Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents

California Ban on Gay Marriage Struck Down

Sue — Thu, 15 May 2008 21:10:54 -0400

The California Supreme Court struck down the state's ban on same-sex marriage Thursday, saying sexual orientation, like race or gender, "does not constitute a legitimate basis upon which to deny or withhold legal rights."

In a 4-3 120-page ruling issue, the justices wrote that "responsibly to care for and raise children does not depend upon the individual's sexual orientation."

"We therefore conclude that in view of the substance and significance of the fundamental constitutional right to form a family relationship, the California Constitution properly must be interpreted to guarantee this basic civil right to all Californians, whether gay or heterosexual, and to same-sex couples as well as to opposite-sex couples," Chief Justice Ronald George wrote for the majority.

How about that? We deserve basic civil rights.

I'm very happy. We need to keep moving forward here in Pennsylvania, keep working toward expanding our own civil rights. Keep motivated. Keep up the pressure and the volume.

Good-bye, The Vault, Good-bye

Sue — Sun, 11 May 2008 00:20:59 -0400

Sad news ... Brighton Height's The Vault closed its doors tonight for the final time. As we've mentioned before, the lesbians love this place. It had what we deemed a "lesbian friendly man-vibe." I've probably been there a dozen times since last July and each was better than the last. I loved the hummus, the ice tea and the great conversation with the staff.

We stopped in for a final plate of hummus and had a little chat with Vault master-mind, Brad. He confirmed the closure and we talked about Pittsburgh's overall love affair with coffeehouses or lack thereof. He seemed resigned to the challenges of keeping afloat in a town that just isn't that into coffee houses.

I feel kind of guilty. Especially cause Brad still donated some really cool stuff to my door prize drive. I wish I had patronized them more often.

Brad and Drew helped me conceptualize a whole new recruiting tool for foster parents and I'm bummed them won't be around when it kicks into gear (I'm sure they have much bigger things to mourn, but hey ...).

Tonight, Ledcat and I were invited to a Neil Diamond release party at the home of our friends (and Vault fans) Lisel and Joe. It was big fun -- I brought jambalaya and someone else had red velvet cake. Then there was a fire and smores. Then Joe pulled out his guitar and interpreted Neil Diamond for us.

I suggested a song in honor of The Vault and what it meant to us. Joe played the next song he knew.

So long Brad, Drew and the gang. May the Northside Coffee gang live on. Thanks for making the best damn iced tea I've ever had (and I lived south of the Mason-Dixon line for 10 years).

From the point forward, memories of The Vault will forever be fused with this song a la Joe Skoski.

Cracklin rosie, get on board
Were gonna ride till there aint no more to go
Taking it slow
Lord, dont you know
Have made me a time with a poor mans lady

Hitchin on a twilight train
Aint nothing here that I care to take along
Maybe a song
To sing when I want
Dont need to say please to no man for a happy tune

Oh, I love my rosie child
You got the way to make me happy
You and me, we go in style
Cracklin rose, youre a store bought woman
You make me sing like a guitar hummin
So hang on to me, girl
Our song keeps runnin on

Play it now
Play it now, my baby

Cracklin rosie, make me a smile
Girl if it lasts for an hour, thats al right
We got all night
To set the world right
Find us a dream that dont ask no questions, yeah

Oh, I love my rosie child
You got the way to make me happy
You and me, we go in style
Cracklin rose, youre a store-bought woman
You make me sing like a guitar hummin
So hang on to me, girl
Our song keeps runnin on

Play it now
Play it now
Play it now, my baby

Cracklin rosie, make me a smile
Girl if it lasts for an hour, thats all right
We got all night
To set the world right
Find us a dream that dont ask no question, yeah

The Death of Justin Jackson: When Will People Learn?

Sue — Wed, 07 May 2008 18:53:10 -0400

This isn't going to be the post you might expect from me.

I am tired of watching families wail on television over the loss of a family member due to the police. I am very sorry for the loss to the family and can completely understand that in their grief, they need to blame someone.

I blame the media. For two repeated mistakes.

First, they allow to go unchallenged the perception that the police are supposed to shoot armed suspects "in the leg" or somehow incapacitate them without putting the public and themselves at risk of being shot by a person wounded in the leg, not their arm. It makes no sense. It only happens on television. Maybe we should try to incapacitate John Shumway via his leg and see if he can still shove the microphone into the face of a grieving parent? Maybe David Highfield should do a very special episode of the KDKA news and actually inform the public about police procedures so they can in turn make informed decisions when walking around with stolen weapons. Or loving the people who walk around with stolen weapons.

Second, the police dog is a police officer. It doesn't matter if you think that's stupid. It is written into state law so there ya go. Deal with it. If the dog disabled the person about to shoot you, you'd be pretty darn happy. It doesn't work both ways. The media images about police dogs always show them barking to tap right into one of the public's biggest fears -- dog bites. Good job. Make the public more afraid of the police.

It just sickens me that there is so little critical thinking happening when the media cover these stories. They are quick on WPXI to wave Justin Jackson's rap sheet all about as if that somehow warrants his death. They are equally quick to pick the soundbite of his family's denial that he needed some serious intervention long before he took a stroll down Arlington Avenue.

All that is missing is the quote from CPRB. That will hit all the high notes and they'll be on to a new story.

It is so freakin' reductionist. Justin Jackson was a messed up kid who came from God knows what kind of background. His family lost their son. The police were doing their damn job. The dog was doing his. It is a complicated, social nightmare and yet no one seems to talk about it in rational terms -- they just want to get the juicy details and point the finger.

I looked up Justin's record and it is not the record of someone who learned from a mistake. He certainly didn't learn not to carry a stolen weapon. Or how to interact with the police and come out alive. So who failed to teach him that?

The police didn't know his record. They knew he had a gun and that he was willing to shoot a police officer (yes, a dog -- we had this discussion). He wasn't an 11 year old child running the opposite direction.

Everyone had choices. None of them were good.

This makes me especially sick because of a situation in my own neighborhood one year ago. A kid similar to Justin -- record of drugs and guns -- was dealing and causing problems. Big brother in federal prison. All four dads in his life had rap sheets. We did all the right things. Made all the right calls. Tried to tap into resources like One Vision, One Life -- who should be making a television appearance any minute now -- to be repeatedly ignored and misled. The sad thing is they were really ignoring and lying to this kid. He didn't matter enough or he wasn't bad enough or violent enough for anyone to take some time to talk with him. What's more meaningful -- a whole contingent of street warriors at a memorial service or one making some time to try and save a kid who wasn't that far gone?

I'll say right now that the police were far more helpful than One Vision, One Life or our local "safety officer" or our elected officials. The police did exactly what they promised. Unlike the rest of them.

May Justin Jackson rest in peace and may his family find some peace with his death.

May the rest of us stop getting caught up in a Law & Order dramatic take on police conduct and actually start putting our energies into social programs that prevent and reduce these situations from happening. May we elect leaders who invest our valuable resources into our valuable children and families. May we hire administrators that run efficient and effective programs.

Amen.

Way to Go Queers: PA Senate Tables Amendment Legislation

Sue — Tue, 06 May 2008 20:18:32 -0400

I saw it first at Delaware Online followed by the Post-Gazette.

HARRISBURG -- The state Senate this evening voted to table a bill that would have amended the state constitution to ban gay marriage.

The main sponsor, Sen. Michael Brubaker, R-Lancaster, said it had become clear to him that the bill would not pass in the House and he therefore saw no point to a lengthy debate in the Senate.

The bill might have passed the Senate, which is controlled by Republicans 29-21.

Up to 14 amendments were planned on the bill, which would have meant a long night.

So what does this mean? Essentially, the bill has been put on ice, but it still has a heart beat and could come back. We can't forget that even as we rejoice.

What does that mean? YOU FREAKIN' DID IT! The Bill was expected to pass the Senate today and head for the House to be killed. But you you you beautiful homo lovin' telephone workin' fabulous folks made a difference.

Nice job, kids.

