John was my friend since I was 14 and he was 19 when his mother moved next door to my parents.  He was this amazing man and I miss him a lot.  I miss his smart-ass comments, his willingness to get down on the floor with the pets, his pleasure over a simple meal and his obsessive collecting.  :-)  John was the first person I came out to and he was just so great when I was confusing myself.  The death of a friend who is 41 is just mind-blowing.  Rest in peace, my friend.