I won't waste words telling you how much I enjoyed this column.  I'll just give you a teaser and link you on your way...

Cheney: I will not sup tonight.
Give me some ink and paper, maybe some buckshot while you're at it.
Are all my guns laid out?

Gates: They are my liege; and all things are in readiness.

Cheney: Good, Duke of Defense, hie thee to thy charge; use careful watch; choose trusty sentinels. Watch out for The New York Times.

Gates: I go, my lord.

Bush: Now wait a darn minute. He's not your lord. I am. I'm the Decider. I can read your mail if I want to.

[Vice King Cheney rolls his eyes.]