Clearly, there is work to be done. Now we have to turn our attention to HB1400 which will expand civil protections to our community. Instead of fighting against, we are on the fighting for team and we have multiple champions, including the Pittsburgh City Council.

Luke Ravenstahl is not one of those champions on this issue. He has declined to support the legislation.

I'm just sayin...

Will Pennsylvania outlaw divorce?

Sue — Tue, 06 May 2008 18:17:46 -0400

Pennsylvania's most colorful Senator -- and he would stand out brightly even in the gayest of gay communities -- Vince Fumo is proposing to amend the, well, amendment legislation to outlaw divorce with a few exceptions.

Mr. Fumo, who leaves the Senate on Nov. 30, said the stated goal of Senate Bill 1250 is to "protect the sanctity of the marital institution" by defining a legal marriage as only between one man and one woman.

The next logical step, according to Mr. Fumo, is to also outlaw divorces

You know, there just isn't much I can add to that.

Except this ... if Vince Fumo will go to such lengths, can't you make a phone call?

We have to start calling our House members soon.

SB1250 - What's Next?

Sue — Mon, 05 May 2008 21:17:47 -0400

The legislation passed in the Appropriations Committee 18 - 8. Four Democrats voted yes. Two Republicans voted no. So now the legislation moves toward a vote by the full Senate.

Yes, that means more telephone calls.

The "yes" votes (pro-Amendment) in SW PA are:

John Pippy (R)

Barry Stout (D) - Yikes!

Mary Jo White (R)

Regola (R)

The "no" votes (anti-Amendment) is SW PA are:

Gerald Lavelle (D)

Sean Logan (D)

So here is what you need to do. If you live in Lavelle (most of Beaver County) or Logan (Monroeville and some of the Mon Valley) country, please call them to say thanks and ask them to continue to oppose the legislation.

The big thing for me is Barry Stout -- a Democrat -- voting in favor of legislation that would constrict the civil rights of my community. Your job is to think of at least one person you know that lives in his district and pick up the phone to call THAT PERSON to make a call to Senator Stout telling them they do not appreciate his vote on this issue and that not everyone in Washington, Greene or Beaver counties are bigots.

Does your sister live in Mon City? Is your cousin from West Finley Township? I know there are gay people in Waynesburg. This is the time. Call 'em up. Ask them who is taking care of their health care, their jobs and their taxes while Senator Stout protects them from gay marriage?

Stout's telephone numbers: (724) 225-5400 and (717) 787-1463

And kudos to reader ctb for calling out John Pippy on the issue. Is it deplorable that his staff would treat you with such disrespect just because your opinions differs from him. He still works for you (and by default, so do they). Good for you for not backing down. Sending the letters is perfect. You deserve to be treated with respect and courtesy when you call someone elected to represent you. Good for you.

So get on the phone. Here's a handy map for Senate contact information. Lots and lots of gay people come rolling into town from these areas. Hey, isn't Patrick Arena from Little Washington? Someone call him. Get some names from him. Isn't Eda Bagel from Little Washington?

I know some women from Beaver County read this blog. We need your help!

So, Monday is the Big Gay Rally and You Can't Get to Harrisburg?

Sue — Sun, 04 May 2008 21:53:09 -0400

UPDATE: I made a call this morning to Fontana's office in Harrisburg. They are getting a ton of calls, going both directions. Similar reports from Costa's Harrisburg office. Keep it up. Sneak out for a cigarette break, even if you don't smoke, to make the call. I also heard that the rally is noisy. All good news. Keep it up. You are doing great

******************************************************************

Rejoice, fair homo and homo allies, for there is something very important you can do right from the comfort of your own cell phone.

Call your Senator. Tell the nice staff person who answer the phone that you are opposed to attempts to amend the constitution of Pennsylvania to prevent gay marriage aka SB 1250. That's all you really need to say, along with your name and address (so they know you are really a constituent).

If you want to say more, do so. Ask how the Senator stands on this issue (if you don't know). Thank the Senator for a pro-homo stance. Tell them why you are opposed to the amendment. Talk about your family. Mention the issues that are important to you -- health care? employment? economic development? taxes? whatever!

For my impassioned take on things, visit my Blog for Equality post.

The important thing is that you are reaching for your cell phone right now, scribbling down the number and heading for whatever quiet nook is necessary for you to make the call.

Why now? Why Monday? Because the bill is going to be voted out of Appropriations and possibly to the full Senate for a vote. This week. So waiting until it is more convenient for your individual life is not an option.

This isn't a situation where you -- especially if you are a gay person or love a gay person -- have the luxury of letting someone else do the heavy lifting. A contingent of Pittsburghers gave up a day to staff the rally for us. The telephone calls, well that's our part of the homosexual agenda. Step lively, people. Or, rather, dial lively!

You know that this amendment is smoke screen designed to keep us from organizing around important civil rights legislation sitting in committee. You know that this is about using gay marriage as an issue for the election -- rile 'em up to vote for McCain.

And you know that is all complete bullshit. The worst thing that could happen to our heterosexual married friends, family members and neighbors if Ledcat and I were to marry? The wedding registry. We have expensive tastes.

Why are you still reading this? Oh, you need telephone numbers. Here's the entire fleet of Southwestern PA Senators. If you don't know who represents you, click here to find out.

Jay Costa   Hburg (717) 787-7683   Pittsburgh   (412) 241-6690
Sean Logan   Hburg (717) 787-5580    Pittsburgh (412) 664-5200
Wayne Fontana Hburg (717) 787-5300   Pittsburgh (412) 344-2551
John Pippy Hburg (717) 787-5839   Pittsburgh (412) 262-2260
Jim Ferlo Hburg (717) 787-6123    Pittsburgh (412) 621-3006
Jane Orie Hburg (717) 787-6538   Pittsburgh (412) 630-9466 j
J. Barry Stout Hburg (717) 787-1463   Pittsburgh (724) 225-5400 b
Gerald Lavelle Hburg (717) 787-3076   Pittsburgh   (724) 654-1444
Mary Jo White Hburg (717) 787-9684   Pittsburgh (814) 432-4345
Donald C.White Hburg (717) 787-8724   Pittsburgh (724) 357-0151
Robert D. Robbins Hburg (717) 787-1322   Pittsburgh (724) 588-1323
Bob Regola Hburg (717) 787-6063    Pittsburgh   (724) 600-7002
Richard Kasunic Hburg (717) 787-7175   Pittsburgh (724) 626-1611

Now stop reading and start calling. It is practically painless.

Seriously, are you dialing?

Gay Marriage Round Up

Sue — Sat, 03 May 2008 13:58:17 -0400

Wow, lots to catch up on ...

Monday, May 5, 2008 is the Rally in Harrisburg. Rally? The Rally Against the "Protection of Marriage" Amendment. Ledcat and I had hoped to attend, but fate (and work) conspired against us. Are you planning to attend? I'm hoping for an eyewitness account.

Last week, there was a "highly charged" hearing in Harrisburg. The PG has the coverage

Scott Hollander, executive director of KidsVoice, said his board members are divided on the gay marriage issue but unanimous in opposing the language banning "the functional equivalent of marriage." Under that language, children placed with unmarried foster parents could be denied health insurance through domestic-partner benefit programs and could face hurdles if those foster families want to adopt them, he said.

"They could lose many of the benefits they currently enjoy," said Mr. Hollander, whose group serves abused and neglected children in Pittsburgh.

It continues to amaze me that the folks opposed to the amendment have a long list of concrete ways this legislation will have a negative impact on families whereas the other side just has a claim that it will protect families with nothing to back it up. How is it we are still having this discussion?

Here are the letters of recent vintage:

M.W. Sage of Swissvale puts it succinctly:

Regarding the bill to protect heterosexual marriage ("Backers, Foes of Gay Marriage Collide at Capitol," April 30): There are many greater issues needing attention. Couples know when a relationship is working and when it isn't. They can seek help if they want it.

The same is so for gay relationships.

The nation and the world have more pressing issues to be addressed. Let the Legislature busy itself with those.

