I Joined a Committee. Dear God. #NaBloPoMo

When was the last time you did something brave? What happened?

This prompt has me somewhat stumped.

When you live with anxiety, bravery takes on a whole new level. It can be brave to talk to the cashier or ask someone in an aisle to help you reach an item on a higher shelf. There’s bravery in answering a telephone call without waiting for a voice mail. And there’s bravery in each act of engagement, big and small. The payoff is the attempt itself, not the literal outcome. I get my box of cereal – yay. The cashier smiles at me and doesn’t say anything – still, yay, because I tried and there are 8 million reasons why they might not be talking that have nothing to do with me.

But that’s not fodder for an interesting blog post.

Here’s something a little more concrete if still pretty esoteric. I agreed to serve on a committee.

The CEO of our neighborhood CDC (community development corporation) contacted me with an invitation to serve on an advisory committee around planned development in our neighborhood.

I don’t really do committees even though I really like meetings. Weird, huh? I haven’t served on a board for years and years. I haven’t been on a committee that wasn’t work related for even longer.

That’s in part due to my anxiety – I don’t want to set myself up for failure by being unable to attend. And it is also in part a desire to be a lone ranger blogger who doesn’t have to play nice with others.

This in particular is really outside of my comfort zone. I have no experience with urban planning or development. I’m not a fan of historical preservation especially among houses when it comes at the expense of affordable housing. And my faith in bureacracy is limited in scope.

But I have been thinking quite a bit of late around the topic of gentrification. I don’t necessarily have any big thoughts or solutions, but I am good for asking difficult questions. So maybe this is an opportunity for me to take those thoughts and put them into action.

Gulp.

Stay tuned ….

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