I've been off the radar for over a week. I needed to recharge and rethink some of the ridiculous aspects of, well, everything.
I've half-heartedly paid attention to the polls, but it was just last week I changed my screen-saved from “Elect Joe Hoeffel” to be honest with you. Hardly a rousing endorsement.
I also had some thoughts about the concept of being “out” and how it really should be open to interpretation of the individual. The key is that the person has to tell other people if they are our or not. I think a lot of folks, including myself, sort of assume that out is out. While we don't parade around (well, only once a year) with banners, it seems like we try to lead authentic lives.
All of us, I must say, fail.
For example, I work with clients and must maintain certain professional boundaries to provide good services. So our rule is that we don't discuss our families in the sense of sharing the names of our spouses or details about children. Pretty much we leave it at “I'm married with 3 kids” … enough for some chit chat, but not enough to interfere with the “we aren't friends” boundary. Except … my stating that “I'm partnered with no kids” is a little bit more interference. My sexual orientation doesn't interfere with my capacity to do my job and it has never been an issue with my colleagues at my current workplace (except Verizon but that's another story). But it is true that being gay could get in the way of my work with clients so I just say nothing. They all assumem I'm unmarried with no kids. It isn't a big deal and I'm more than willling to make that compromise b/c who I am as a person leads to lots of opportunities for that casual chit chat — I have dogs and cats, I like soap operas, etc. It is fine.
But it is not authentic. It is not authentic because of the social structures that teach people that a gay identity is lesser. I'm pretty much willing to blame churches for just about anything now since I think gay reparation therapy is one of the leading causes that kids are killing themselves.
But I also knowingly take the risk that any resident could find out at any time. I have this blog, I'm quoted in the paper, I might be on WTAE this week. Yeah, it is a risk. And if it comes up, I'm already prepared to handle it. Because I don't think it will really be a problem since I've done a good job and I've established a positive relationship with my clients.
This week, I have a work event. Ledcat will come (b/c she rocks) and I will be proud to introduce her.
OK, I gotta blog about politics so enough of this …