Well put.

Meanwhile, a series of letters in the Tribune Review finally address this issue.

First up is Sharon Capretto of Mt. Washington. She is a member of the Cult to Protect Marriage (something like that) and thinks that the will of the people is not embedded in our legislative system. She must not vote. Or at least, she doesn't trust most of the people who do vote:

This proposed amendment would give our federal Defense of Marriage Act constitutional protection to ensure that a judge or the Legislature could not redefine marriage in our state without the will of the people. Twenty-seven states have seen fit to pass similar amendments. Pennsylvanians would like the same consideration.

In response, Amesh Adalja of Butler (hey, that's cool -- Metcalfe Country)is embarrassed by the Republicans embracing this issue at the expense of real concerns.

Inserting religious proscriptions into the state Constitution utilizes precious legislative time that could be directed toward lowering taxes, scaling back the size of state government, privatizing the state liquor stores and many other worthy Republican causes.

Then, Kris Sanders of Squirrel Hill (really?) chimes in:

Such moral reasoning recognizes that marriage is inherently based upon the complementarity between a man and a woman. They are clearly designed to come together in a way that leads to the generation of new life. It is the fundamental building block of any society.

I'm not sure it is scientifically accurate to claim that two men or two women cannot complement each other, unless you reduce human beings to the sum of the reproductive organs. I'd say the 20,000+ children in the Pennsylvania foster care system are proof positive of that reductive assumption being utter bullshit. By the way, how many kids do you foster, Kris?

Now, I'm not an expert on the Founding Fathers, but I did study a little political theory. My understanding of Jefferson and Madison is that society is built upon the individual in relationship to the institution. They had a clear concept of individual freedoms and liberties, not family based liberties. Women and children weren't even enumerated in the Constitution, considered the property or wards of the male head of household. Is that where Kris wants to go? It was only through societal progress and a recognition of the civil rights of women (and children) that the modern family has evolved (and women are allowed to read newspapers).

The family is not the building block of society, Kris. Your partner/spouse and your children have rights and responsibilities that are separate and distinct from your own. Coming together to build a family sometimes strengthens society and sometimes does not. But you should be more precise if you plan to throw around scientific terms like "complementarity."

Have you written your letter to the Post-Gazette, the Tribune-Review or the Pittsburgh City Paper? People do pay attention. Even legislators.

Oh, those lesbitarians ...

Sue — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 22:03:44 -0400

Always taking over with their wholegrain, crunchy goodness and all those eggplants!

Actually, I'm really starting to dig vegetarian food when it is cooked by Jessica at Hoi Polloi. Or Ledcat. Or anyone but me. But still ... does everything have to be vegetarian? What next -- recycling bins at Wendys?

I regret to say that Lesbian Night at Dozen Bakeshop has morphed into Lesbitarian Night, complete with vegetarian chili (note to anyone reading this -- I hate chili more than anything in the world. Except snakes. And pickles). I almost wept to realize that rather than a simple free cupcake, I would have to fork over $10 for a vegetarian meal. Even if it does include a red velvet cupcake.

On a Tuesday.

Sigh. I mean I can see the cute word play and vegetarianism is much healtheir and it really isn't cool to say LesbiFleshEaters. Still ... cupcakes! That's part of the lesbian nation, too. Coffee and a cupcake. That's all I wanted.

Plus, the Dozen people aren't even sending me their promotional materials after I hooked them up with Ehrrin and her dyke salute. No little press releases about chili of the week. Nothing. I may not like the chili, but I like the lesbians part.

If Hoi Polloi starts offering cupcakes, I'm set. Can I go back to the Priory Bakery now that Brenda Frazier lost her election? All these rules confuse me. I just want a cupcake!

And you know when I want one? On Saturday nights when we go out to dinner and have some time to kill. But it is hard to find a cupcake on a Saturday night that is not encased in cellophane.

Now I'm going to want one all day tomorrow. Not a lot of cupcakes in East Liberty. I'm afraid of Paddy Cakes (why make the cake so fast, baker's man? why would i want to share my cake with a baby who should not eat cake?)

See, this is what happens ... darn lesbitarians. Lesbivores? Sigh. This is what happens when Jessica gets me to try tofu crumbles and kidney beans in the same evening. The whole world goes topsy turvy.

Letters to the Editor

Sue — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 07:10:25 -0400

Three letters in today's Post-Gazette, two for gay rights and one for gay oppression. Still no letters in the Tribune-Review.

Proud papa Edward Walkowski of Brookline simply wants his lesbian daughter and her partner to have equal rights. Edward recognizes the true political agenda of the Amendment supporters:

The political leaders pushing this amendment are nothing but political opportunists and hypocrites -- political opportunists because, by taking advantage of fears, prejudices and ignorance, they would hope to create a wedge issue that would aid their own political aims, and hypocrites because if they were truly concerned with protecting marriage and the family, they would attempt to legislate against divorce and to legislate for pre-marriage testing to ensure that couples would be stable partners and parents.

Lorette Barone of Point Breeze makes another simple point, namely that gay marriage won't impact her marriage. Nor will it protect anyone else's marriage.

Kudos to Bruce Kraus ("Gay Marriage in Pennsylvania," April 27 Forum). I have no idea how exactly the anti-gay marriage amendment will "strengthen marriage" -- an institution that has been in decline everywhere without any help from the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender community and lots of help from educational, religious and legislative bodies.

I do know that GLBT people marrying will have no impact on my 45-year marriage. The adoption of the amendment will disenfranchise a host of my fellow citizens who -- constitutionally -- share all the rights and privileges that I enjoy... well, almost, but not quite because they're... you know.

On the other hand, Nancy Staible of Zelienople believes marriage is the answer. Nancy is an old friend of the letters page.

Contrary to the attitude shared by several of the senators hosting the hearing, I think the people of Pennsylvania do understand what marriage is, what it is not and why we need to protect this bedrock of our society. I would venture to say that every member of those listening to or offering testimony, whether supporting or opposing the amendment, was born as a result of the union of one man and one woman and understand the value of marriage.

That's probably not true. There's a range of possibilities. I speak hypothetically because I don't know who was there or the circumstances of their conception. Someone may have gay parents. Someone may be the result of artificial insemination. Another could have been conceived as a result of sexual assualt or incest. I'm guessing a few were born to teenagers who didn't understand the consequence of their actions. Nancy and her ilk rarely mention those circumstances. Getting married because you "have to" is not the same thing as entering a loving union with full intent and commitment.

The limited role of government in our representative republic is to establish and maintain laws that are determined to be best for the country and its people. Marriage over time has been shown to be the gold standard for raising children, socializing men and women, building a strong economy and providing for healthy, long lives.

Also, not true. Research has shown that two parent families have strengths for children, but that gay parenting is little different than heterosexual parenting. If anything, it is the constant barrage against the gay community that is hurting our children.

Just this week, we see a newlywed couple who beat the hell out of each other and bystanders on the day of their wedding. What economic contribution does that make? It drains resources because of the need for police and judicial intervention.

Staible deludes herself that marriage is some sort of magic bullet to cure social woes. So why doesn't she turn her attention to the aspects of existing marriages that aren't working so well? Why not help women who are being battered by their spouses have better supports have healthy, long lives? Why not strengthen safety net resources so financial hardships don't destroy marriages? Why not address healthcare so families aren't forced to remain unmarried so women and children can access publicly funded healthcare because their male partners' business doesn't offer a family plan? There are tons of things Nancy could do.

If she really cared about marriage.

Bruce Kraus: Excerpts from his testimony

Sue — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 10:18:23 -0400

The Post-Gazette published City Councilman Bruce Kraus' recent testimony on SB 1250 which would embed a definition of marriage into the PA Constitution. All I can tell you is that this is a really great read. Here is my favorite excerpt:

With all the challenges that we, as a commonwealth, are facing -- deteriorating infrastructure; staggering health-care costs; municipalities crippled by the inability or unwillingness of legislators to ensure that nonprofits contribute toward ever escalating municipal service costs; rampant gun violence; and corruption in government -- certain Pennsylvania state legislators would like us to believe that defining marriage and outlawing civil union is our most pressing legislative priority.

