character” but Charles Nelson Riley was a riot on game shows.

What is one simple thing a reader can do to support the LGBTQ community? Tolerance

Thank you, John.

You can follow John via Twitter @YaJagoff or like his page on Facebook

And be sure to visit the YaJagoff website.

Please share this content.

Buffer

Share on Tumblr

Pgh LGBTQ Vigil – The Wrong Straight Man?

More than 100 people turned out Wednesday for a vigil following the final day of argument on marriage equality before the Supreme Court. It was freezing and rainy/snowy and basically not a fun time – but it was still great. The crowd was diverse, the signs were fun and I’ll let the photos speak for themselves.

The disappointing moment(s) of the evening were spurred – somewhat ironically – by allies, three white straight men who used their status as City officials to “occupy” some microphone time at the expense of their opponents in the crowd. This is the abuse of privilege when it most hurts – wielded by those who profess to be strong allies.

Equality is equality. It doesn’t mean you get to be on the podium and silence other candidates – also freezing their tushies off in the bitter cold – because your day-job makes you more equal. It means you play fair and not abuse the entire concept of the event – equality – because you have white straight male privilege and an election to win. It means you WALK THE WALK. Sadly, they took advantage of a powerful piece of LGBTQ history and used it to their own advantage.

This was not about 501c3 status – because where were the female candidates? What about people of color? What about bi and trans speakers weighing in on marriage equality? Is the City only employing straight white men these days? Or electing them?

Frankly, the only straight white man who should have been speaking to the crowd was attorney Sam Hens-Greco (candidate for City Council District 8) because of his extensive experience and training in LGBTQ family law. He was easily the person most likely to provide solid, practical insight – not rhetoric. Thanks for being there, Sam, both at the rally and in the courtroom with so many LGBTQ families.

And thanks to everyone who took time to come down on a wintry March evening to speak out for equality and justice and love.

Please share this content.

Buffer

Share on Tumblr

Translation

(This is a modified edition of a blog post originally published at Huffington Post GayVoices.)

“What exactly does it mean to be transgender?”

“Why do they want to change their sex?”

“Why can’t they just be gay or lesbian?”

These are some of the questions I so ignorantly used to think about transgender people. I just couldn’t understand what they were thinking. Then it dawned on me: I’m being just like those closed-minded idiots who judge me and whom I so despise! So I made it a point to educate myself. I am a firm believer that ignorance must always be replaced by education. I am grateful for the amazing folks who helped me along the way. They have taught me so much, but sadly, most wish to remain anonymous, because they fear the repercussions of being outed. Some fear for their jobs, some fear losing loved ones, and others fear for their safety.

As far as I could tell *transgender* is the proper term to use. The following words should never be used to describe someone who is transgender: “transvestite,” “she-male,” “he-she,” “it,” “trannie,” “tranny” or “shim.” These words are dehumanizing, and using them to refer to any person is disrespectful.

Here is the main thing I learned, they are just like everyone else! How crazy is that?! Who knew? I have said all of those same things about how I want to be treated as a gay person. The transgender mind simply doesn’t match the birth-assigned sex. (Of course, it’s not that simple, but it should be.) As I think about what it means to be transgender, I feel incredibly sorry that I ever had those uneducated thoughts. Knowing full well what it feels like to have always known I was different and to constantly be judged because of it. I am disappointed in my ignorance and vow to make it better. What strikes me as most upsetting is that even after the long journey of acceptance that each individual has to go through (and it can take years, even decades), these folks are more often than not forced to continue denying their true selves in most areas of their lives, for fear of losing their jobs, losing loved ones, etc. Try to put yourself in their shoes for just a moment. Imagine having to hide your true self every single day, at times having to hide all aspects of your life from the people you love, fearing that they will no longer love you or might turn their backs on you, and living with a constant internal struggle, with no end in sight! The emotional torment isn’t something that I can even imagine having to endure.

My main reason for doing this blog was to educate myself. But, I figured if I was confused about what it means to be transgender, others were probably wondering too. I think if more people were willing to step out of their comfort zones and get to know about someone or something they don’t understand, we would be a less violent and fearful society. I would like to challenge everyone to do just that. Step away from your comfort zone and learn something new! I am going to continue my personal growth on this subject and encourage you all to stay tuned for future blogs.

So, remember, the next time you see or meet someone who is transgender and you are unsure of how to react or what terminology to use, do not be afraid, do not judge, and do not criticize. Instead, extend your hand, offer a smile and call them “friend”!

I would like to continue this learning experience. If you have information or resources that would be helpful, please share them in the comments section below or email Jen here.

And if you are just coming out as transgender or struggling with your gender identity, you might want to try these local resources:

* http://persadcenter.org/index.php/counseling/transgender

* http://www.ptsg.org/

Jen originally blogged about this subject on Huffington Post. To view that post click here.

See also:

GLAAD’s transgender information page
“10 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Started My Transition,” by Annika Penelope

Please share this content.

Buffer

Share on Tumblr

“Being Gay is Not Okay” More LGBTQ Letters To the Tribune-Review Editor

Things are always hopping at the Trib … lots and lots of letters submitted (and published) around LGBTQ topics.

When last we checked, Rudy Gagliardi of Arnold was defending his stance that homosexuals can change their ways. And he’s not even the worst of the bigots! Five people wrote in to challenge Gagliardi’s point of view, prompting Rudy to submit a follow up letter.

Jim Harger of New Kensington came back with a delightful and brief response.

That he even dared to mention God in such a monumental epistle to bigotry and knuckle-dragging ignorance is way beyond the limits of comprehension.

Then there’s Archie Atkinson of Lower Burrell with the articulate thoughtul retort – oh wait.

I believe normal people agree that this wonderful country was founded — and is still based — on the fundamental moral standards found in the Bible. To throw all of that out the window and proclaim that homosexuality is normal is just plain sick.

Apologies to those who want to be politically correct, but being gay is not and never will be normal.

Archie also thinks “half” the entertainment industry is gay. We are also, apparently, responsible for his decision to drink too much. Don’t ask me, he wrote it.

Here I have to insert a link to an incoherent rant labeled a “column” by the Trib’s own Jack Markowitz about the Boy Scouts. While acknowledging that our own Jen Tyrrell’s expulsion as a Scout leader was “cruel” – he seems to think it is a price worth paying ???

If it takes duress to get a good deed done, the results aren’t going to be great.

Fewer Scouts, for one. Many sponsoring organizations could drop their support. Many a Dad might say, “Get our kid out of there.

Because as we all know, so many Dads got their kids out of Catholic churches. Oh, and Dads are always the bigots “protecting” their sons from exposure to gay men. Lord. <eye roll>

Then responded to Archie (keeping up with this?) offering compassion for his need to drink his bigotry away, but pointing out that he is factually inaccurate.

So where does that leave us? Two letters for, two letters against is the tally. However, what I think we should take away from this occasional visit to the Tribune Review letters page:

People are willing to spill their ignorance and bigotry in public.
MORE people are willing to call them on it, in defense of LGBTQ folks, their religion and decency.
The Allegheny Valley seems to generate more letters than any part of the readership. ???
YOU have an opportunity to get your own letter published. Just email your thoughts to tribcity@tribweb.com

The lively dialogue is good for our community. It shows that people are paying attention and it brings to light the many, many allies we have throughout this region – often from unexpected corners.

Please share this content.

Buffer

Share on Tumblr