I think my most amusing first date was with Patrick. We were set up by his sister-in-law. He invited me to go see the Corvette Museum in Bowling Green, KY (I lived in KY at the time.) I thought that was an interesting choice so I agreed. It was a 45 minute drive so we had a nice chat and I was pleasantly surprised at how much I learned about Corvettes (he was a great tour guide.) We had dinner afterwards and he confided in me that he had picked the museum because even if I turned out to be a dud, he would still like the cars. Oh my! I thought that was hysterically blunt. So I asked him if he would let me drive his actual Corvette if we dated for six months. He choked on his food and said “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. Driving the Corvette would require marriage and a few children.” LOL.
I already answered this question.
- Calamine Lotion Man showed up for a blind date covered head to toe in pink calamine lotion. He had caught poison ivy while doing yard work for his mother (laudable) but didn’t want to break our date. Wrong choice. Then he disclosed that he forgot his wallet. Uh oh. Fast forward 3 years, he calls me out of the blue to ask me if he can repay me for dinner and would I mind helping him figure out why he isn’t getting responses to his current online profile. I declined.
- Rain Man. I had told him I was recovering from a nasty bout of bronchitis that had made me lose work hours and miss class. We went to a movie and as we left, it was pouring rain. He said “race you” and let me walk to the car knowing I was recovering from bronchitis. Then he turned on the AC full blast (it was mid-summer) as I sat there dripping and wanted to know if I’d like to go to Eat N Park for dessert. Um, no.
- No Holidays Man. We went out a few times and it was perfectly pleasant if not “wow” – he mentioned casually that he usually broke up with women before major holidays so he didn’t have to buy them gifts. I noted to myself that Valentine’s Day was approaching. Sure enough, on February 11, he “ended things” (it wasn’t really a thing, just a few dates.) I responded by reminding him of his precedent – we both laughed and remained friends.
- Double Dipper. My friend set me up with a woman. We met for dinner and ordered an appetizer – I think it was cheese sticks. Anyway, she proceeded to double-dip so I didn’t eat any of them. When she wanted to split the bill, I told her she could pay for the appetizer since she ate it. Somehow I got dragged to the mall to look around and was appalled to watch her berate a clerk in a candy shop for not having the exact item she wanted. I left. She contacted me a few weeks later to tell me I was rude about the appetizer and she had decided to marry a nice Jewish boy her parents found for her. Okay. I should have left after the appetizer.