In reality this is their mark of shame.

Legislating a ban on same-sex marriage or civil unions is homophobia, bigotry and sanctioned discrimination of a selected class of people. I would liken homophobia to racism, sexism and anti-Semitism because it seeks to dehumanize people and deny them their dignity, personhood and equal protection under the law. In the year 2008, would you dare to legislate to deny marriage or civil union based on race, creed, age or ethnicity?

This need not become a mark of shame, but rather a call to courage -- the courage to overcome fear and injustice. Choosing the right thing to do is not always popular or easy, but standing for what is right and true and just, especially when it is unpopular, is the true test of moral character.

Today I ask you, as members of the state General Assembly, with the power to end this discrimination before it can go any further, to not only vote against SB 1250, but to speak out against it and the intolerance, prejudice and discrimination it represents.

Bishop Zubik writes the opposing view. He's the Bride of Christ. Or something like that.

Richard Simmons is a girly man

Sue — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 10:31:21 -0400

Does the "Richard Simmons isn't a real man/is a girly she man" slur ever go out of style? Peter McKay is syndicated so I guess not. Here he is describing the fancy office he built in his backyard (is this really supposed to resonate with the average Pittsburgh resident) which his wife decorated and he used for work purposes:

And somehow, my wife's stuff never made it out. Flowery pictures and ribbons are everywhere. Gingham curtains still hang on the windows.

There's a big bulletin board collage of kids' fingerpaintings, family photos and mementos.

Every surface is covered with cute knickknacks.

One friend called it the Richard Simmons room -- male, but only by a technicality.

The other day, I had an electrician out to fix a bad circuit breaker in the garage. He came in, looked around for a minute, then remarked on what a cool idea it was to turn the little building into a room:

"Me, if I had something like this, I'd turn it into a guy's room, you know? Someplace I could get away from the family!" he said.

"Yeah!" I said proudly. "This used to be my wife's office, but now it's my Man Cave!"

He stopped short, clearly a little nauseous that I'd actually used that word to describe it. He suddenly seemed uncomfortable to be alone with me.

"You know!" I said, "like the Batcave, but..."

Dead silence.

He looked around the room at the gingham, the dried flower arrangements, the pink sofabed. "You pick out that couch yourself?" he said, raising an eyebrow.

I shook my head sadly. My wife, I explained, had overruled me on that one.

"Hmmf!" he snorted, turning back to the fuse box. "Some Man Cave, pal!"

Oh, ha ha ha. Poor Peter is the hapless victim of his frilly wife and his butch male friends. Well, I'm sure Richard Simmons is jump-jacking his way all the way to the bank, knowing he's made a ton of people healthier and a ton of money, too.

Maybe enough to pick out his own couch.

The evolution of gay-exclusive spaces: are gay bars on the demise?

Sue — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 10:14:52 -0400

I found this article at American Public Media ... actually, the teaser ended up in my inbox. The premise seems to be an exploration of a recent claim by Forbes Magazine that gay bars are among the top ten businesses facing extinction, along with crop dusting and record stores. Ouch.

APM took a look and noted some interesting trends.

First, some gay bars are becoming more mixed or "evolving" into gay-friendly bars with a healthy mix of heterosexual patrons. Owners spin this as a sign of progress, of the cultural enmesh we've been seeking all these years.

Although, some gay exclusive bars haven't pulled off that transition and are closing their doors. Ironically, this happens at a peak of gay spending power ...$750 billion according to this article.

Others attribute the drain on gay bars to generational issues. Back in the day, the gay bar was the community center and provided the loci for everything from socialization to organizing and advocacy. Today's generations are using the Internet and increasingly accepted gay-identified alternative spaces and organizations to accomplish those goals.

Finally, there are the nay-sayers who say in certain parts of the country, there is a need for gay-exclusive bars given the dynamics of that region.

So, gay spending is up and so is the number (and types) of places to spend. The gay bar generation is aging. Young gays are being raised in mixed-environments where they can identity as openly queer and still find their space. Not all of American has evolved this far.

I personally don't have an intimate knowledge of this history of Pittsburgh's gay bar scene. Wouldn't that make for a wonderful documentary? Or thesis? Anyone in queer studies done that? I've been to Donny's, the Eagle, CJ's, Lucky's, Pegasus, New York, New York and that place that used to the Liberty Avenue Saloon, I think. Oh, and True. I think that's it. I loved True because it was smoke free, but the crowd wasn't very friendly. The Eagle was my favorite -- they seem to do a lot of benefits and I thought the different floors were a hoot. Plus, the staff were friendly. Granted, this is a very limited sampling -- probably 20-25 visits over the past 15 years.

So, my inexpert opinion, is that Pittsburgh is probably one of those places that still needs a core gay bar scene even while queer-straight mixed places are emerging. The Firehouse Lounge had a successful run of L-Word parties. When the season ended, the women stopped coming. They'll be back next season. They don't do reruns.

The coffeehouses are a great example of an entirely new mixed venue that's providing queer supportive (and queer owned) spaces. I love the coffeehouses in Pittsburgh, although I have to admit that I tried to go to the new one in Lawrenceville -- Your Inner Vagabond -- and it took me exactly 2 minutes to feel uncomfortable and head right back out the door. Actually, come to think of it, it is a very similar experience to a gay bar when you walk in and people stare at you like you are an intruder. For someone like me, that's all she wrote. I go where there is less staring b/c I equate staring = get the fuck out of here. If I want that experience of hostile begrudging sharing of space, I'll go visit my aunt at the holidays. Or my Catholic university reunion.

Anyway, I was saying ... I think The Firehouse Lounge project was a good one. But I suspect that some of those lesbians went back to their familiar haunts and, assuming they drink responsibly blah blah blah, that's a good thing, too.

Pittsburgh's gay bars are driving PrideFest this year so they certainly don't seem to be on the demise. I wouldn't mind going for a drink if they would just go smoke-free. Until then, I'll do my socializing at events and order my coffee without the splash of a withering glance.

Check out the article.

Other Gay Stuff You Might Want to Know

Sue — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 23:01:10 -0400

I was very depressed after picking up this week's City Paper. The feature article on recycling was the slap in the face you really need even though it hurts like a bitch. Bill Driscoll confirms my deep seeded fear that the majority of my do-gooder efforts are essentially pointless because I take the easy way out. I can sort and pack and visit Construction Junction as often as I want. It only matters if it gets me to make the paradigm jump (shift if you like) from being content to recycle to actually reducing my consumption of ... well, everything.

This is the part where my head starts to spin from all of the overwhelming changes I must make to be a better person and I just want to lay down for awhile in a dark room. Sense to Save blogger Kacie explores a similar issue around frugality and environmental consciousness. Is frugality just about saving money or reducing consumption? Hmmm.

What Bill didn't do is answer a whole list of questions I have about recycling. Why can't lids be recycled if they are made of plastic, too? Why don't Whole Foods and the Co-op carry large blue bags for recycling in the City? Is it true the bags are not recycled? Cause that sucks. Can you recycle an orange juice carton with the little plastic spouty thing? Finally, where do you go to get these questions answered? I've visited all the city, county and state websites. If see the words "paperboard, like cereal boxes" one more time in print, I will wail and gnash my teeth.

Moving on ...

The City Paper also covers recent goings on with the 3rd Annual Dyke March. I had a nice chat with Eli today, who reaffirmed that Persad has offered a lot of support (Go Betty Hill!) and other community institutions have made overtures. She also told me she accidentally discovered Hoi Polloi while planning the march and is very excited to have an awesome lesbian-owned business to support as they plan, plan and organize. Ledcat and I *a*d*o*r*e* Hoi Polloi. Tonight, I discovered I like kidney beans! Who knew!

Anyway ... stay tuned for more dyke march news and more hoi polloi news. And more Betty Hill news, too, if I can find some.

