Butchin’ Up Jesus

Courtesy of Pam's House Blend, this is hysterical:

 

 Fishermen, Inc. makes figurines of Jesus participating in very butch activities like playing football, riding bulls, and engaging in the rawest, most manly, and sacred capitalist endeavor, working for food. These little statues are exactly what Our Lord needs to convince us that he's as heterosexual as the Pope or your average mega-church pastor–I mean who ever heard of a homosexual cowboy or football player?).

I'm picturing a petition-carrying Jesus figurine to cover the former and Our Savior fitting a ball gag on a sailor to take care of the latter. I suppose a shout out to the Illinois Family Institute's Peter LaBarbera would also be useful, maybe a leather-and-nipple-chain-clad Jesus going undercover to document the atrocities at a pride event. I don't think there's anything that gives a man more hetero cred than being a secret agent in the war against sodomy. It sure works for Mr. LaBarbera.

I'm not sure football Jesus is wearing the appropriate head gear and might in fact be a poor role model for small children.  Unless repeated concussions make you more malleable?  Hmmm.

************************************************

We need your help to save the blog.

For 18+ years,  snowflakes, social justice warriors, and the politically correct have built this blog.

Follow us on Twitter @Pghlesbian24 and Instagram @Pghlesbian

We need your ongoing support to maintain this archive and continue the work. Please consider becoming a patron of this blog with a recurring monthly donation or make a one-time donation.       This post and/or others may contain affiliate links. Your purchase through these links support our work. You are under no obligation to make a purchase.