Letters to the Editor ....

Pat Gannon Voye of Robinson actually used the expression "Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" in his letter to the Post-Gazette. Even if s/he is stuck in the 1980's, a good point is raised as to why the separate, but equal solution will never suffice:

But no way should those persons be afforded the dignity of legal marriage.

Yep, no dignity for us homos.

Kristen Danzi of Oakland, however, has pulled back the wizard's curtain on the whole marriage amendment sham of an issue:

It is time for our state senators to dismount the dead horse of bigotry and return to their jobs: improving the lives of all Pennsylvanians, not reducing some to second-class citizenship.

The older white guy columnist for the PG (oh, can't you tell which one I mean?) has a little shout out for the homosexuals on the claim that conservatives are happier than liberals:

Well, I don't buy it at all. It has always seemed to me that conservatives are happiest when they are hot and bothered about something. I long ago concluded that being constantly dyspeptic is the fun of it for them, the sole reason they hold their peculiar views. It is why they listen to talk radio, so that their underwear will ride up their rear quarters in indignation.

What else can one assume when they go to such extraordinary lengths to invent issues to be irritated about? Who but cranky types care about the alleged threat of gay marriage, for example? It's simple to me: If you don't approve of gay marriage, don't marry a gay person, but in the meantime have the good manners to mind your own business.

You go, Reg.

I haven't blogged about Tony Norman in awhile. He amused me today with memoirs of his cold, while he contemplated the role of race in Obama's loss in Pennsylvania. I get what he is saying, but /.. you know what, I'm going to email him and ask him first. Then I'll blog about it.

Anyway, that's the news from Lesbian Central. I'm now going to go lay in the dark and avoid consuming anything.

Additions to the Delta Foundation Board

Sue — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 22:19:01 -0400

Pittsburgh's Delta Foundation recently announced the addition of two new board members. Cindy Daro was elected by the Foundation membership. Keri Harmicar was appointed by the existing board members.

Both were gracious enough to respond to a few questions about their new roles in our community.

1. What role do you see the Delta Foundation filling for Pittsburgh's LGBTQ community?

KH: I am hopeful that the Delta Foundation will be able to bring the LGBTQI community closer together. By recognizing there are differences in the communities, we should be able to address the overall needs better. The community as it exists now would gain so much more by working together for a (or many) common goals.

CJD: The Delta Foundation of Pittsburgh has the potential to become the communication and event planning hub of our region’s LGBTQ community. Delta has already demonstrated their capabilities to provide community-related events and to raise monies for concerns like the GLCC of Pittsburgh. The Delta Foundation is raising the bar for other LGBTQ organizations. That’s a good thing.

2. Why did you apply to serve on the board?

KH: I am new to Pittsburgh and I wanted to be involved with a group of people that are willing to get out there and make a difference. I saw the Delta Foundation as that group!

CJD: I applied because I saw the initiative and teamwork of the Delta Foundation in action. I wanted to be part of a group that is striving to improve the quality of life for the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer (LGBTQ) Community of the Pittsburgh region. I believe Delta has the capacity to catalyze change and follow through to make it happen.

3. Please describe how the current board represents the diversity of Pittsburgh's LGBTQ community.

KH: I feel the current board is reflective of the community as large; I would love to see more diversity at this point as advisors.

CJD: The make-up of the Board does not reflect all the letters in the acronym. But, it is fully capable of representing all of those letters.

4. What is your personal goal or objective for the duration of your tenure on the board?

KH: As I mentioned earlier, I want to make a difference. I have a lesbian aunt and a close gay cousin. Their lives could have been much easier if they had someone to help them ‘fight’ or stand up. I was too young at the time, but you can believe I am most definitely in their corners now. The labeling that I see in both the straight world and the LGBTQI world is so destructive. I want people to know people; to understand we are all the same. We all want/need/deserve love, respect and opportunity.

CJD: My main goal is to be a team player. Additionally, I have a heart for spirituality, women’s issues, and problems faced by queer youth. My dream is to help make the Pittsburgh region a safe place to be openly LGBTQ. It won’t happen overnight and I can’t do it alone.

5. What role should the Delta Foundation play in relationship to other LGBTQ organizations, specifically the GLCC?

KH: Delta is relatively new to this; they (we) are committed to bringing the entire community together to accomplish so much more. I am hopeful that the GLCC and the Delta will find some commonality.

CJD: Delta is currently in the process of tuning relationships with other LGBTQ organizations. As to their role with the GLCC, that’s something which needs to be determined between both entities.

6. The Delta Foundation is very connected to Pittsburgh's gay bar scene, which leans heavily toward gay men. How do you see the organization stepping out of that paradigm to meet the needs of other segments of the community?

KH: I think its natural that the Delta Foundation is so heavily connected to the ‘bar scene’; it is where most of the members came from! That being said, there is so much more we as a Board hope and plan to accomplish out of the bars….we’ll get thereJ

CJD: Delta knows the bar scene. It’s smart to capitalize on what you know at the onset. That’s one of the keys to success. They also see the big picture. As time goes on, the bar scene will be just be another faucet of the Delta Foundation. Even now, the face of Delta is morphing: one of the new projects we’re sponsoring is Potluck Productions “Funny Grrlz: Laugh OUT Loud.” That’s happening on Saturday, June 14^th at the Carnegie Library of Homestead Music Hall. I’m really looking forward to it.

7. People have recently been quoted as saying Pittsburgh's LGBTQ community needs to be united or to work together. Can you identify any recent local examples of gay unity or cooperation (outside of the Delta Foundation) that inspire you to continue along that path?

KH: I know many members of the Renaissance Choir and I admire the work they do together. The company I work for (Borders) is very supportive of diversity and we recently were awarded one of the highest honors from the Human Rights Campaign for our work environment for LGBTQI. I am proud of that and I hope to have all of the stores I work with reflect that position.

CJD: Speaking from my personal experience, I’d say the Renaissance City Choirs show how LGBTQ and straight people can work together in musical unison. Susan Haugh’s queer youth performing arts troupe, Dreams of Hope, shows how creative expression connects people (in general) and educates the straight community. Others successful collective efforts include Celebrate Art/Celebrate Life and Pittsburgh Pride, which show our teamwork in presenting benefits/celebrations for our community and the community at large.

8. Beyond members of the Delta Foundation, please list at least one local LGBTQ leader who should always be at the table?

KH: I think as a Board, we are very open to suggestions from the community; if someone felt they had a thought or an idea to share, I know we would welcome their contribution.

CJD: I don’t know that the Delta Board needs to have leaders from other organizations at their meetings. I guess it would depend on the project du jour. I do believe there should be an annual or periodic meeting, of all LGBTQ leaders – a summit – to ensure that the ‘collective community’ is presenting a healthy perspective to the community at large.

9. How long do you plan to serve on the board?

KH: My term is for two years.

CJD: My term expires in August of 2009. I will serve as long as they need me, and as long as I think I am adding value to the organization.

I appreciate both women taking the time to answer my questions, poorly crafted as they (my questions) were. Increasing the number of women on the board is a step toward diversifying leadership and I hope the organization continues to move forward in that direction.

What do you think?

Obituary - Randy Forrester

Sue — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 08:31:04 -0400

With hopes of forgiveness from the Post-Gazette, this should be read by all.

Randal G. "Randy" Forrester was 16 when he came out as a gay man to his parents, and likewise was open about his sexuality with his friends and classmates.

That was in 1963, when society's attitudes about homosexuality were in the Stone Age compared to today, and it illustrated Mr. Forrester's honesty and bravery.

Those attributes, along with intelligence, passion and a sense of humor, would serve him well over the next four decades as he worked tirelessly as a pioneering crusader for the rights of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community as well as for women, black people and other minorities.

Mr. Forrester, 60, died Wednesday in Forbes Hospice, where he had been treated for 10 days. He died of cell carcinoid cancer of the liver.

He was first diagnosed with a tumor 26 years ago, but, amazingly, only in the last year did it present him with serious health problems, said Jim Huggins, Mr. Forrester's life partner of 37 years.

Mr. Huggins, who co-founded the Persad Center with Mr. Forrester in 1972, said he was a visionary who affected innumerable people through his activism and the way he lived his own life.

"Randy was at the forefront of most changes in the sense he was a person who kept pushing the envelope, getting people to look at what gay people and lesbians are really about and not to look at the stereotypical images," said Mr. Huggins, who with Mr. Forrester lived on a houseboat docked at Fox Chapel Yacht Club.

"People are people, human beings are human beings and our 37 years of an incredibly loving relationship is certainly testament to that."

"He was incredibly always ahead of his time, a visionary," said Betty Hill, executive director of the Persad Center, the nation's second-oldest licensed counseling center specifically created to serve the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community. "I think he arguably is this region's most influential gay rights figure. I can't think of anyone else who has done more for the gay community and the HIV community."

Dr. Tony Silvestre of the Pitt Men's Study, the long-standing AIDS research project that Mr. Forrester helped launch, noted that Mr. Forrester's pioneering work for gay rights was courageous, occurring as it did at a time that was "risky and dangerous. People were still being attacked on the street, activists were receiving threats.

"Driven by his vision, driven by the need he saw ... he stepped out loudly and never quieted down for his whole career. I think it took incredible courage, incredible determination and great compassion. I have no doubt he has had a profound, positive effect on thousands of people if not tens of thousands of people. He was a true hero."

Mr. Forrester was No. 53 in Pittsburgh Magazine's list of the 100 most influential Pittsburghers of the 20th century.

A North Hills native, he studied psychology at the University of Pittsburgh and music at Duquesne University.

From 1972 until 2001 he was executive director of the Persad Center, after which he served as a consultant for Persad and other nonprofit groups.

He served as president and vice president of the Pennsylvania Coalition of AIDS Service Organizations; was a board member of the Southwestern Pennsylvania AIDS Planning Coalition and the American Civil Liberties Union; and assisted in the creation of the Governor's Council for Sexual Minorities.

He chaired the city's Commission on Human Relations from 1991 to 1994, was on the community advisory board for WQED/WQEX-TV, and founded the Lambda Foundation, a fund-raising organization for the regional lesbian/gay community.

A Democratic committeeman from 1990 to 1993, he ran for Allegheny County commissioner in the 1979 Democratic primary. He lost the election but succeeded in using his candidacy to illustrate the need to include in the political process the views of sexual minorities, women, blacks and others who often were disenfranchised, Mr. Huggins said.

"After he ran, there was a lot more awareness on the part of politicians," Mr. Huggins said.

"Randy was such a character, just a very bold and interesting personality," said Ms. Hill. "That just added to the way he was able to get people to listen, to challenge systems, to challenge discrimination."

"He was a very intelligent, very witty, very kind and loving person," said Mr. Huggins. "He made friends easily. He was a perfect spokesman because he was so bright and articulate and knew what he was talking about."

Mr. Huggins said he and his partner loved to travel -- they visited Egypt and England twice as well as Greece, Italy and Thailand, among other countries -- and to play with their Labrador retrievers, Willie and Joey.

Even in death, Mr. Forrester gave to others, donating his body to science.

A celebration of Mr. Forrester's life will be held May 4 at 2 p.m. at The Priory on the North Side.

The GLCC wants your sex toys

Sue — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 22:14:42 -0400

Seriously.

The GLCC is exploring a new program to provide safer sex educational tools and resources. This arose from a recent presentation to a class of medical students where it became apparent that the students were not familiar with certain sex toys, suggesting that they would not be in a position to educate their patients. Moreover, would they be unable to take an accurate sexual history if they aren't asking the right questions?

Organizers have lined up a health nurse educator to offer a monthly session on safer sex practices, sex toys, etc. They've found donors to provide condoms and printed materials.

They are having a wee bit of trouble identifying a funder to purchase sex toys.

That's where you come in. You know you have some that are just "gathering dust" so to speak. Or maybe something you never opened because it looked much easier to use in the catalogue. Now is your chance to be part of the solution and help keep Pittsburgh's queer community healthy and safe.

You can also donate a brand new toy directly or make a financial donation designated for the sex toy project here.

Imagine discussing that tax deduction with H&R Block? :-)

Personally, I think this is a wonderful idea. Ledcat and I sponsored a sex-toy party at the GLCC about 4 years ago with the fabulous Girls Night In (sigh) folks. The turnout was huge and the evening was filled with lots of laughter and perplexed looks as Karen passed around her merchandise. People were curious and they showed up to get some answers.

I hope this isn't too scandalous, but what a fabulous tribute to two advocates of a healthy Pittsburgh LGBTQ community to get the word out about this project within moments of learning of their passing. Not only will this help educate local queers, but also promote better understanding in the health community as well. That's a really good idea to get behind. No pun intended (well, maybe just a little bit).

RIP: Pittsburgh's Queer Community Loses Two Important Members

Sue — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 21:55:59 -0400

Today brought sad news to, well, me and many other individuals in the LGBTQ community. First, came word that one of the godfathers of Pittsburgh's modern queer community had passed away at the age of 60. Randy Forrester (I'll insert the obit when it is published tomorrow) has been hailed for man things: founding Persad Center, running as the county's first openly gay candidate, putting an end to bar raids, and just generally stepping up and stepping out as a leader throughout the past 30+ years.

Randy received numerous accolades and honors for his contributions to our entire community. All I have to offer is that when someone says "Jim and Randy," most people smile and know exactly who you mean. That's a life well-lived, if far too short.

Another sad note followed a few hours later. Longtime lesbian health advocate and faculty member in the University of Pittsburgh School of Education, Dr. Deb Aaron passed away yesterday at the age of 51. Deb was instrumental in completing a comprehensive needs assessment for the LGBTQ community, as well as a researcher with the ESTHER project -- she paid attention to health disparities for lesbians. Her contributions to academia and the wellness of lesbians are too numerous for me to enumerate.

I had the privilege of serving on the board of the Gay & Lesbian Community Center with Deb for a few years. We also spent one long evening selling soda and chips back in the early days of Celebrate the Night. She was a lovely person, very classy and just amazingly smart. She was also part of the "Dykes on Bikes" in the Pride Parade and a lot of fun.

Deb will be laid to rest in her mother's hometown. A local memorial service is scheduled for June 13, 2008 at 1 PM. Her family has two requests in lieu of flowers:

(1)   Pittsburgh Cancer Center's fund providing assistance to patients and families:
      UPMC Cancer Centers Patient Assistance Fund
      Development Department
      UPMC Cancer Pavilion, Suite 1B
      5150 Centre Ave
      Pittsburgh, PA 15232

(2)   Support for graduate students in Health and Physical Education , University of Pittsburgh:

      Office of Development
      University of Pittsburgh
      School of Education
      5613 WWPH
      Pittsburgh, PA 15260

Checks should be made payable to: University of Pittsburgh. Indicate that donation is in memory of Deborah J. Aaron, PhD

God speed our dear friends. Pittsburgh is a better place to be gay because of both of them. As new generations of queer women and men step up and step out, their legacies will continue. And I am sure their many beloved friends and family members will carry their memories for the rest of their days.

Obama addresses PA Marriage Amendment

Sue — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 13:36:48 -0400

Well, he finally has something to say about attempts to amend the PA Constitution.

"If I were in the state legislature, I would oppose it, Obama said.

Obama's silence on the proposed amendment to the state's constitution has proven worrisome to local gay rights groups who have largely thrown their support behind Hillary Clinton and just two days before the primary he made his position clear.

"I'm not in favor of gay marriage but I certainly don't want to see a court suggesting that somehow we can't pass laws that say gays and lesbians aren't being discriminated against," Obama said.

So he would oppose it. Check. But what do the rest of the words mean? He doesn't want to see a court suggesting ... isn't that the rhetoric of those in favor of the amendment who fear the courts overturning current legislations outlawing gay marriage? Huh?

This doesn't make any sense. It sounds like more of the same chest-beating "I am Christian, hear me tolerate" crap. It makes me almost long for a refreshing dose of Darryl Metcalfe's "I don't like gay people" mantra.

Please, gay Obama supporters, tell me what this means for your family. And mine.

Update on the Dyke March

Sue — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 13:26:53 -0400

Here's the word from one of the organizers Eli.

[B]asically we want to make this year the best! We are branching out we want all women at the DYKE MARCH! No corporate sponsership! I am working on the route it will be held Downtown Betty Hill will speak cuz shes awesome and a few local performers(including Colelea) will perform,afterwards PINK PARTY PRODUCTIONS is throwing a party/dance we also will have benefits to be announced,and DYKE MARCH teeshirts/buttons.

Anyone interested can contact us on on myspace account (volunteers).

MySpace page is: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=336168242

Betty herself told me she is involved and will be speaking at the event. That is just exactly the level of cool this event needs. Betty is one of our favorite people. So, yeah for the Dyke March.

I'm voting for Hillary and it was the rich, white gay men who won me over

Sue — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:23:31 -0400

Today, I made up my mind that I am supporting and voting for Hillary Clinton. I'm sure no one is surprised. I've made a good faith effort to get excited about Barack Obama. I wanted to be a believer. But it just didn't happen. The preacher in him turns me off.

Here's what it comes down to for me. On "the issues," they are pretty close. By that I mean, their stances on ENDA, DADT, civil unions, marriage, etc. On paper, they "appear" very similar.

In action, they are nothing alike. Barack Obama has refused to interview with local gay media anywhere. Period. He gave one interview to the national gay magazine, The Advocate. How can one national interview, late in the primary season, build a relationship with the gay community? He made a speech imploring the African-American religious community to embrace gay civil rights. This after he brought notorious "ex-gay" Donnie McClurkin on board his swing through the south gospel tour or whatever it was called. He clearly has no problem affiliating with a movement that denounces homosexuality as something to be cured, a stance that taps right into the self-loathing so rampant among closeted minorities and youth. He talks like a preacher and walks like a well, like many preachers who disparage gay people.

Hillary Clinton marches in Pride parades. Her daughter visits gay bars. She worked to stop the national "marriage protection" amendment. She lifts up the gay people in her life, particularly those who touched her family personally. Hillary grants interviews to local gay media. She reaches out with intent to build relationships with our community. She has a LGBT steering committee in Pennsylvania and elsewhere.

This is not about one issue. My life is not a single issue. When our next President is working on health care, economic issues, environmental issues and so forth, I want her to be cognizant of all citizens and the impact her decisions will have on our families, including my little lesbian family.

If Obama ignores us as a constituency when he's fighting for the nomination, why should we believe he would care about us if he's nominated and elected?

This primary race has come down to the fact that one of them has to go. His name is John McCain and I believe that Hillary Clinton is the one to do it. ***************************************************

The rich white gay men is a little shout out to the hosts of today's LGBT Hillary cocktail party with the Queer as Folk celebrities. It was a modest crowd and one in which I recognized about 4 people. It turns out that the LGBT leadership, in general, is very divided. Passions flared during the Saturday night pub crawl. Steel City Stonewall and the Gertrude Stein Club leaders should really have some chat about actually showing up for events they sponsor -- that was embarrassing to me, as a member of Steel City. If your members spoke through the endorsement process, you should honor that and ensure that a few of your board members show up. No one from the GLCC board. No one from the human services sector. No one from GLENDA. Almost no lesbians or queer women at all. It was a room filled with somewhat older and a whole lotta young gay white men and it was the most camaraderie I've felt in months. Kudos to you, for making that happen.

Finally, I'll say this. How can gay people vote against their own self-interest? How can you trust a man who doesn't walk the walk? We may have no other choice come the Convention, but for now ... I'm voting for Hillary.

Pittsburgh is a great place to be gay

Sue — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 15:23:37 -0400

In honor of the Primary Pittsburgh Project, I'd like to take a few inches of this blog to review why I think this is a great place for the LGBTQ/gay/queer community.

First, the City of Pittsburgh has codified our civil rights and civil protections. It is illegal to discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation, gender identity or gender presentation in the areas of employment, housing or public accommodation. That was a very hard fought battle that took place well over a dozen years ago. That's a long time in gay history.

Second, Pittsburgh has many wonderful community based organizations and service organizations. We are home to Persad Center, the nation's first LGBT mental health provider. The Gay & Lesbian Community Center is in Squirrel Hill. The Pittsburgh AIDS Task Force and Shepherd Wellness Center grew from our communities to provide much needed services. GLENDA is still the best way to meet new gay people in a comfortable environment AND contribute to the community. PFLAG is there for our families. GLSEN and Voices of Hope (along with the GLCC and Persad's YEP programs) offer support and uplift our young people. The list goes on and on, but Pittsburgh is fortunate to have such a strong safety net.

Third, we must recognize our recreational and social outlets. From gay square dancing to OUTrageous Bingo, from softball to bowling, from potlucks to Cajun dancing, we have a lot of stuff going on in this town. There's Pink Party Productions, Operation Sappho and at least two different singles dinners. There's potlucks at the GLCC and Queer Dinners at the Gypsy Cafe. The L-Word party is immensely popular. The Film Society shows movies year round in addition to two excellent weeks of the film festival.

Fourth, let's shout out to our business community. Beyond the gay bar foundation, there are many, many local gay owned companies that serve the entire community. Coffee houses, clothing stores, caterers, and much more. One bakery has a monthly lesbian night. Another straight owned bar has declared themselves a gay bar (and has good pizza). Bank of New York Mellon has a thriving queer affiliation group for employees. And the so-called "pink dollar" is being sought after.

I want to stop and point out that the myth about gays having more disposable income is misleading. There are many local queer families that live in poverty or just a paycheck away -- just like heterosexual families. The good thing is that Pittsburgh is still an affordable place to live and raise your family so even if you aren't the fortunate few to live in a restored Shadyside Victorian mansion, you can still have access to all of these wonderful resources.

Next, I have to acknowledge electoral politics. Pittsburgh just elected our first openly gay member of City Council, so we can finally stop the wink, wink, nod, nod crap about those of whom we do not speak. Let's celebrate our champions - Dan Frankel and Bill Peduto (two straight white guys who are welcome at any gay event in town). Let's applaud our allies - Doug Shields, Chelsa Wagner, Rich Fitzgerald, Mike Lamb, Heather Arnet and others - for doing what they can to have an impact at their various levels. Let's hold out hope for our friends -- Wayne Fontana, Jake Wheatley, Jay Costa, Mike Doyle, Jason Altmire, Sean Logan -- that they remain steadfast against discrimination and hatred in the face of mounting pressure. Let's keep working on those who need work -- Dan Onorato, Luke Ravenstahl -- and work hard to keep those whom we need -- Brenda Frazier.

Most importantly, let's commend our two leading political groups -- the Steel City Stonewall Democrats and the Gertrude Stein Political Club of Greater Pittsburgh -- who work tirelessly on our behalf. We are quite fortunate to have so many talented individuals working to strengthen the political arena -- Sue Frietsche at the Women's Law Project and Dana Elmendorf of the PA Marriage Equality.

Moving on, our philanthropic resources. The Lambda Foundation has given away $1 million dollars locally. The Delta Foundation is pouring tens of thousands into Pride events. The Pittsburgh Foundation has a dedicated fund for LGBT health initiatives. Art for Life, formerly Art for AIDS, is a huge wonderful event. People turn out to public theater and to car washes to show their support for LGBT resources.

Almost there. Media and communication resources are vastly under appreciated here in Pgh. We have a monthly newspaper that serves a niche audience and serves it well. A local straight owned coffeehouse agreed to distribute it because a few people asked. That's cool. We have a super-huge Queer Events email list started by one woman who wanted to get the word out. Now she runs a calendar chock full of information and gives us a forum to discuss tough issues likes trans inclusion within the lesbian community as well as where to get the best cupcakes in town. Local gay groups are trying to catch up, they want to catch up. There are two blogs that have the word "lesbian" in their title. And 17 blogs that participated in the first Blog for Equality Day. Lynn Cullen and John McIntire talk about gay people, events and issues on a regular basis. The City Paper considers the gay angle in a lot of mainstream stories.

Finally, there's you. You might be the lesbian who reads this blog or you might be a straight man who surfed in from another site. You have kids or you don't. You are single or domestically partnered or married. Perhaps you've retired. You might go to Mass with your mother every weekend. You like the two nice women who make those awesome grilled cheese sandwiches and refuse to sell bottled water on principal. You know what HRC stands for and maybe a little bit about the whole ENDA debate. Your best friend is gay. You are the only gay person you know and you don't know what to do. You post anonymous comments telling me how wrong I am, but you keep coming back to read what I have to say about it. You are thinking about starting your own gay blog (go for it!).

You are Pittsburgh's queer community and you are what makes Pittsburgh a wonderful place to be gay.

The Gay Bar Crawls: I didn't go but here is what I think

Sue — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 10:11:49 -0400

Philadelphia's gay bars were visited by Chelsea Clinton and Ed Rendell last night. Pittsburgh's gay bars got actors from Queer as Folk.

Philadelphia's bar crawl was covered by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. I haven't seen anything about Pittsburgh's bar crawl. Did it even register?

Is there any PA politician that could make a believable bar crawl for Hillary here in Pittsburgh? Dan Frankel? Sophie? Luke? <pause ... ok, ha ha ha> Jason Altmire? Is he for Hillary?

No one crawled into a gay bar for Obama.

What's up with that?

ps: I don't cover bar crawls because I hate smoke and would be beyond cranky in about 5 minutes. When the bars go smoke free, I'll be there.

Open Letter to Barack Obama on gay issues

Sue — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 13:13:39 -0400

This is a good letter. When Obama starts his explanation on opposing gay marriage, he uses the phrase "I"m a Christian." Is he fueling the myth that being gay and being Christian are mutually exclusive? This taps into my deep concern that the modern politician is forced into Christians versus LGBTQ community position. Guess who loses? The Christo-flavored rhetoric of Obama gives me pause.

Although both you and Senator Clinton decline to support gay marriage per se, it is your statements on this issue that seem alienating, divisive, and uninformed and that subtly contribute to the persistence of one of this country’s worst forms of religious persecution and social bigotry. Even the possibility that you and your platform -- wittingly or unwittingly -- may contribute to the perpetuation of bigotry and prejudice in any way against anyone is, to our sensibilities, unthinkable.

<snip>

While you are careful to appear to uphold and defend the GLBT community’s basic safety and legal rights, in a March 25, 2007, Chicago Tribune story that referenced comments you made during your 2004 run for the U.S. Senate, you led off your objections to gay marriage with the statement “I'm a Christian” [see below for full context of quote]. On its own as a part of your personal profile or in answer to a query about your personal beliefs, this statement is both appropriate and informative. But linked to your objections about gay marriage and by extension the gay lifestyle, it serves to entrench modern attitudes of religion-based bigotry and persecution and effectively implies that “gay” and “Christian” are mutually exclusive. This is not only wrong and uninformed but also flies in the face of the most basic Christian values and beliefs of unconditional love and acceptance.

<snip>

Mr. Obama, you have clearly stated your reluctance to allow your private religious beliefs to shape your public policy. This is wise in theory but difficult in practice, because while you are free to interpret your personal religious beliefs in any way you choose, as a talented orator you realize that words are powerful and can also crucially shape both public policy and public opinion. This letter is not an attempt to change your personal opinions or religious beliefs on this or any other issue, but it is an invitation for you to reexamine your spoken expressions and public statements toward a segment of Americans about whom you clearly evidence a lack of knowledge and experience. Can we be gay? Can we be Christian? Perhaps now, Mr. Obama, you may be a bit more aware of the possibilities and the answer that must include us all in your visionary new world: Yes, We Can.

Saturday Random Stuff

Sue — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 11:12:00 -0400

Melissa Etheridge is going to Philly, Reading and Columbus, Ohio, but not Pittsburgh. I hear she just doesn't sell well here. Very sad.

Now that Melissa caught your eye, read on please.

Equality Advocates PA wants to build on the great turnout of gays and gay allies to the Pittsburgh hearing on SB 1250, the so-called marriage protection amendment. They want you to turn out for the next hearing Harrisburg and a big rally on May 5. Buses will be scheduled to transport folks from Pittsburgh. Anyone want to go and carpool? You guys should be really proud of yourselves for setting the bar so high vis a vis the turnout here in Pittsburgh. Way to go, homos! You rock.

Scary international news from Rome (365gay.com)

Rome police are searching for members of a mob of youths who burst into the city's LGBT center, ransacking the building.

The attack on Mario Mieli Homosexual Cultural Circle occurred Thursday night while members were in the building.

As they attempted to confront the gang the youths yelled anti-gay and anti-Semitic slogans. As they ran off the gang yelled praises for Benito Mussolini, Italy's wartime dictator.

"We fear that this situation is linked to the electoral climate," the association said in a statement.

Rome is in the midst of a mayoral runoff between rightist and leftist candidates.

And in Kyrgyzstan (Pink News):

Human Rights Watch drew attention to the fact that the police action in the capital Bishkek was the second time Labrys had been targeted in this way.

The centre was hosting a dinner for local and international LGBT groups on April 8th when three officers entered and threatened to arrest anyone who did not produce identification.

They also searched private files at the centre, which also serves as a shelter for transgender people and women who are victims of violence.

Kyrgyzstan is a former Soviet republic in central Asia, home to more than five million people.

Although the majority are Muslim, the country is relatively secular and homosexuality is legal.

But in Columbia, some good news ...

Colombia's Colombia’s Constitutional Court has ruled that the government must extend pension benefits to same-sex partners.

The court ruled that same-sex partners must be given the same pension and health benefits as opposite-sex married partners receive.

The ruling said that to exclude same-sex partners would violate the principle of non-discrimination and human dignity as the expression of personal autonomy, protected by international law.

If you interested in a different perspective on gay issues, follow the link on the right the the Pink News site. Lots of good stuff and an international perspective on US issues. Did you know that other countries have elections with candidates from more than two parties (or one party, really, right?). That candidates in Europe take pro-gay stances that are controversial. That you don't have to surgically implant the Bible to your body to be taken seriously?

Wow.

Queer as Folk Events

Sue — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 19:16:32 -0400

800+ people have forwarded this information to me.

Steel City Stonewall, the Gertrude Stein Club and Hillary Clinton for President are bringing back Queer as Folk to Liberty Avenue. There's a pub crawl Saturday night and a cocktail hour Sunday afternoon. Sharon Gless, Robert Gant and Michelle Clunie are the guests of honor.

I have never seen a single episode of Queer as Folk. Should I rent it?

Anyway, it is kind of cool pub crawl as pub crawls go. I won't be doing that part because of the bar smoke, but I'm hoping to cover the cocktail mingling and get some inside scoop on which local homos are pro-Hillary and why.

The most important thing is knowing which of you homos is pro-voting.

RIP

Sue — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 18:36:02 -0400

Today would be my friend John's 42nd birthday. I met John when I was 14 years old and he was 18. His mother moved next door to my parents where she lives to this day. He helped me get a job, took me to my prom and was one of the best friends I ever had.

John was a veterinarian and one of the best. Animals just connected with him in a way I've seen nowhere else. It was sad that illness took him away from the career he was born to pursue. It was even sadder when that illness took his life this past November, leaving behind a heartbroken family of both two-footed and four-footed folks.

I'm still missing my Mona. Last night - two weeks after her death --, my friends lost their wonderful dog unexpectedly and we cried together. I imagined Mona waiting for him in some sunny field. I also imagine John choosing to be in dog heaven instead of people heaven. And I don't really believe in heaven. :-)

Happy birthday, dear friend. I miss you and I know you are taking great care of my girl and her friend.